So...
I now hold a Master's degree and I have accomplished what many said I would not be able to do. I'm very proud of myself for not quitting or giving up, but now I'm stuck at the crossroad of finding a great job or wasting away behind the degree that promised me a future. OK I'm being dramatic, but honestly this is annoying. The applications, the interviews, but most of all the being broke. All of these things suck. But I'm thankful to God that he helped me get through this trying year and that both my parents got to see me walk across the stage; along with a very special Elder from my church who is very close to my heart, three of my best friends in the world, my siblings, and an interest.
It has also been a crazy few weeks...things are going well with the interest...she is amazing, but some old doors have been trying to re-open themselves...and believe me my blog readers I'm not one of those men that wait for old doors to re-open, nor am I one of those men who take advantage of vulnerable women or open opportunities, instead I bluntly, yet kindly, have told them that the opportunity has passed and I have an interest. (BUT WOMEN TODAY CAN BE VERY PERSISTENT, ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY WANT WHAT THEY SEEMINGLY CAN'T HAVE). Let's hope that they get the message and back off.
Speaking of dating/relationships I have recently been trying this new approach...put everything out on the table...that's right hold nothing back...show her the true me (if that's even humanly possible for us to do. I believe the human personality is about 20 to 30 layers of different characteristics, abilities, facial expressions, dialects, ways of responding, etc and that no matter how much we say we're real, honest, and "this is who I am" that for real we all suffer from DID (dissociative identity disorder or multiple personality disorder) and we can turn it on and off depending on the situation and the people around us. I say all that because I often wonder if it is truly possible for us to be completely who we are without fear of judgment, ridicule, or isolation; even around the people who are either just like you or whom you trust, or do we still have some degree of who we really are hidden away?!?! Just ponder that before continuing.
But my interest is seeing me in a way I've never shown to a woman I like or a woman I am dating. My interest is seeing my good and bad side, my sarcastic, blunt, and somewhat hurtful way of speaking, my attitude, my vulnerable side, my romantic nature, my love for music, poetry, books, debates, my hidden thoughts; basically everything about me that I normally hide. Shoot I think I'm crazy for being this open, for being this transparent, and for not hiding anything. I'm literally an open book and I can of go overboard sometimes with saying what's on my mind...blunt is an understatement, but this is the new approach I said I would take and this would prove whether or not a person really likes me for me or just their version of me that they like. (Joke: Honestly at this juncture of my life I'll be whatever the hell you want me to be LOL)
That was a joke.....
Also I'm wondering people how long does it take to truly understand that everything you may do or say in a relationship maybe a lie to get what you want? Do we ever really tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth? I don't know what the answer is for everyone else, but for the first time in my life...aside from a few small white lies (if there is a such thing as a small white lie) I have been completely, no holds barred, honest. And it scares the HELL out of me. Sorry I know I'm a Christian, but honestly it is scary. (I wanted to say something other than hell HONESTLY I DID). I don't know if she believes the things I say, but I'm telling the Internet world and everyone that reads this that I have never been this honest in my life!!!!!!! I haven't even been completely honest with God and HE KNOWS EVERYTHING ABOUT ME!!!! LOL!!!
I'm not even completely honest with myself...
So...
So...
Joseph is a Licensed Graduate Social Worker in the Washington, DC area. Joseph is the author of the forthcoming book “Love Me Right or Not at All”, A Quick Guide to Loving Yourself and Others the Healthy Way. This book seeks to assist everyone who reads it to love with balance and give love to the right people. Joseph is striving to become an expert in the practice of relationship empowerment. He strives to build healthy, powerful, and well-balanced relationships in the lives of everyone who seeks after the knowledge, values, and skills Joseph has honed over the last ten years. Joseph is an aspiring Marriage and Family Therapist, but to also travel around the nation and hopefully the world, to spread the message that relationships can be simple, yet amazing if you put in the work. Relationships are vital to the human experience and often shape our mindsets, our personalities, and our environments. Knowing this, Joseph works to encourage not only those who believe in his skills, but also works passionately to build his knowledge and skills in the area of relationships to present the best of who he is both personally and professionally.
2 comments:
Thanks for sharing this. I believe your approach is great! I've found the love of my life, its through your approach that we have been able to survive. From day one, we have both been completely open and honest with each other, good and bad, through all the many layers.
If a person is going to like you and be with you, they have to accept and at least like the person that you truly are, not the person that you appear to be.
And don't be afraid of this. As you allow your relationship to florish this way, you will learn alot about yourself as well. This is part of growth and maturity and it seems you are in that season right now considering you just finished your degree and transitioning into a new stage in your life.
Thank you Anonymous that was such an amazing comment. I read it twice. I hope that I am making the right choice in being 98% honest with my interest. I hope that this approach will yield great results as it has for you. Again thank you for your words which has provided me with further insight. Thank you.
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