"Even if these moments go uncaptured or go unnoticed I will embrace them. You will gaze into my eyes and feast upon my words and know that even if for a moment my heart is towards you."- To you from Jwriter.

One day I will give my all for you. You will be my jewel and I will be your delight. We will be together and there is no one to tear us asunder. I will gaze upon your beauty and smile. You will be wrapped up in my milk chocolate sexiness and be entranced. Holy matrimony will be our salvation as the love we share… well only for your ears. I will be your King and you will be my Queen. Our love will never be an illusion, but a magnificent tapestry woven by God Himself. My love will know no bounds and I will sacrifice my very being if need be. I want to be the man you desire and the one created to love you.

One day I will find you and my searching wouldn’t have been in vain. All the heartache I’ve endured would have shaped me into the man just for you. It would be worth it and you will heal every broken part of me with just a simple, yet amazing kiss.

I will find you and you will be my good thing. I wish I could write more, but the thoughts of finding you are becoming too much for my heart to take.

joe4christ.blogspot.com

You won’t stand for the conventional man, whose approach is repeatable, unreliable, and incomprehensible. You don’t gain satisfaction or your life’s ambition by stepping on the backs of the depressed, regressed, and often lacking men of the world, but you seek to empower, uphold, and uplift him to be a powerful leader. Woman you treasure your body and treat it as a holy temple. Only a man who is worth your time and worth his grain in salt is able to obtain you. He can never possess you, for you are not some simple treasure to be stolen and hidden, but a gift to be honored and adored. Your smile is not tainted by self-hatred and loathing. You embrace your sister, make powerful your sister, you treat her with the same respect you demand, and you never tear her down or eviscerate her with your words or gossip.

Woman you are as rubies that shine in the darkest of night. You raise your daughters to be beautiful and modest. Your prowess is unique and your self-esteem is flawless. You do not seek the bed of your sisters’ husband, but radiantly illuminates the bedroom in which your own husband dwells. You seek the happiness of others and you nurture the wounds of your family in your bosom. Your tears are shed for your sisters whose wombs are killed daily by the poison of pleasure. You ache in pain for the misery of lost children and destroyed families. You don’t tolerate the words of a foolish man or the hands of a man too weak to love you with his hands, but instead tries to strike your esteem into submission.

You love unconditionally and you recognize a good thing when you see one. Woman you hold on to your dreams even when they seem fantasy. You recognize your gift and understand the truth behind submission and not subjugation. Your first love is God and you honor Him mind, body, and soul. You stand ready to defend your family and to speak highly of your kin. Your words are as soft as feathers and they soothe even the most poisonous of wounds. You treat yourself with kindness and you don’t give yourself away to anyone.

Where is this woman? Is she a transient being whose light is smothered by the darkness of this world? Does this woman have the potential birthed within her, or is it thrashed about as she is left to learn of the world on her own? Woman I see you as a woman, and yet your word seeps sorrow and destruction.
You are treated as a tool for breeding and you allow your body to be used up to depletion. How long will you defile your sister? How long will you destroy one another? How long will you cast your pearls before the swine of lust and pride? Is there no remnant of women who can be called wife? Are you unable to walk in your beauty and stand before God as the treasure He created?

Will you not correct the wrong that has befallen you? Will you not begin to clothe yourself with dignity and clothe your daughters as well? Is profane language and invisible clothing your only outlet? Will you bring this woman to life?

I don’t know if this woman ever existed?

"I think us as men become so use to learning to treat women as sperm receptacles that we overlook when we have a gift before us. Then again the world needs more women who looks and treat themselves as treasure rather than a sperm deposit box! -

jwriter

joe4christ.blogspot.com

“He gave his best friend a kidney and now he is at home recovering.”

“Wow! Now that is what I call a friend. I don’t know many friends who would give a family member a kidney too willingly, let alone a friend. I wonder if that friend will always appreciate their friendship.”

-A conversation between me and my amazing mother.

I don’t think there is a universal standard for measuring the true example of a friend. Granted Christianity has taught that a friend sticks closer to you than a brother and that no greater love has any man than to lay down his life for a friend. Those are two really big standards to live by, but besides that I believe everyone has their own definition of what friendship is. I believe that friendship is an amazing form of relationship and quite possibly the one that most people miss out on and end up neglecting. I truly am a believer that those who have friends have treasures that can’t compare to the most beautiful diamonds in the world. I know for some they may not have experienced this incredible form of human relationship, but for those of us that have you know you can’t find it anywhere else.

A friend is defined, “one attached to another by affection or esteem,” Miriam-Webster Dictionary. I wonder who you are connected to by affection or esteem. Who do you call your friend and do they really call you a friend. Over my life I have had many friends (well so to speak), but I honestly know that for the most part I’ve been a real friend to people. I really enjoy being friendly, meeting new people, and I enjoy making people laugh. I really enjoy having friends, but most of all I enjoy the love that is shared between a group of people. I’m not talking about cliques or false communities of friendships, but true genuine people that you can call your friends.

How do you measure friendship? Do you measure it on the amount of money your friends let you borrow? Do you measure it by the amount of times your friends have said the things you wanted to hear? Do you measure your friendships on how easily you can take advantage of them or how easily you can manipulate them? Do you measure your friendships on what your friends can do for you? Do you measure your friendships based on their popularity in comparison to your own? Is friendship with you exclusive and set aside only for the elite?

I don’t know how you measure friendship, but here a few lines on how I measure friendships:

I know you are a friend when we can miss so much time between each other, but when we reconnect it is as though we never parted.

I count you as a friend when every once in a while I laugh at some crazy thing you did when we were hanging out.

I count you as a friend because you were there for me in some difficult point in my life and you didn’t judge me, but you prayed for me or you encouraged me.

My friend was there when no one else showed up to celebrate with me.

Sometimes a friend will let you down, but tries to make it up to you.

A friend will be honest with you and tell you what you need to hear.

Friends will go to war for you and won’t stand by idly when someone is trying to harm you.

Friends share their moments of great happiness with you and can’t have those moments without you being there.

Friends are not for a season only temporary acquaintances are for a season. Again a friend may not be with you every day, but you know they care and when you get around each other you start back where you left off.

I know I’m your friend when I have to give you my all. I shed tears with you, I shout praises with you, I embrace you, I love you no matter what, I get upset with you, and I forgive you. If I give my all I know that I count you as a friend.

A friend sticks closer than a brother.

Hopefully you have friends that will be willing to give a kidney to you.

How do you measure friendship?

joe4christ.blogspot.com

Friends vs. Enemies

An enemy talks about you behind your back without any remorse or desire to change the behavior.

A friend won’t talk bad about you behind your back, but if they do a friend will apologize for their mistake.

An enemy will lie to you in your face and make it seem like you’re the liar when they are confronted.

A friend will be honest with you and be able to face the truth when they are wrong.

An enemy doesn’t want any good to come your way and only lives for your destruction.

A friend prays earnestly that you will live a successful, healthy, and beautiful life.

An enemy will take advantage of you every moment he or she can. They will be spiteful when they should be appreciative, hurtful when they should be grateful, and put you down when they should be building you up.

A friend will look for opportunities to be a blessing to you and not just wait for opportunities to be blessed. They will be forgiving when they shouldn’t forgive; they will appreciate you, even when they feel unappreciated, they will be grateful, and will not allow others to tear you down.

An enemy cares nothing for your tears.

A friend will cry with you.

An enemy can ignore you for days, months, even years.

A friend will send some form of contact to let you know they care or they are thinking of you.

An enemy is content looking at your drama as their entertainment.

A friend will let you know you may need to change in order to grow and press forward.

An enemy will let you do them wrong to gain sympathy from others.

A friend will point out your wrong and hold you accountable to righting that wrong.

An enemy won’t support you in anything positive.

A friend will support you when no one else will.

How many of us have been friends? How many of us can live up to the standards of the kind of friend described in these statements? How many enemies do we have posing as friends? Are you a friend or an enemy in disguise? We have to learn that our actions speak louder than words and that we can’t go around calling people our friends and unable to live up to the standards of being a friend. Don’t get me wrong friends will mess up and so will you, but at the end of the day you know a friend because they stick closer than a brother.

So I’m lying here unsure of what I’m feeling. An all familiar depression has taken a hold of me; it’s situational of course, but it is still a difficult mood to experience. It feels like I’m being drained of every ounce of happiness I possess. I feel like I’m slowly being drained of the light that normally keeps me going. I cried so many tears in just this one day alone, starting with my drive to church this morning, during altar call, and on my way home. As I type these words hoping for some sort of comfort, I can feel the salty pools of liquid forming in my eyes. I so want to be over this, but somehow I find myself unable to get pass the empty black hole that seems to consume me even now. I think of leaving this world and try to overcome those thoughts with thoughts of success, thoughts of happiness, and thoughts of love. Love, yeah this is the very thing that most of the time brings me to this point.

So journal I promised myself that I wouldn’t ever go back to the depressed state that I was in during the year 2005, but I do from time to time get into a mood that is written all over my face. All I want to do is get in bed, cry, and just be able to sleep. This is a persistent pattern for me when things just seem to overwhelm me or I wish that the things around me would just go well. I know that this isn’t a reality and I normally handle things a little bit better that this, but journal I’m starting to think that maybe I need more than just the current coping skills that I have at my disposal. People don’t understand that sometimes I just feel so worthless and I get lost in thoughts of self-hate and begin to break my own self down. Don’t get me wrong I don’t like being this way, and for most of my days I love who I am and all of that, but those days when I’m overwhelmed, I feel disliked, I feel like the ones I love are ignoring me, and I feel defeated; the depression is able to cast it’s dark spell over me and it’s witchcraft has trapped me within it seemingly impervious wrought iron gates.

I just hate feeling this way and it seems as though the only way to escape myself is to cry. The tears help to ease the pain. It is hard when you don’t have anyone to listen to you. That one notion seems to be a pervasive theme in my life. I have plenty of people to talk to, but I can’t identify one “earthly” person that will listen. A person that will see beyond who I am, who they want me to be, or what they think I should do; they instead listen to what I’m feeling and reflect on my perspective. I’m surrounded by so much love and people who say they care, but I find myself so alone. I’m not blaming anyone for my feelings, but at the same time we sometimes are so selfish that we are unable to see how alienated someone feels around us. I find myself so envious, so jealous, wanting people to care for me, and wanting them to care for me the way I care for them. I’m unable to escape it sometimes; waves of despair, loneliness, and sadness overwhelm me and I find myself trapped in the bottomless pit of my heart.

I don’t want to be in this place for ever. So I hope after getting some much needed rest and some much needed blogging I will feel better.

So…