Darkness in Sight

There are moments when I become consumed by an overwhelming sense of darkness. It seems that it comes and completely suffocates me. It is strange however that I don't feel bad or fearful when this darkness covers me. It isn't necessarily "evil" or "dangerous", but I equate it to darkness for me because it is when it is dark that I dream and I am able to reflect. I used to try to avoid the darkness; I didn't want to reflect, I didn't want to dream, but like falling asleep when you're exhausted, I sleep and reflect in the darkness most times without warning.

Reflection for me often brings depression. I find myself fighting through old pain or deep regret. I spent many years trying to find who I was, many years trying to prove that I am what I say I am, and not caring what people said or thought about me. Everything that has stung me, that has hurt me, that has tried to break me; everything is reflected upon when the "darkness" comes. I have no control of when it comes and I have tried to stop it from coming. How do you stop your growth period? How do you stop what is needed to help you grow?

Is this darkness fun? No this darkness is not fun. Is this darkness all bad? No it isn't all bad. Through the tears;
a river of tears consistently flowing whenever I'm reflecting, through the tears I find strength. I find new strength and I find the ability to dream lucidly even during the dark times.

I want to encourage those who read this during your reflection period to learn something from it. It is possible that you don't call your reflection period the darkness, but when your "darkness" is in sight embrace it and see what you must learn.