Let me inform you now that there is nothing, NOTHING you can do to MAKE him ask you the question. Don't beat me up I'm just telling the truth. I'm trying to help all of us understand that MARRIAGE is a big step; a blessing, a joy, a commitment, but it is also work, an investment, and a covenant...so it shouldn't be entered into lightly. Again you can't make a man ask you or threaten; although the latter has worked for some, but PURE, amazing, and an extension of your man's love and devotion for you is when he asks you out of his heart.

What you can do is be who you are, be a FRIEND to them, if you're in love with them SHOW them, if you want a husband; prepare to be a wife (not cooking, cleaning, or sexing them; no you have to spend time learning the innate things to becoming a wife; nurturing, a concerned woman of prayer and devotion, sacrificial, loving, kind, soft, thoughtful, conversational, PROVERBS 31, how to let your man lead, how to be supportive without emasculating your man, Godly, etc....), you have to set standards BEFORE you begin to date someone. Let the man know before you begin a relationship with them that YOU'RE LOOKING TO BE MARRIED, OR that YOU'RE not trying to JUST DATE SOMEONE. So you have to learn how to set standards and get with someone who is going in the same direction. (You will realize that if you get with someone who is on that track towards marriage you'll see what you need to see in them and them in you; when you both don't see those things you will move on and it won't hurt so bad when you do end it.)

The thing most men are looking for is someone they can call their companion. That they can trust them with their most intimate and vulnerable secrets and person with. Can you be that woman?

I'm trying to tell you ladies that giving a man the freakiest, nastiest, downright no holds barred SEX will not have them ask you to be their wife. (Now it will make them keep you around for a while or put you on the list as their sideline hoe, but for most men THIS is not the deciding factor for them.) So let me save you some guilt and shame here; also some embarrassment later on. If I'm wrong ask yourself how many times you've been the woman in the streets and the FREAK in the bed and YOU STILL DON'T HAVE A RING ON YOUR FINGER???? If I'm wrong someone let me know.

Finally ladies just stop with the tricks, the flips, and the manipulation to get your husband. Just learn to wait and be patient. If you are in a relationship and have been in it for a long time; have the discussion with your man about your thoughts and feelings. Then make the decision if you're willing to wait; if you love them you will wait, but if not you'll find your one. Better yet let him find you; you're a treasure.

Remember to visit my blog, review it, comment, subscribe, and help me become famous!

joe4christ.blogspot.com

jwriter

I have had the pleasure of having an interesting conversation with more than one woman on this subject. It seems to be a growing concern for a lot of single women out there. The questions they ask are: Why won't he marry me? How will I know he is ready? What can I do to get him to ask? These are amazing questions and hopefully I can provide some insight to your questions.

Let me start off by saying that every man is different and so I can't just generalize this based on my experience, but I will try to give theories as to why men won't pop the question to you lady. So let's start with the obvious: "Maybe he doesn't want to marry you because he only looks at you as a girlfriend or sex buddy." This is the obvious reason he has not asked you because you're not the one he wants to take that step with, but he also isn't ready to move on from what you guys have. So now the question is whether you're willing to stay around to see the outcome or if you're content with just being the girlfriend or the sex buddy.

Another reason could be that he is simply not ready to take that next step. Whatever the reason maybe for this phenomenon; forcing him, making hints, ultimatums, etc will not make him change his mind. A lot of women say that we have been together for two to three years...(Time is not a factor for most men. When a man purposes in his heart or knows that you are the one he wants to marry; he will not hesitate, he will plan, he will ask, and you will know.) So again time is not the deciding factor; it may be that they just need to learn something, financial reasons, ego dysfunctions, fear, etc. So give them time and space, he will definitely let you know he is ready to marry you.

If you like what you've read so far... take a look at part two in a few moments.

Thanks and remember to visit, read, review, comment and subscribed to my blog @ joe4christ.blogspot.com

jwriter

God I wonder what the rain is for. Why do you cause the skies to shed it's heavenly tears on this Earth? Are the drops of rain your tears God? Are the drops of rain the anguish that You feel; for our sins and the grief we have caused You? It is so silly of me to try to put You and the Miracle of water falling from the sky into a simple finite box. The rain is one of the mysteries of your Omnipotent power. Who else can cause the rain to fall and the sun to shine at the same time? Who can make it rain on one side of the street and dry on the next? Who else can close up the skies for years on one side of the world and cause endless rain on the other side?

We often cry because the rain has ruined our day or drenched our best clothes. But what of the times when men knew nothing of rain? When men were awed by this awesome occurrence. They only knew the water that laid on the bounty of Mother Earth. They were amazed by the rain and even feared it at time, but unlike them we do not reverence Your awesome power; we try to beat it or we wish it away.

Today as I was able to think about You, I sat in the rain and let it touch me. It cooled my skin and made me feel that I could touch some Holy part of who You are. I know it sounds silly, but I am but a man. Unrighteous and an unholy man, who is unable to appreciate You for who You are; needing more than just Your Word to believe you are REAL at times. So I danced in Your rain and I hid my tears in the midst of them.

I am sad for my people and for the children of this time. We need You to cleanse this world with Your gentle rain and to cleanse the sins of our generation.

Let the Rain Fall.

"Baby I've been unhappy for a very long time and I have to say that we knew that our relationship was coming to an end. We can't work it out because I'm in love with someone else."

"I don't love you anymore. I'm in love with another man or woman"

"We can't be together because I love someone else. It's me not you."

Have you ever had to hear these words? Has you're heart ever been broken by your lover or significant other telling you these words or maybe you're the person who has said these words. To the person who has said these words I have one thing to say: END THE RELATIONSHIP BEFORE FALLING IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE ELSE. You may not be able to help who you love, but you can at least end the relationship you're in first before falling for someone else.

To the one who had to hear this and was somehow expected to just deal with this I want to help you at least ease the pain or walk towards recovery with this Relationships Talk post. So here we go...

The FIRST thing you have to do is to acknowledge that they are in love with someone else. Don't try to rationalize it or deny that they are just upset or confused; most times if they have told you this then they are in love with someone else. Acknowledgement is always the first step to recovery. (I'm not saying that you can't fight for them if that is what you want to do, but acknowledging the truth may help you see clearly.)

The NEXT thing to do is to refrain from blaming yourself. OK so the relationship had it's problem or things were on the rocks; but solving the problem is the key, or ending the relationship, or going to see a counselor; anything but getting into another relationship or FALLING IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE ELSE!!!! Sometimes when we don't understand something in our relationship or the one we love wants to leave; we blame ourselves, "it's all my fault" or "I didn't love you enough," but the truth is no matter what you did or didn't do; they decided to go to someone else, instead of facing you and ending it, rather then falling for another person. (To fall in love takes time and investment; so it didn't just happen over night.) I do believe that you can PUSH people away, but it is always their choice to get with someone else.
So don't blame yourself.

The THIRD thing that you should consider doing is letting go. Let them have their time away and you take your time to ask some important questions. The biggest question being if you can take them back if they ask to come back. Letting go is important for you so that you can see what you need to learn from this craziness; what you can do differently next time, whether you want them back, and whether it is time for you to enjoy your singleness. This isn't the time for you to BLAME yourself or to waste it being angry, but the first step to you healing. (Stay off their Facebook page, calling them or texting them all the time, or stalking them LOL).

Honestly you have to do whatever you need to do to get through this, but the most important thing to do is not to blame yourself and to try really hard to let go.

Being in love is very unpredictable, but I believe that if someone LOVES you truly they can't fall in love with someone else. Remember it takes time and investment to FALL IN LOVE with someone.

We just talking about relationships.

joe4christ.blogspot.com

So journal it has been awhile since I've spoken to you. It has been an amazing few weeks. The biggest part of it all is that I've gotten my own place. Having my own place is truly a blessing from God; nothing I've done or anything I deserve to have this opportunity. I have to first give thanks to God, to my parents who raised me and helped me get to this point, and to everyone who has been a constant encouragement to me.

So I love having my own place. It is a peacefulness I can't explain, but also it helps me to feel like I've taken the next step to walking into adulthood; feeling like a man. I'm not prideful because I know I didn't do it on my own, but I definitely feel good about being able to sign a lease and get the keys to an apartment. You know God willing it doesn't stop here and one day I will get the keys to a house...but for now I'm very excited about being able to come home, blog, watch TV, cook dinner if I want, eat leftovers, sip on some Moscato, or just sit back and relax.

The best part of having my own place is having a clean BATHROOM!!! Oh the best part of this is having a clean BATHROOM. Sweet peace is so awesome. I'm very exciting about being able to have a clean bathroom and keeping it clean. Anyway I'm hoping to take full advantage of having my own place, of taking time to study, to get better at cooking, to grow up a little more, and oh yeah pay bills. LOL

So...I'm looking forward to this next step in my life and I hope that you guys will take this journey with me. Tell everyone you know about this blog, follow, subscribe, read, and comment.

So...

"For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?"- Mark 8:36

"For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?"- Matthew 16:26

What can you give in exchange for your soul? Will you trade your soul for fame or fortune? For riches or money? What is the soul and the price for it? The Bible presents an interesting question to us.

I don't know the answer, but what I do know is that I decided to give my soul to someone who will honor it and cherish it. Who will protect it and I gave it too Him freely. It didn't cost me a thing and He didn't steal it from me. I gave it to Jesus Christ the Son of the True and Living God.

I don't know what would happen if you sell your soul or exchange it, but I do know what will happen if you give it to Christ. The Bible says that, "God so loved the world that He GAVE His only Son, that WHOEVER believes in Him WILL NOT PERISH, BUT WILL have EVERLASTING LIFE," John 3:16. That is a promise.

Does that mean life on Earth will be easy? No, but it will be a little easier to bare. It will still bring you heartache and pain, but you will have comfort and someone who you can confide in and cast your cares upon. Unconditional Love and Forgiveness. Nonjudgmental and Merciful. These are the things I can promise you and most of all a Choice. What will you choose?

"For the wages of SIN is DEATH, BUT the gift of God is Eternal Life through Jesus Christ our Lord." Romans 6:23

jwriter

And no I'm not talking about the cyclical process of the rotation of the Earth around the Sun; nor am I referring to the cycle that women come on every month for 3 to 7 days, and I'm not talking about the cycle of teenage pregnancy, cycle of poverty, and I'm not talking about the cycle of abuse that may manifest itself in those who have been abused; no I'm talking about the cycle of slight depression or frustration that I often experience.

Sometimes I feel so lost and I often beat myself up because I'm not as successful as I planned on being or hoped to be. I don't do it often, but sometimes I end up comparing myself to the success of others or the triumphs. I fight so hard not to do this though because I know it won't do me any good, but then something is said to me or I'm criticised and I end up right back in the same cycle. It seems that sometimes no matter how hard I've been working or how much I've tried to stay on my grind; people find some way to make me feel like I should be doing more; and I take it and truly beat myself up over it.

I can't blame people for my self-loathing attitude or blame them for thinking me a failure. I don't think I'm a failure, but I'm always saying to myself that I need to do more. But the truth is I'm tired. I'm not saying I want to be stuck in one place, but right now I just want to take a break. I've been grinding strong for years and trying so hard to not be the nothing nigga (excuse me) people have said I would be, or another statistic, a baby daddy, or just like my daddy, or whatever else people have tried to place on me.

I will go strong for days, months, years even; to prove to myself and to the world that I can make something of myself, but then someone says one thing and it sets me on my path of over criticising myself and living in self-fulfilling prophecies and I am tired. I will make something of myself and I won't be trapped in the box that people have tried to put me in. I will be successful and I won't keep walking in this cycle. I have the power already within me and I can do anything I set my mind to do. I just wish people had a little empathy and could look at things from my perspective. But why expect anything from people except to expect to be disappointed by them. It is what it is, but the cycle will one day end. For now I have to bleed and hope for menopause.

j/k

joe4christ.blogspot.com