Sex can be very exciting and fun. Sex can also be very awkward and confusing. Sex can sometimes just be downright upsetting or even traumatic. No matter what you think about sex or whatever rules you have concerning it, I believe that everyone has had the desire to have a great sexual experience at least once in their lives.
I truly think that we have squandered such an amazing gift; through over commercializing sex, perverting sex, and taking the fun out of sex through selfish gain or rigid thinking. Whatever the case may be, I want to give you 10 steps on how to possibly have the best sex of your life.
Step 1: Let Go of Guilt and Shame
Letting go of guilt and shame is the first step and probably the most important step to reaching the great sex mark. I am a Christian, so I definitely believe in sex in marriage. I did not always follow this discipline to be very honest and I have held on to a lot of guilt and shame. For a lot of Christians this guilt and shame has spilled over into their marriages and has hindered their ability to fully enjoy and embrace the sexual experience between the two that have now become one. We have to change our mindset about sex and sexuality and not always place it in good vs. bad category. Guilt and shame are weights that should be cast off.
I want to note that I am referring to healthy sexual exploration between two consenting adults; these two adults have agreed to have sex with one another. Now you can decide whether you'll wait until you are married, but I think if the sex being had between two adults, consenting adults, adults that understand and comprehend the consequences in engaging in sex; that they can only fully enjoy it if it is absent of guilt and shame. Guilt and shame prevents us from being able to have healthy communication concerning our sexual needs and desires, and fully embracing the sexual fulfillment of our partner or significant other.
Step 2: Embrace that Sex is a Beautiful Gift
Sex is a gift! There is no other way to describe such a powerful activity that often seems to transcend the natural and spiritual realms simultaneously; the gift that often leaves us wanting more. Our perception of a gift often plays a major role on how we will treat that gift. If you view your gift as something you will treasure and love; you will cherish that gift and you will use that gift to the best of your ability. You will discover new ways to explore your gift, use that gift, and enjoy every aspect of that gift. So let us look at sex as a beautiful gift and treat it as such.
Step 3: Be Open about Your Wants and Needs with Your Partner
If you can reach step one and embrace step two, step three will begin to be a breeze to you. This step right here is why so many people struggle with truly enjoying sex to the fullest extent. Your significant other, spouse, or partner should really be able to talk to you and share openly what they want from and get out of the sexual experience with you. Even if you're not willing to make all of their sexual fantasies come true, they should at least be able to talk to you about them. The other thing that couples should be open about are what they like and dislike in bed without fear.
Step 4: Learn Your Own Body and Desires
I won't go into too much detail about this step, but I will say this. If you hate your own body, the way you look, or you feel so ashamed about sex and even feel ashamed about enjoying the sexual experience; how do you expect someone else to be able to explore your body and desires? I'm not saying that you have to go around sneaking off to touch your "naughty bits" (LOL), but I am saying that you should know what works for you and what doesn't. Study you!
Step 5: Treasure Your Partner's Body and Pleasure
One of the many keys to having an amazing sexual experience with your partner is letting go of being selfish or just using their body as a way to just "get yours." Instead if you treasure your partner's body and attend to their pleasure; just as much as they should attend to your pleasure, things should be great for you both. Remember how we view something dictates how we will well or unwell we will treat something. How do you treat your partner's body?
Step 6: Be Patient and Kind
You can't possibly believe that someone will embrace the sexual experience fully if they always feel pressured by you?! Pressured to have sex with you, pressured to please you, pressured to try new things, or pressured to climax; how do you expect them to enjoy themselves or even enjoy having sex with you. Patience and Kindness goes a long way even during sex and the time building up to the sexual encounter.
Step 7: Avoid Selfishness
Um this is self-explanatory!
Step 8: Try Something New
I think being open to stepping outside of the norm is the only way you'll fully embrace the sexual experience with your partner. However, I again think that both people have to be comfortable, consent, and have rules that govern trying something new or exploring something new. Trying something new should not invoke feelings of guilt or shame, or make you fear getting arrested. Trying something new should be fun.
Step 9: Discover New Foreplay Ideas
Foreplay is so very important in the pregame round of having some of the best sex of your life. So try some blindfolding touch play, try body painting, or try a sexy board game that gets you in the mood. Remember on average it takes 7 minutes for a man to reach orgasm and 20 minutes for a woman to reach orgasm. So some foreplay can't hurt. Just know who needs the extra attention and who may a little attention. Don't want things to end early for some or never end for someone else.
Step 10: Have Fun
Sex is supposed to be fun! Not a chore or something to do just because you can do it. It should be fun and exciting. So have fun and enjoy each other, enjoy the guilt and shame free sex, embrace the beautiful gift, be open with your partner; have fun learning about you, treasure your partner, be patient and kind; have fun avoiding selfishness, trying something new, discover new four play ideas together, and enjoy.
I truly think that we have squandered such an amazing gift; through over commercializing sex, perverting sex, and taking the fun out of sex through selfish gain or rigid thinking. Whatever the case may be, I want to give you 10 steps on how to possibly have the best sex of your life.
Step 1: Let Go of Guilt and Shame
Letting go of guilt and shame is the first step and probably the most important step to reaching the great sex mark. I am a Christian, so I definitely believe in sex in marriage. I did not always follow this discipline to be very honest and I have held on to a lot of guilt and shame. For a lot of Christians this guilt and shame has spilled over into their marriages and has hindered their ability to fully enjoy and embrace the sexual experience between the two that have now become one. We have to change our mindset about sex and sexuality and not always place it in good vs. bad category. Guilt and shame are weights that should be cast off.
I want to note that I am referring to healthy sexual exploration between two consenting adults; these two adults have agreed to have sex with one another. Now you can decide whether you'll wait until you are married, but I think if the sex being had between two adults, consenting adults, adults that understand and comprehend the consequences in engaging in sex; that they can only fully enjoy it if it is absent of guilt and shame. Guilt and shame prevents us from being able to have healthy communication concerning our sexual needs and desires, and fully embracing the sexual fulfillment of our partner or significant other.
Step 2: Embrace that Sex is a Beautiful Gift
Sex is a gift! There is no other way to describe such a powerful activity that often seems to transcend the natural and spiritual realms simultaneously; the gift that often leaves us wanting more. Our perception of a gift often plays a major role on how we will treat that gift. If you view your gift as something you will treasure and love; you will cherish that gift and you will use that gift to the best of your ability. You will discover new ways to explore your gift, use that gift, and enjoy every aspect of that gift. So let us look at sex as a beautiful gift and treat it as such.
Step 3: Be Open about Your Wants and Needs with Your Partner
If you can reach step one and embrace step two, step three will begin to be a breeze to you. This step right here is why so many people struggle with truly enjoying sex to the fullest extent. Your significant other, spouse, or partner should really be able to talk to you and share openly what they want from and get out of the sexual experience with you. Even if you're not willing to make all of their sexual fantasies come true, they should at least be able to talk to you about them. The other thing that couples should be open about are what they like and dislike in bed without fear.
Step 4: Learn Your Own Body and Desires
I won't go into too much detail about this step, but I will say this. If you hate your own body, the way you look, or you feel so ashamed about sex and even feel ashamed about enjoying the sexual experience; how do you expect someone else to be able to explore your body and desires? I'm not saying that you have to go around sneaking off to touch your "naughty bits" (LOL), but I am saying that you should know what works for you and what doesn't. Study you!
Step 5: Treasure Your Partner's Body and Pleasure
One of the many keys to having an amazing sexual experience with your partner is letting go of being selfish or just using their body as a way to just "get yours." Instead if you treasure your partner's body and attend to their pleasure; just as much as they should attend to your pleasure, things should be great for you both. Remember how we view something dictates how we will well or unwell we will treat something. How do you treat your partner's body?
Step 6: Be Patient and Kind
You can't possibly believe that someone will embrace the sexual experience fully if they always feel pressured by you?! Pressured to have sex with you, pressured to please you, pressured to try new things, or pressured to climax; how do you expect them to enjoy themselves or even enjoy having sex with you. Patience and Kindness goes a long way even during sex and the time building up to the sexual encounter.
Step 7: Avoid Selfishness
Um this is self-explanatory!
Step 8: Try Something New
I think being open to stepping outside of the norm is the only way you'll fully embrace the sexual experience with your partner. However, I again think that both people have to be comfortable, consent, and have rules that govern trying something new or exploring something new. Trying something new should not invoke feelings of guilt or shame, or make you fear getting arrested. Trying something new should be fun.
Step 9: Discover New Foreplay Ideas
Foreplay is so very important in the pregame round of having some of the best sex of your life. So try some blindfolding touch play, try body painting, or try a sexy board game that gets you in the mood. Remember on average it takes 7 minutes for a man to reach orgasm and 20 minutes for a woman to reach orgasm. So some foreplay can't hurt. Just know who needs the extra attention and who may a little attention. Don't want things to end early for some or never end for someone else.
Step 10: Have Fun
Sex is supposed to be fun! Not a chore or something to do just because you can do it. It should be fun and exciting. So have fun and enjoy each other, enjoy the guilt and shame free sex, embrace the beautiful gift, be open with your partner; have fun learning about you, treasure your partner, be patient and kind; have fun avoiding selfishness, trying something new, discover new four play ideas together, and enjoy.
