Dating-PTSD (4/1/2009)- Where's The Romance

I think one of the most detrimental things to the world of dating/relationships is the loss of Romance or the loss of WORKING TO MAKE THE OTHER PERSON HAPPY ON PURPOSE is almost altogether nonexistent. I mean even the love songs are absent of the romance, the courting; the work that both men and women used to put in to make being in a relationship so incredible, so thought provoking, innocent (with a hint of physical excitement); the whole idea that this person, who they are, and the things they do for you; has you thinking about them all day long. I mean there is no real work anymore...there is no thoughtfulness or creativity, no respect, no foreplay (HA...another post LOL), nothing but self-gratification and heartache. Relationships have become so casual that one night stands are no longer looked at as a bad thing, but like depositing your check in the bank and no bills to pay! Look I'm not hating on you if that sort of thing works for you, but for the hopeless romantics like me out there, let's work to bring romance back into relationships and relearning how to be Gentlemen and Ladies.

Romance/Romance Gestures/Gentleman:

• Opening the doors for her...I mean even getting so serious that she can't open any door for herself.


• Buying her flowers...special occasions, first dates are nice for sending flowers, but sending them just because is even better.


• Buying a thinking of you card for her from time to time.


• Paying for the bill.


• Knocking on her door and meeting her father before you take her out on a date (I think this depends on your age or does it?)


• Planning a date and having it so well thought out that she doesn't have time to ask what's next.


• Walking behind her when she walks up the steps. (This an old school move....also I got reeducated on this from the movie What Love Is).


• Walking in front of her when she walks down the steps.


• Telling her she's beautiful.


• Learning what she likes, what her favorite things in life are.


• Giving her a tender kiss and being as sensual as possible when you do it.


• Cooking a nice breakfast or dinner for them.


• Have a warm bath ready for them, complete with roses in the water or their favorite flowers, and a glass of wine or kool aid LOL.

Romance/Romantic Gestures/Ladies:

• Being appreciative when your friend/man/boo/husband is being a gentleman or being romantic- (This is HUGE ladies. If you truly appreciate a romantic man this makes them enjoy doing these things for you and may even have them step up there game).


• Complimenting them (Men like compliments too)


• Cooking breakfast in bed and feeding them.


• Cooking their favorite dinner and letting them enjoy it in front of their favorite TV show, to a soft striptease (Married Couples Only LOL), a massage, or by candlelight.


• Planning a date that leaves them speechless.


• Letting them enjoy a day with the Fellas or their friends, and then coming home to a nice meal and another romantic/sensual surprise ;)


• Telling them what a great man they are (Everyone likes their ego-stroked from time to time, but if you're telling the truth it won't be hard for you to tell them how great they are.)


• Singing to them or playing romantic music in the background.


• Respecting yourselves and your bodies.


• Making them WORK FOR YOU...AND I MEAN ALL OF YOU! Make them work, let them chase you, and don't be easy. (You're not just romancing them, you're romancing yourself).

(Honestly ladies I don't know what else to say for you guys so maybe you can help me out. Ladies please tell me how women can be romantic towards your man).

Well I think I gave you guys something to work with. All I have to say is that we have to start thinking about others and their feelings. I know dating and relationships can bring anxiety, but with a little Romance and Respect we can begin to slowly be cured of our Dating PTSD...