The heart doesn't seem to know when to let go of love that hurts, hurtful words, hurtful memories, and love lost. I have trouble understanding my heart or the heart problems of others. Why don't we have the ability to control our heart? My heart betrays me on so many levels that I often wish that I could just randomly shock it and cause it a lot of pain.

Why does the heart hold on to painful experiences and seem to long for them? I sat and watch my heart and mind be moved by the memories of pain and actually seem to yearn for pain. I'm so tired of this heart of mine; it has been trouble for me for many years and I am sick of it!

What do you do when your HEART won't let GO?!

Thank you all who read and follow me! I thank you for reading this blog and I THANK YOU ALL for FOLLOWING this blog. Please continue to follow me, leave comments, and tell other people about this blog. I look forward to blogging more and I hope that when you come here you leave with something that helps you.

Thank You Again So Much

Think Like A Man was an awesome movie! I was quite impressed with the acting, the plot, and even the comedy scenes. The movie seriously gave me a jolting epiphany; after one character stated that he could, "give up a little of this so-called freedom in order to be held, kissed, loved, and have someone to go home to."

I've never had a problem understanding the power of being with someone and loving the feeling you get when you're with a person you love and coming home to them, but it is even more powerful to come to the conclusion that you can give up the freedom to go where you want to go or do what you want to do; you can give this all up so that you can be with the one you love.

I can't promise you when you're in a relationship you won't have moments of loneliness, but I will tell you this it can help you get over the illusion of freedom.

The illusion of freedom.

I am a man of action, but I am more so a man of reaction. I spend more time planning out my reaction to something and end up remorseful or hurt that I reacted the wrong way. All this week I have been praying that I become a man who is constantly reflecting and evaluating, rather than being a man who just reacts to things.

Prayerfully I hope that I take action to change this behavior. To stop having a reaction as to why people don't support me like they may support others, or why I don't have things like other people have, or better still why my life isn't how I imagined it. Instead I want to learn to thank God for everything that he has given me and for the things that he did not allow to come into my life. I need to evaluate how I treat people and also learn how to improve upon the things that I do so people will WANT to support me or support what I do.

I think that more than anything I need to constantly reflect on my relationship with Christ and react, no respond to His continued love and grace that He shows to me and trust him in providing, blessing, and favoring me.

Thank you Jesus for Reflection and not Reaction.