What is communication?
•“Communication is at the heart of intimate human relationships, it is literally the foundation on which all else is built,” David H. Olson.
•Olson and Defrain describes communication as being the way “humans create and share meaning, but verbally and non-verbally,” (p.106)
Communication is needed to gain an understanding and knowledge of the wants, the needs, and the desires of another person.
Communication is needed in order for the other person to gain an understanding and knowledge of your wants, your needs, and your desires.
Positive
Communication:
ØSharing feelings
ØGiving compliments
ØAvoiding blame
ØBeing able to compromise
Positive listening skills involve empathy and giving feedback
Speaking skills include speaking for oneself instead of speaking for others
Effective Communication takes practice!
Effective Communication is putting forth the work to be solution-focused, rather than placing blame!
Effective Communication is not just interpersonal, but intrapersonal as well!
Effective Communication makes everyone a winner!
Assertive communication- involves the expression of thoughts, feelings, and desires as one’s right as an individual. (You Want To Be An Assertive Communicator)
Passive communication- is characterized by an unwillingness to say what one thinks, feels, or wants.
Aggressive Communication- aims to hurt or put down another person and to protect the self-esteem of the aggressor.
Positive and Negative Communication Cycles- Olson & Defrain
Positive Cycle:
Assertiveness- is a person’s ability to express his or her feelings and desires to a partner.
Self-confidence- is a measure of how a person feels about themselves and the ability to control things in their life.
Assertiveness = Self-confidence
Negative Cycle:
Avoidance- is a person’s tendency to minimize issues and a reluctance to deal with issues directly.
Partner Dominance- is the degree to which a person feels his or her partner tries to be controlling and dominant in their relationship.
Avoidance = Partner Dominance
Refuse to fight dirty.
Resist giving the silent treatment.
Focus on the issue and focus on the present.
Call “time out” and “foul”
Use humor and comic relief.
Always go for closure.
Don't Ignore
Learn to forgive and to let go.
I need to practice this...it's hard to do things the right way, but right is right and wrong is wrong.
Dating PTSD you can overcome it...
Dating PTSD-(04/19/2009)-Just Some Tips On Communication
By JoeDating PTSD-(04/19/2009)-Just Some Tips On Communication
Joseph is a Licensed Graduate Social Worker in the Washington, DC area. Joseph is the author of the forthcoming book “Love Me Right or Not at All”, A Quick Guide to Loving Yourself and Others the Healthy Way. This book seeks to assist everyone who reads it to love with balance and give love to the right people. Joseph is striving to become an expert in the practice of relationship empowerment. He strives to build healthy, powerful, and well-balanced relationships in the lives of everyone who seeks after the knowledge, values, and skills Joseph has honed over the last ten years. Joseph is an aspiring Marriage and Family Therapist, but to also travel around the nation and hopefully the world, to spread the message that relationships can be simple, yet amazing if you put in the work. Relationships are vital to the human experience and often shape our mindsets, our personalities, and our environments. Knowing this, Joseph works to encourage not only those who believe in his skills, but also works passionately to build his knowledge and skills in the area of relationships to present the best of who he is both personally and professionally.
2 comments:
What do you do when you want to talk but the other person doesn't want to talk anymore and is not in the mood???
LOL that's funny you asked that Anonymous lol, I think I just recently experienced that, anyway it is always best to clearly and I mean clearly explain to whomever your talking to that you really would like to table the discussion for a moment for you to calm down or collect yourself, remember (and I have to remember this too) remember that it is more than you having this discussion and that both people should come to a mutual agreement to end or table the discussion. It's unhealthy to ignore the person, state that you're not listening, that the conversation is no longer up for discussion (my favorite line, especially if I'm unhappy or hurt by the topic or the argument), and to complete avoid the argument or situation with no solution in site. Also remember that you are always learning about one another and some bumps and bruises are natural and will occur because you are learning. Nver make assumptions about the other person or their feelings, don't let petty things win over the great things in your relationship, and always make sure both of you come out as winners. Practice makes perfect. Hope this helps.
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