It's Always Sunny In Relationships: 5 Tips on How to Make Relationships Work

Most of us wish that it was always sunny in our relationships, but most of us realize or have experience that the "dark clouds" will come. Rainy days definitely will appear even in the healthiest of relationships, I want us to take a look at 5 areas that could help us make our relationships a little more sunnier.

I shared on my IG and Twitter page these 5 tips, but I wanted to kind of go into detail of what each area is about and how we can use them to help us navigate our relationships a little better. Anyway I will stop running my mouth and give you the 5 points I would like to touch on.

5 Areas to improve on to make a relationship work:

1. Communication
2. Consistency
3. Trust
4. Spend Quality Time Together
5. Have a Friendship

Communication is not just two people talking, but complete surrender of selfish motives and ideas to hear the heart of someone else. I know you're probably saying what are you talking about. Most times we are absolutely confused on what it means to communicate effectively. We think that if we are allowing each other to speak, there is no yelling or cursing, and we walk away happy that we have effectively communicated. That's nice, but have you found yourself still misunderstood or the problem that you have discussed still isn't fixed? If you have felt like this you have probably felt like effective communication just doesn't work. However, we take the tips that we learn and only use about 5 percent of it and the other 95 percent we continue to operate in our ineffective communication styles.

Communication is more than talking or listening, but it is a change in attitude; communication is a change in seeking what I want and what I need to give to the other person what they want and what they need. You won't listen effectively and you won't talk effectively if you're still thinking and feeling from your own point of view.

François de La Rochefoucauld a noted French author said this about communication, "We never listen when we are eager to speak." This is so true you must be willing to listen if you want to be able to show that you care about the other person's feelings. I also believe that your heart and your thinking have to be of pure motives and desiring to do for the other person.

Communication involves change of thinking, surrender of "it's about how I feel", listening, and talking. If you can change the thinking I believe you can improve the communication within any relationship you're in.

Consistency is making sure you start what you finish, you do what you say you will do, and you will be where you say you'll be. Of course consistency is more than what I said in the last sentence, but being consistent can help you have a stable and amazing relationship. Consistency is letting your yes be yes and your no be no. It is follow through that is not mediocre, but it is executed with excellence in mind.

You are romantic and you remain romantic throughout the relationship. You show kindness when you first started the relationship and you continue to show kindness throughout the life of the relationship. When you are consistent you show whomever you're in relationship with that they matter and that your word and your actions can be trusted.

Be consistent!

Trust is defined as, "belief that someone or something is reliable, good, honest, effective, etc," Merriam-Webster Dictionary. I look at trust as the "spiritual" extension of a person. When you trust you give someone access to who you are. You give them top secret clearance to the vulnerable you. I think that is why when trust is broken it hurts so much and it is so hard to get it back.

I also believe that trust is good, but we do it ineffectively. First you can't just trust someone based on the fact that you love them. Trust isn't something that just happens, trust has to be built. We give too much of ourselves way too early. The trust hurt most likely wouldn't hurt as badly if we built the proper foundation first and put up the appropriate expectation gates when releasing of "trusting self." In other words before I just give you all my trust we must develop trust and then I realize that like me, the person I am in relationship is human too and is prone to failure. With that in mind you'll give trust to those who built it. Look at it from the building perspective and not who deserves it perspective.

Communication and Consistency builds Trust! I'm able to share my heart with you and you will listen. I can count on you to not only be true to me, but I can count on you to be true to who you are. Trust is developed and not established or already in place. You can't just come into a relationship with trust already built, it has to develop and be birthed.

Quality Time You can't have a healthy relationship, that is saturated in consistent healthy communication and a strong developed trust without spending quality time together. Quality time is exactly what the two words imply time that is of quality. Notice I did not say quantity time, but instead time that is full of quality. I believe quite radically that even a minute together can have quality, but you have to communicate what quality time means, be consistent in spending the quality time together, and trusting that the relationship is deserving of spending time together.

Be intentional in the time you spend together and not just brush it off. Make the time special and memorable. Even if it is just watching a DVD together in the bed or going out to eat with your friends, make it special. And making it special isn't about how much money you spend, but the thoughtfulness you put into it. Make the time you spend together count.

Quality time means spending time together that is meaningful and intentional with quality wrapped all in the moments you spend with one another.

Have A Friendship : Friendship is  so important in any relationship because a healthy friendship is often full of fresh perspective. A healthy friendship gives you someone you can trust, someone you can talk to, and someone you can share your heart with. You enjoy spending time with your friends and a lot of the times you want to be around your friends each and every moment you can. In intimate relationships and even long-term friendships you get TOO COMFORTABLE and lose that fresh perspective about life and about each other, but having a healthy friendship and developing those feelings of desired companionship can help revitalize any relationship you have. Add friendship to your relationships and watch it flourish.

A true friend will push you and motivate you to greatness, but also help you enjoy your life to the fullest!

I hope that this small look at these areas of relationship will help make things work out a lot better for your friendships, work relationships, and romantic relationships alike. Don't be afraid to try something new and put some sunshine into your relationships.

Joe
Twitter: @relationshipjw
Facebook: Relationships Simply Made