Perfection vs Process in Relationships

"Stop trying to find perfection in your spouse and appreciate the process!” #marriageadvice, Joseph Snider

I originally tweeted this statement on my fan relationship advice Twitter Page: @relationshipjw to married couples, but I wanted to write this post to everyone in relationships. It is so very important in our intimate relationships, and maybe even our friendships, that we don't forget that building and maintaining a relationship is hard work. We should understand that it is not only hard work, but also a process. 

In relationships, most of us become enamored with the idea of being with someone and the desire for the relationship to be like something out of a fairy tale. To be honest there are some people that get the chance to live the fairy tale life; those people sicken me to no end (insert playful laughter here because I'm joking), well they do just a little bit. The only reason I'm envious of those individuals because in every intimate relationship, including my own marriage, I have had to work and work very hard. So for most of us we have had to work hard for that image of the "perfect" relationship and when our relationships or our significant others don't live up to that perfection, we feel that our relationship has failed in some way, or that we have failed in some way. 

I want to encourage you to change your perspective right now if you think this way. I have thought this way and it has made my relationships more difficult. As a matter of fact I gained clarity on the process of relationships by realizing first that my wife is not perfect, that I am not perfect, and that building a strong and amazing relationship is a process. Once I discovered this perspective, I was able to let my wife be herself and I could see her growth, her sacrifice, her love, her strengths, her limitations; I could see the process ever so clearly, and I could appreciate the important things about my wife and our marriage. I could appreciate how beautiful she is and how wonderful it was to be with her because I wasn't striving for us to be perfect. 

It truly is a process to be in a relationship and try to build something amazing. If we can stop being so caught up in trying to be like the next relationship or the next couple, we won't miss the important moments in our relationships. I don't want to miss anything else in my marriage. 

I don't want you to miss anything else in your relationships as well. 

In the next few posts I will continue to discuss more on Perfection vs Process in Relationships so we can discover together how to not miss the process. 

Keep reading!