Unmet Needs equals Frustration is a chart that I use with my clients who are unable to express their frustration in a positive, healthy, and constructive matter. We develop a chart of all their needs, goals, and wants; write down what happens when those needs are not met, frustration/anger rating on a scale of one to ten, and then how those needs can be met.
After much practice and teaching some of my clients are able to express clearly what needs they want met and how they or another person can meet them. This is what we should all be able to do; express our needs in a positive way and to let ourselves, loved ones, and romantic interest know how they can meet our needs. No one is a mind reader and can't meet your needs if they don't know what they are or how to meet them.
We also need to remember that no one can meet every need every time and learn how to either find a healthy way to meet the need on our own or to be patient with the person to meet our need. Clear, concise, and positive communication is the best way to express need and the best way to make sure needs are met.
Remember meeting needs are important, but how you express your needs will determine how those needs will be met!
Go for it!
Meeting Needs
Joseph is a Licensed Graduate Social Worker in the Washington, DC area. Joseph is the author of the forthcoming book “Love Me Right or Not at All”, A Quick Guide to Loving Yourself and Others the Healthy Way. This book seeks to assist everyone who reads it to love with balance and give love to the right people. Joseph is striving to become an expert in the practice of relationship empowerment. He strives to build healthy, powerful, and well-balanced relationships in the lives of everyone who seeks after the knowledge, values, and skills Joseph has honed over the last ten years. Joseph is an aspiring Marriage and Family Therapist, but to also travel around the nation and hopefully the world, to spread the message that relationships can be simple, yet amazing if you put in the work. Relationships are vital to the human experience and often shape our mindsets, our personalities, and our environments. Knowing this, Joseph works to encourage not only those who believe in his skills, but also works passionately to build his knowledge and skills in the area of relationships to present the best of who he is both personally and professionally.
2 comments:
But with if their needs are impossible to meet? What if the decide that I can't meet them? I just can't understand why you have to tell people what your needs are if they love you they should know or they should ask. That's just my opinion.
First I think the biggest mistake with meeting needs is, we often enter relationship with expectations of or needs being met. This is a true fail. We need to learn to make ourselves happy and stop giving the power of our happiness to someone else. Because when they do not fulfill you, you feel that a need or your need wasn't met or validated.
Try to see yourself a as a whole person. Look at yourself as beautiful, handsome, intelligent. Feel that you have something to give as well as gain in the relationship. When this is done you tend to understand each other. You both are confident in pleasing each other and needs are met without struggle or misunderstanding.
This fuels passion, romance, love and trust.
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