Perfection vs Process: How Do You Solve for Healthy?

It is amazing how we enter into relationships full of hope and excitement. I don't think that it is a bad thing that we want to be in love or to be in a relationship. I do however feel that we have been doing it incorrectly. We have held tightly to fixed beliefs about relationships and we want the finish line, but we don't want to have anything to do with the process.

The biggest mistake that we make is that we can't acknowledge that 95 percent of the time two UNHEALTHY people enter into a relationship EXPECTING for the relationship to be HEALTHY. How do we come up with this type of math? I was never good at math in school anyway so I understand how I came to this answer, but what is your excuse?

UH= Unhealthy H= Healthy

UH + UH = UH not UH + UH= H

So what is missing from the equation? How can two unhealthy people make a healthy relationship.

x= unknown variable

It is what most of us run from and that is the process. The process will take us further in our relationships before an unrealistic expectation that we can be unhealthy (often times we can't help that), we can stay unhealthy (we can do something about that, but often times we choose not to), and that we will make a healthy relationship (most times the relationship is manageable at best).

We need the process. The process includes acknowledging that something is wrong or that we have issues in ourselves that we need to address individually, issues we need to address as a couple, and be patient with helping one another grow to healthy. That is a process and without the process we are just trying to make an incorrect equation work.

UH + UH= UH

UH + UH + X= H

So how do you solve for X? You have to put Process into the equation.

P= Process

UH + UH + P= H

Don't strive for perfection in your relationships stroll with the process.