Let me be clear brothers (White men, Black men, Asian men, Green men) I'm not hating on you if you got your woman wrapped around your fingers, but I have to ask ladies how do you live with yourselves; at least the ones who lower all of your standards to be with a man that does absolutely nothing, but brings fire/sparks to your lower region every time you two jump in the sheets.

I have had numerous conversations like this...well more like overheard women talking on the bus, train, mall, and anywhere women can congregate and discuss how horrible their men are, but how great they are in bed. Like I said I don't hate, but I have to be honest how do they get these women. I mean they get the bad women, who are really good, but just can't get the rest of their lives together; and they get the all around great women. I can't understand this like they must have gold in their pants because these jobless, abusive, homeless, drug addicted, bad hygiene, and men unwilling to commit past using you as a place to deposit sperm; they get the really great WOMEN!!! I can't understand it.

I mean these women work for the government making money, have their own houses, cars, in church or spiritual, but they have these men who (excuse me) are not good for anything but making their bodies scream in ecstasy; then they actively complain about it.

I'm just saying ladies improve your standards and try to respect yourselves. Hey I'm not saying you have to settle for the man who does everything right, but doesn't know what he's doing in the realm of...wait I'm not even going to go into that lol. Anyway all I'm saying that if you believe you are worth something, make a man work for you...all of you and don't settle. I know you've heard it all before, but please be more than a dump for some man's fertile excrement.

I just think a woman should be treated with respect, brought flowers from time to time, and that she gets a gentlemen every time they are with each other. Action, Adventure, and Fun is all important in a relationship too, but please don't settle ladies.

But if you are content with being a "Sex Buddy" then don't complain about it.
So I've been truly trying to escape this growing insanity in my mind. The insanity that is trying to consume me and over power me to no end. Sometimes I sit and wonder if I will make it. It's like my mind is trying to devour me completely and nothing I can do or say will help me escape. I sometimes have to pray that God will help quiet the noise. I sometimes can't even focus on one thought because hundreds are being filter through my mind all at once.

This morning it was so bad I had to cry angry tears to get a moments rest. I sit here and type this and feel like I want to explode.

Thought 1: Lord I pray that you would forgive...Thought 2 says while I was trying to complete thought 1: Dang I wonder how that woman looks naked...Thought 3 while Thought 2 is still inquiring about the woman's nakedness: I want to hurt her sometimes all I need for them to all just shut the hell up....Me: Focus Joey focus...Thought 1: Lord I pray you would please forgive me of my thoughts and my lying tongue...Thought 4: I don't feel like going to work today...Thought 5:You're going to be single forever...Thought 6: Look at your family all torn apart I wonder....Thought 6: F*&^% them all stupid *^&*%*...Thought 1: Lord please deliver me, please save my family, please bless my friends, please bind my flesh...Thought 7: Sex is so amazing...Me: Focus please stop all the noise.

Seriously I can't even describe how this truly played out in my mind. There were no pauses, no breaks, all of that above happened all at once. I couldn't focus. I only found some peace through getting on the bus and reading my Bible this morning. I'm just so tired. I only truly find peace when I laugh and when I laugh loud. I find peace when I'm reading a good novel or writing. I find peace when I listen to music or enjoying the company of good friends. I find peace when I'm consumed by a good book. I'm just so tired of all the noise, all the fighting, the sin, the cycle, the pain, the hurt, the joy, the repeating, and yet I find peace in it all at times.

Today was a good day. Today I found a nice book to read by Alice Walker. Possessing the Secret of Joy. Tonight I was inspired to write. Tonight I've been missing someone. Tonight I will hang up my clothes and shower. Tomorrow God willing I will wake up and go to work. Hopefully the noise will be calm. The storm of my mind won't rage and the anguish in my heart won't thrive.

Tomorrow I will laugh...

Tomorrow I will smile...

Tomorrow...

So...
So I really enjoy good conversation. I enjoy sitting back talking to people or friends, having something to talk about, and listening to what others have to say. I enjoy people who have wisdom or people who can talk about a subject and have substance. I also love when I have real conversations with people and they find out I have more to offer then what they initially thought of me. I also love when people actually listen and are not so wrapped up in what's going on around them, not texting or on the phone, but they are engaging in conversation, making eye contact, and we can actually recall what each person has said and give feedback.

On another note I have to blog about a few things, but I've actually been kind of lazy. I want to blog more about dating and relationships, but especially online dating LOL.

So I guess that's it. If you want to make me happy have a good deep conversation with me or a totally random goofy one LOL. All I ask is that you actually pay attention.

So...