So journal it has been a very long time since you and I have sat and talked. I guess the biggest thing has been that I have been too busy to sit down at my computer and chat with you.

At this moment I have been really focused on my desire to achieve. I think to be very honest with you I have been really obsessed with achieving and truly afraid of failure. It is a real struggle for me when I fail, I guess being told most of my life that I will be nothing but a failure, my nature as an older child (sort of a perfectionist, sort of an overachiever,), and just my desire to prove people wrong. I hate to fail and when it happens I obsess over the failure and forget to get back on the road towards winning.

I don't want to fail and so that leads me to stop trying. I go no where and I end up stuck in this never ending cycle of failure and disappointment. I didn't pass my licensure exam three years ago and did not want to take it ever again. A play I wanted to put on did not go through and I stop doing plays for years. I had writers block for a book I wanted to write and so I trashed it and never went back to it.

You see my point right journal? I hate to fail. However I hate even more to be stagnate. I don't like complaining or feeling like everyone else is moving forward and I'm stuck. I can't afford this type of thinking anymore. I have a wife and a son now. I have to start building a future and a legacy for my children's children. I want to truly make something of myself. I'm tired of struggling or living pay check to pay check. I want more for my family and for myself. I know that I have to make moves. But the fear is very overwhelming.

So journal I can tell you this one thing I despise potty training. I will not go into a long drawn out story, but I will just say this I wish I knew how the first parents managed potty training. Someone has to tell me SOMETHING!

Anyway I hope you enjoy yourself and I hope you enjoyed reading this post!

So...

I think it is a good idea for every couple to set aside days to be romantic with each other. In this post I am going to offer suggestions and hopefully there will be many romantic moments with one another.

Plan a romantic day for each other at least once a month. Plan the day with different things to do like a movie, a nice lunch or picnic, maybe shopping together for nice romantic gifts, or gift exchanges. Or plan a romantic candle lit dinner at home together, turn on some sexy music to set the mood, and take a candle lit bath together. The most important thing about this suggestion is to make sure that you remember the day and you make sure you give each other your full undivided attention.

Do a couples massage either at a spa or right at home. I suggest you find some warming massage oils or you can also use baby oil as well. Again use the candle light and music to set the mood.

Go to a nice hotel for the weekend. If you have children please get a babysitter on retainer or start a baby sitting network amongst your married friends and trade nights with one another. Pick a hotel that has a nice pool, hot tub, or something unique you can do as a couple.

Go on a wine tour together or if you're really froggy go to wine camp where they teach you to cook with wine together, you do groups with other couples, and you have romantic dinners filled with you guessed it wine!

Whatever you do enjoy yourselves as a couple.

Happy Romantic Nights!

“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” – George Bernard Shaw

“It is greed to do all the talking but not to want to listen at all.” – Democritus

“An open ear is the only believable sign of an open heart.” — David Augsburger

"Sex is a part of nature. I go along with nature". -- Marilyn Monroe

“I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.” ― Woody Allen

“Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.”
― Mae West

Why in marriages and serious long-term relationships when things get rough two of the most important things end up leaving first. I know some people will disagree with me that sex isn't as important as communication; possibly they would put paying bills, or going out on dates, or even romance up there, but sex in my opinion is very important and it is always the first thing to go.

I ask this question because I truly believe in marriage that communication (I will put it first) and sex (intimacy, romance, and love is included) are very important to sticking and keeping the individuals together. I also believe a strong faith and foundation in God to not only seal, but also protect marriage/relationship is the most important.

So the question is why are they the first to go? 1.) God, 2.) Communication, and 3.) Sex; life comes up against the married couple and boom these things disappear. They are no longer in the forefront our our marriage and we end up perplexed as to why we are no longer in love, no longer infatuated, and more willing to separate or divorce.

Communication I believe is the only way that two distinct and different individuals will be able to understand a learn about one another. Effective communication builds intimacy, develops understanding, shares ideas, deepens feelings, and helps individuals navigate life on each others' terms and not the terms of their individual selves. You don't throw away communication when you're upset with one another or things are rough; those are the times when communication should increase.

I also find it hard to make a plea for the importance of sex because of how we view it. I believe sex is solely viewed as an act of pleasure, a period of release, a conquest, a chore; how can I plead my case, especially for marriages when sex is just looked at as a means to an end or a chore? Sex is pleasurable, but it isn't just for pleasure. Sex is a release, but it shouldn't just be selfishly used to get a release. Sex should lead to intimacy, increase the love you have, build connection, and especially provide pleasure. Sex, if the couple is ready and prepared should lead to children as well. (Only if you're ready for the responsibility of children.)

God gave us sex as a gift. We should appreciate the gift that we have. For those of us who have been raised in Christianity have been told that we should wait to have sex until we are married. We get married and we either dishonor the gift of marriage or we don't have sex at all. I believe we have to do much better.

So again I ask you why is sex and communication the first to go? Let's stop and think about it.

Hebrews 11: 1- Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

I have learned that faith is not hoping, but faith is knowing! Faith is having complete trust that God has our best interest in mind, that He wants what is best for us, that we know He will do just want He said he would do, and that we trust Him with our very being.

I am learning that faith has to be complete trust. You can't pray and then doubt. That is backwards thinking. Why would you want to drive your car forward, but keep the gear in reverse? You have to pray and move forward. Faith is not just praying and leaving it be, but there must be a forward movement on your part. That is where faith meets trust!

Here is the formula I came up with: James 2:26-- For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also. (Forward Moving Faith) + Matthew 6:30-- But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today exists, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, won't he much more clothe you, you of little faith? (Complete Trust in God) = John 14:13-- And whatsoever ye shall ask in my name, that will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. (Answered Prayers and Blessings).

Faith + Trust = God Moving

And the equation works the other way around as well:

Trust + Faith= God Moving

Let us stop moving backward and proclaiming that we believe in Jesus Christ. He said Ask, Seek, and Knock and you shall receive.

I am ready to receive. I am ready to move forward!