Entry 16-
I was talking to my parental unit this morning and was talking about celibacy. How the decision for me has become easier as time goes by. I told him yeah I'm sort of at a small disadvantage than someone who has never had sex, because they don't know what they are missing, but I also said I don't have to deal with the curiosity and pressure that virgins have to deal with. All and all I said that it would be easier if I didn't know what I was missing, if I never tasted the forbidden fruit, and if I could back in time and change somethings I would be better.
Well that's not a reality and I messed up a long time ago and had sex outside of marriage. I knew it wasn't God's will for my life and I knew it was a sin, but I couldn't deal with the curiosity, I didn't have people in my face telling me not to do it; except for the preacher on Sunday and my grandmother (R.I.P.) in our at home Bible studies telling me and my cousins to wait until we were married to have sex. (I'll tell that story in another celibacy post)...But anyway I heard more of how good sex was, how it made you a man, how men needed to learn how to please a woman early or they would be bad, and then me just being curious of what it would be like. Yeah I didn't have a lot of positives and abstinence and celibacy wasn't a conversation I heard outside of church.
I'm not blaming anyone for my actions, because at the end of the day I made the decisions that I made. It probably wasn't helpful that I was watching and reading about sexual stuff either. Ha!
I was telling my parental unit that the feeling of peace and that I no longer feel guilty FAR OUTWEIGHS the horny times that comes from time to time. Plus I'm so glad that I have a relationship with Jesus Christ that I can pray during those times when I feeling horny or really lustful. I also have friends that I can talk to and they can pray with me. I'm far from perfect and I don't want to paint that picture, but I don't want to go back on my decision. I know sex is a beautiful thing. I also know that it must be good if God created it. Like everything there are boundaries and rules to having sexual relationships and it should be shared within a marriage. That's where it is blessed. That's where it is Holy and you can get down and dirty without no feelings of guilt. If I can be patient about everything else I can be patient about waiting until I'm married right?
Yes I can and I hope that you'll make the decision to wait. I'm telling you you'll be able to build a deeper relationship with Christ when you make the decision to follow him and his word. Secondly your intimate relationships are more fulfilling when sex isn't in the equation. You really get to know a person and who they are, true conflict resolution instead of the band aid we try to use with sex when we are upset with one another, lessen the risk of contracting STI's or STD's, and the freedom you get from being guilt free when you decide to wait.
Our bodies are a temple for the Lord and even to the ones that don't believe in God you should respect your bodies and everyone shouldn't easily gain access to your body and your sexuality.
Well celibacy was the choice I made for myself and I hope that you'll make a decision if not to be celibate or abstinent, well please respect your body and be safe.
