Single in the City

Single in the City

Seven Points to Successfully Navigating Being Single and Searching

By Joseph Snider

Have you ever found yourself questioning what the meaning of life was, or rather you were meant to do something, but it never seems to work out for you? Have you found yourself asking the question,” Can I be a Christian and date?” May be you’ve just decided to give up on the whole relationship and dating thing; you’ve decided to live your life as a celibate, devoted, and purpose driven single. If you have chosen that lifestyle, go for it, but for those of us, who want to traverse the dangers and hazards of single dating life, strive for holiness, get married, and find the right “one”, these seven points may help point you in the right direction.
Please don’t get me wrong choosing to remain single is not a negative thing. But I honestly have not heard a lot of Christian Single Groups discussing how to successfully navigate the dating or searching scene in a healthy and (holy) way. Let me also be clear that these points are not just for the searching singles, but can even be of some help to individuals who have had a difficult time letting go of a hurtful past. I don’t stand before you as a man who has it all figured out. I don’t stand before you as a perfect man; absent of struggle, and a sin free single life; rather I stand before you as a man trying to hear from God, live for Him, and get it right; even in being a Single, Searching, Christian.

Ok so I think I’ve provided a pretty good introduction. Let us jump write into these seven points.

The Points Are:

• 1. Let Go of Your Past
• 2. Don’t Be Afraid to Start Over
• 3. Love Yourself
• 4. Have Faith/Step Out On Faith
• 5. Remain Faithful to God’s Word
• 6. Try Something Different/Change Venues
• 7. Give God Your All

1. Let Go of Your Past- Philippians 3:13: “Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead,” How many people have learned that nothing good has come from holding on to the past? The only thing your past is supposed to do is to teach you, not to hinder you or chain you down. In dating or searching for the one, it is a good idea to accept what Christ has given us and that is freedom from our past. Don’t let an ex, your family, the enemy, or anyone else allow you to not walk in the freedom that Grace and Mercy has afforded those who accept the free Gift of Christ. I know for a fact or well from my own experience that you can’t move on or find the one if you’re still holding on to what was. Let it Go! Let him go! Let her go! Let it go! Just let it go!
2. Don’t Be Afraid to Start Over- Romans 8: 28: “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” Now please don’t think that I’m just using scriptures to purport my own agenda, rather look at it this way, God has allowed things to happen, and even though it may be hard to accept; it will work out for our good. I know starting over can be difficult, but look at what could have been your life if you stayed in the dangerous or poisonous relationship you were in. If you want to be Single in the City, you can’t be afraid to start over. Even if you don’t want to date or you want to remain single, don’t be afraid to trust God to start over from scratch or from a new position.
3. Love Yourself- Psalms 139:14: “I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous art thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.” This is an amazing feat for us to accomplish. We must battle between loving ourselves enough not to accept anything and not loving ourselves too much to where we become too arrogant or our own God. I’m a firm believer that you can’t be in any kind of romantic relationship if you can’t love you and the you God made you to be.
4. Have Faith/Step Out On Faith- II Corinthians 4:18: “While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal.” You will not be able to successfully be a searching single if you do not have faith. Again maybe you’re not searching for you husband or your wife, but you are searching for your place as an effective Christian Single. Whatever you’re searching for you can’t do it if you won’t step out on faith. Trusting God can be a very scary thing, especially when you’ve been hurt or disappointed. For those of us who are looking to be married, you can’t allow fear to rule over you. We have to have faith that God wants us to obtain the desires of our hearts, that he wants us to be happy, and that he truly blesses and favors the sanctity and sacredness of marriage. I believe that God still believes in love, romance, and marriage. I’ve been hurt, but faith, hope, and love; covers the searing wounds past relationships have caused.
5. Remain Faithful To God’s Word- Matthew 4:4: “But he answered and said, It is written, Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God.” This has been a great challenge for me in successfully navigating being a searching Christian single. You can’t pick and choose what part of God’s word you will be faithful too. Holiness means holiness; there is no in between for those who follow God’s word and believes in his Son. We have to be holy, even in searching for a mate or even living single. We have to live a righteous life and not depend on sex, alcohol, drugs, the flesh, being afraid of being alone, etc. Despite how it might seem that God is taking to long or that promised desire is not being fulfilled we must remain faithful to His Word. We remain faithful to His Word; He will be faithful and fulfill his promises.
6. Try Something Different/Change Venues- 2 Corinthians 5:17: “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold all things are become new.” Try something new and be creative in Jesus name.
7. Give God Your All- Matthew 22:37: “Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.” This point is the one that sums up all the points. If you want to become a Successful Single in the City, it is time for you to Love GOD WITH EVERYTHING YOU HAVE. I find it funny that WE can love a man or a woman who uses/abuses us, we can love the cares of this world, BUT we can’t love the one who gave us everything; including His Son. Like I said I don’t have everything together and maybe you haven’t found the first six points helpful. But I promise you this if you Give God Your All, He will Bless you. He will Provide for You, and Above All; He will See YOU THROUGH. Not just successfully navigating being Single in the City, but every aspect of your life, NO EVERY DIMENSION.