Dating PTSD (12-7-09)- Running Into The Arms Of Another

Have you ever wonder how it worked when the person you're dating or in a relationship with, stated that you pushed them into the arms of another lover? Have you been the one who felt like they were pushed into the bed, the arms, the company, the companionship, and the love of someone else because you felt your "boo" pushed you there? If this is you or you have been the victim of this, then maybe you can help me shed some light on this phenomenon.

I often wonder if this is possible and if it is how can you avoid it?! Do you spend you're entire relationship, dating experience, or encounters with a person trying to avoid "pushing" them away from you and into the arms of another? I definitely feel that apart of this is an elaborate excuse for selfishness and cheating, while another part of me feels that in dating/relationships, we do reach a point where we alienate the ones we say we love and care for, we stop treating each other right, we get comfortable with forgetting what makes them smile, forgetting what makes them feel low, forgetting to be intimate with them, hurting them purposely; we make empty promises, saying sorry becomes a habit and not a sincere gesture of repentance; we don't tell them we care/love them, we set to high expectations on them and degrade them when they don't reach them; ultimately we do "push" them away and make it easy for someone else to get their attention.

While I have a belief that we can push people away, I can never accept the fact that someone cheats. It honestly isn't an excuse to cheat on someone. If you feel like someone is treating you wrong, not appreciating you, or abusing you; you either need to "assertively" communicate that to the person and not be "passive-aggressive" about it or you need to "LEAVE" before you do something you will regret. To the person that is doing the "pushing away" needs to recognize their actions and don't be fooled into believing that the person will stick around. Most times we "push" people away because we are unable to communicate what we are feeling or we are projecting our possible unresolved fears and past unresolved relationship issues onto the other person. Maybe you feel alienated by the person who you're "pushing" away and you need to open your mouth and talk to them about how you are feeling.

I believe if we make the decision to truly treat people the way we want to be treated, we can avoid these problems. To avoid this topic of Dating PTSD remember to 1. Communicate Assertively and Not Aggressively, 2. Deal with unresolved issues and deal with them openly/honestly, 3. Treat people the way you want to be treated, especially the one you're dating or in a relationship with, and finally 4. Don't be fooled into believing you can't push anyone into the arms of another.

Dating PTSD we can overcome it...