Why Is Sex and Communication the First to Go?

“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” – George Bernard Shaw

“It is greed to do all the talking but not to want to listen at all.” – Democritus

“An open ear is the only believable sign of an open heart.” — David Augsburger

"Sex is a part of nature. I go along with nature". -- Marilyn Monroe

“I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.” ― Woody Allen

“Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.”
― Mae West

Why in marriages and serious long-term relationships when things get rough two of the most important things end up leaving first. I know some people will disagree with me that sex isn't as important as communication; possibly they would put paying bills, or going out on dates, or even romance up there, but sex in my opinion is very important and it is always the first thing to go.

I ask this question because I truly believe in marriage that communication (I will put it first) and sex (intimacy, romance, and love is included) are very important to sticking and keeping the individuals together. I also believe a strong faith and foundation in God to not only seal, but also protect marriage/relationship is the most important.

So the question is why are they the first to go? 1.) God, 2.) Communication, and 3.) Sex; life comes up against the married couple and boom these things disappear. They are no longer in the forefront our our marriage and we end up perplexed as to why we are no longer in love, no longer infatuated, and more willing to separate or divorce.

Communication I believe is the only way that two distinct and different individuals will be able to understand a learn about one another. Effective communication builds intimacy, develops understanding, shares ideas, deepens feelings, and helps individuals navigate life on each others' terms and not the terms of their individual selves. You don't throw away communication when you're upset with one another or things are rough; those are the times when communication should increase.

I also find it hard to make a plea for the importance of sex because of how we view it. I believe sex is solely viewed as an act of pleasure, a period of release, a conquest, a chore; how can I plead my case, especially for marriages when sex is just looked at as a means to an end or a chore? Sex is pleasurable, but it isn't just for pleasure. Sex is a release, but it shouldn't just be selfishly used to get a release. Sex should lead to intimacy, increase the love you have, build connection, and especially provide pleasure. Sex, if the couple is ready and prepared should lead to children as well. (Only if you're ready for the responsibility of children.)

God gave us sex as a gift. We should appreciate the gift that we have. For those of us who have been raised in Christianity have been told that we should wait to have sex until we are married. We get married and we either dishonor the gift of marriage or we don't have sex at all. I believe we have to do much better.

So again I ask you why is sex and communication the first to go? Let's stop and think about it.