“Trust is like a vase.. once it's broken, though you can fix it the vase will never be same again.”--Unknown

"To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved.”
George MacDonald quotes

“I'm not upset that you lied to me, I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you”
Friedrich Nietzsche quotes

“We're never so vulnerable than when we trust someone - but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find love or joy” Walter Anderson quotes


A big part in the Dating PTSD we experience is whether or not we can trust someone. I have been there many times and found myself hurt by the person or people I trust or have trusted. Trust is one of the most powerful human capabilities, that is thoroughly fixed to your emotions. Trust is up there with Love, Faith, Hope, and Sacrifice; trust in my opinion strengthens your capacity to do the aforementioned actions and what intensity you'll carry them out.

I truly believe that is why God said, "Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding." Proverbs 3:5; He said this because He understood the power of trust and what it meant to have to protect and cultivate some one's trust. God also knew that we would be foolish/human enough to put our trust in others too freely.

We do this in Dating/Relationships and we do it too freely. I'm a firm believer that a relationship without trust can't stand for very long, but if it does it is seeded with much doubt, anger, confusion, and confrontation. So it is very important to know who you're giving your trust to and what to do to not lose your mind when someone breaks it.

1. Trust with Faith and Understanding- You have to believe in the man or the woman you're dating. Believe that they will not break your trust. Give them the opportunity to be trusted by you and have the understanding that people will make mistakes. If you have someone who is honest with you and is remorseful for hurting you, take the time to heal, and give them the trust and understanding again. Remember that you may be in their shoes one day. You can't say you're trusting someone if you do not give it you're all. Partial trust is no trust at all.

2. Be careful who you give your trust too- that is simple and start with God. He is truly the only being that you can give your trust too and TRUST that he will keep it safe. Make better observations of the people you date before giving your trust to them. Remember trust is a hard thing to get back once lost, so you just don't want to give it to a person because they look good or smell good. And you don't want to give it to them because they have a big bank account.

3. Begin to Heal- Some of us have been truly hurt by someone who has broken our trust and we have not healed yet. Most times we put brokenness on top of brokenness; thinking we will find healing, but we are only infecting the wound we have. Trust takes time to build and some times we develop a wall that prevents us from trusting others. Take the moment or the time to heal, seek help if you need it, but give it another go.

We have to be more careful in who we place our trust in and who we give our trust too.

That way we can avoid dating PTSD.

Dating PTSD we can overcome it...

I was sitting in church today and was just in a peaceful state of mind. I thought about a lot while sitting there and blogging. I was so amazed that I just felt good sitting there and even stealing moments to watch my pastor clean up and not wanting any help lol. I'm curious what God is thinking of me right now and I was wondering what I think of myself. I haven't been a very faithful child lately and I've been struggling with getting right with God.

The earthquake shook me, made me want to consider getting "saved" again, but it didn't shake me out of this stupor I'm in. I struggle, I struggle with getting to a place in Him that is safe and secure; it isn't that God isn't providing or willing, but I'm just not sure of what direction to go in anymore. I know I want to serve God with my all, but I'm selfishly trying to hold on to something that isn't more important than my love and relationship with God.

Jesus Christ I am glad that you died for me, rose from the dead, and is constantly, consistently, and concisely interceding at the throne of God on my behalf. I know that your prayers and the prayers of the faithful saints, have reached you and you're keeping me alive and well. I honestly feel like I put your sacrifice to waste with my actions and behaviors, but I hope you can forgive me.

God I pray in Jesus name that you will Guide me and lead me in the right direction. I want to serve you with everything I have and doing your will and way. Please forgive me of my sins Father and lead me to be a real and true follower of Christ; Loving you with all my heart, mind, and soul; loving my neighbor as I love myself, and being a light in this dark world. Thank you for your love and forgiveness. In Jesus Name I pray AMEN.

I was having a conversation about relationships with my friend and we were discussing that marriage still works. When she stated that marriage still works, I followed up with, "as long as they are willing to work at it," followed by, "and as long as they can work at it with the no matter what in mind." My friend laughed in a knowing way and stated, "yeah that no matter what part is the kicker."

We talked about the "no matter what" and I stated that I wish the no matter what wasn't so hard or difficult to handle. Then it hit me, you can't choose the intensity of your no matter what moments, you just have to make the decision to work at the relationship and stay true to your no matter what. If you feel like what has come your way was too much to handle and that you can't work at the no matter what, then reevaluating your commitment to the relationship maybe the next move.

What is your no matter what level of functioning in a relationship? Are you willing to stay in a relationship no matter what comes your way? This is a powerful question when asked to couples who have remained married for many years and are still happy. What was the no matter what moments, the moments they decided to stay even when things got tough.

Sometimes I do wish the no matter what came easy, but then what would you have to work at it for?

Some times we can be so ridiculous and selfish! I don't know why though? It is so amazing that we can't take the time to do for others!

I truly believe why we don't have healthy, amazing, and functional relationships stands on this principle: We don't make healthy decisions. We spend so much time trying to meet our own selfish needs and desires; we forget that when we enter into a relationship with someone else that they are a living, breathing, human being with feelings and needs too.

I think that the ones who are victims to cheating share some of the blame. I believe if you stop choosing the cheaters, than you'll stop the cycle of cheating in your life and eventually everyone will catch on and cheaters will stop prospering. Cheaters tell or show you who they really are, but you're so attracted or so in love, that you stay and they keep cheating. Why not choose healthy and choose someone who will not cheat on you?

I honestly believe that we have the power to save relationships and we can set worldwide standards if we decide to choose right and not what is wrong. Don't be sad over being cheated on or hurt if you continue to choose, date, or remain with a cheater. Listen dig deeper than just physical needs and desires and look at how the person will treat you and how they will get their own needs met. If someone shows you who they are BELIEVE THEM (Medea).

Just make better choices.

Women are beautiful and amazing beings and I absolutely adore them and their beauty, but man I'm so confused many times by them. But I have a solution soon

You're mad, but not that mad. You're speaking but not really speaking! You're up and down at the same time and I just need a xanax ladies!

I get that communication is important and that honesty is top priority, but even with those keys I still find myself confused or left in the dark by women.

I honestly wished that women came with an instruction manual and clear directions on how to navigate them and being in a relationship with them.

You ever just had someone who just treats you well that you're just waiting to wake up from this obvious dream?

I think this time I can trust her with my heart!

Sometimes I think I'm so foolish and crazy for letting women have my heart, but I can't help it! Being in love is amazing!

A poem I wrote a few years back enjoy.

Taste of Tears By Jwriter

I wonder if we tasted our own tears if we would remember...

We would remember the first time we cried...

Or the first time someone we loved hurt us...

We would taste our tears and remember the pain that was caused...

The time we lost loved ones...

The times we laughed so hard that we cried...

Maybe if we could taste tears and remember, maybe there would be more crying and less killing...

Maybe if we could taste the tears of the ones whose hearts we have broken, then maybe we wouldn't hurt them again....

If you could taste the sadness of the one you betrayed as they cry over the pain you caused them, or they ask how could you do that to them, then maybe you wouldn't have betrayed them...

Maybe if you could taste the tears of the loved ones who's loved one you took from them when you pulled the trigger, maybe you wouldn't have thrown death at them....were their tears salty....

If you tasted your own tears and remembered the pain he or she caused you, you could let them go and wouldn't keep taking them back, maybe you could let them go and learn to love yourself...

Maybe tears are salty because of the pain soaked into them or maybe tears shouldn't be tasted...

Oh the taste of tears, drenching hurt, quaking sadness....

Tears cried and Tears Tasted....

The Taste of Tears....the price is paid....

Tasted, Tasteless, Timeless, Tears.....

tears.......................................................................................................

I know that I have a lot to answer for when I meet Jesus and the Heavenly Father in Heaven. I so hope that their GRACE and MERCY will extend in that moment, because the truth is I'm guilty. (Jesus intercedes on our behalf and although we are guilty, He has paid the price, penalty, and punishment for sin). Besides the most important reason for having a relationship with Christ, I often wonder what Jesus thinks when we do the things God created us for.

Like my earthly father loves when I'm having fun or when I'm helping someone through a crisis. My dad says it makes him proud or happy when I'm enjoying myself or knowing that the values he instilled in me I put into action; so I wonder what Jesus is thinking when we sing, or praise God, or feed the hungry, visit the sick, clothe the naked, visit the prisoners, etc.

I wonder if he laughs at our jokes or applauds us when we do a good job. Is he cheering us on when we are trying to overcome an obstacle or is he learning the latest dance step right along with us.

On this new journey I'm on I'm making it my purpose to not put Jesus in a box, but I'm also no longer going to try and make Him this untouchable mythological creature either. I want Jesus to be exactly who he is (God, once a man, Lord, Savior, God's Son) and who I want him to be in my life (friend, present help, counselor, and someone who understands). I want to believe that he does all those things I named and more. I want to believe that he is pleased with my trying to live this life the right way.

What I really imagine is what it is like to hear Jesus sing and what our response would be.

Lord what do you think about this???

"You never miss a good thing until it is gone," Unknown

Have you ever made the mistake of letting love pass you by? Do you ever ask yourself why? Why did you ignore the person that loved you and cared for you? Maybe you've been asking yourself this question many times over the course of your life or during the times you've genuinely had someone who truly loved you and you let them go.

I never understood this phenomenon or how someone could have everything they ever wanted sitting right in front of them and they neglect them. I'm not sitting in a position of judgment, because I do understand how you can get comfortable in a relationship and slip up on doing some of the important things, but rather I'm just curious on how you let the one that truly loves you and gives you everything slip from your fingers.

Even though we quote this saying time and time again "life is short", the truth is that life is so very short and although we can have many surface in love moments, casual sex moments, etc; there are few times in this short life where you find true love and are able to find what some call a soul mate. While I don't personally subscribe to the theory of "the one"; I will say don't let pride, fear, or selfishness hold you back from true love.

It will hurt you if the one you love messes up and does you wrong, but it will hurt worse if you allow the one you love to walk out on you or they leave you because of something you did or wouldn't do.

This life is full of trouble, pain, and adversity; the moment you find love please don't let it pass you by.

Finding love shouldn't be pulling teeth, instead with the right amount of logic, prayer, risk, and love; u can win!

If you can't love a person for who they are now you won't be able to love them when they grow to someone new!

You can't make a person into something you want them to be! They have to make the changes on their own!

Love never comes with a simple instruction manual, but we make it complicated! We ask too many of the wrong questions!

I never knew what could make the heart beat besides the function of pumping blood, but then I fell in love and my heart has two reasons for beating!