I Wish It Was Her

She is right there! She is right there! But I can't make a move! Biology is not creating chemistry. Psychological resistance is stronger than anything! She is amazing, has a smile out of this world, smart, funny, supportive, and kind. She is right there (wife material, proverbs 31 woman indeed, transparent, honest, wonderful) but it ain't clicking.

Is there no sexual connection, should that even be an option for a Christian man looking for a wife? What the hell could it be. I can't move my heart or my mind. It frustrates the hell out of me. Here is Ruth looking for her Boaz, but working in the fields without active searching. What the hell? It perplexes me, vexed spirit I have in my, confused and in a daze. I can't understand it...she is so close I can almost taste her, or think I can, or wish I could, or even dream, but no!

Am I so tainted by sex and lust and falling in love, I'm unable to be sensitive to the right one. What if my Eve is right before me; no apple or pomegranate, or grape, or forbidden fruit, but I don't want her? I can't take it! It pisses me off to know end. What the hell do you want? I want to break into a million pieces. Right in front of me, so amazing, but no biological chemistry is not ticking tocking clock is running away from me.

I wish on the star, third wish, genie lamp, anything that will grant my wish I wish tonight. I wish it was her.

Real talk

1 comments:

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