Just wanted to share the types people I've dated. Going to try and keep this as anonymous as I can lol. These are real cases and real women in whom I've dated, talked to, or was in a relationship limbo with.
The Double dipper: This one I've known for a long time. We were a couple back in the day, but it didn't work out. Anyway she called me after a few years and told me how unhappy she was we didn't work out and that she would love for us to become an item again. Now I was extremely desperate to be in a relationship; as well as at the time to get some action (pre-celibacy decision). Well of course we talked about getting back together and it sounded like she was more mature. Guys and girls it sounded as if she was ready for a serious relationship until she said this: "jwriter I want to be clear that I'm in an open relationship and I want to know if you would be my other boyfriend as well," Of course I stared at the phone in disbelief. Did she honestly think I was willing to be in a relationship with her, while she dated someone else? This last statement is what made me hang up on her immediately: "At least this time around I wouldn't be doing things behind your back," Of course I didn't entertain this and realized she hadn't matured, but instead her game just evolved.
The Damsel In Distress: Of course if you haven't learned this about me I'm a magnet for women who seem to be having troubles or relationship issues. This one I met in college. No one knew about her, because I didn't talk much about her. I always get these women who start to like me after I stay up late nights talking to them, comforting them, praying for them, helping them financially, holding their hands through the hard times. A Superman so to speak. Well this one only wanted to be with me if I continued to be Superman, unfortunately I was unable to save her due to my own need to be saved. Needless to say after a few dates which ended in arguments of why I've changed; with me saying I haven't changed you just don't need to be saved by me anymore, she dumped me for the dark knight real fast lol.
Multiple- Emotionally-Unavailable- Woman: Oh this is not just one woman alone, but a mutant who has the ability to not only clone themselves, but also to make these clones come in different shapes and sizes. These women are almost everything I'm looking for in a woman: Smart, funny, confident, loves God, and is very interested in me. I think I hear you asking yourself, "Ok so what's the problem," I'll tell you they are in a emotional relationship with someone else or I'm the PLACEHOLDER. I try my very best not to curse, but these women are @%!&@&^**&^@ in my life and I wish they would stop the madness and not waste my time.
I LOVE SEX TOO MUCH: This girl I'm not really mad at so much, but it just disturbed me kind of that we stop dating because I decided to not be sexually active anymore. (Note her and I never had sex, but I guess she kept it in the back of her mind) Anyway things were going great with her. I love conversation (She could hold one), I love to laugh (she did too), I love watching movies and relaxing (she was the queen), and we hung out like crazy. Here's when things went down hill. I told her that I was considering celibacy. She immediately said that as much as she liked me she didn't think she could be in a relationship with no intimacy. We argued back in forth about what intimacy really was (me saying that sexual intercourse and intimacy are not the same or in other words you can have one without the other), (she on the other hand felt that they are and that a relationship can't stand when sex is not in the equation). She further proved that she wasn't "right" for me because she said she didn't think I would be able to maintain my celibacy. I'm hoping to prove her wrong. I really thought that this was going to be the relationship for me, but I was wrong.
bigBUTeasyonethe eyes: As the name suggest she was a big girl, but she was beautiful. She was nice, kind, and we really enjoyed each others company. The problem was she didn't have a lot of confidence and I spent a lot of time trying to get her to stop putting herself down. She also was unable to come to grips with the fact that I really liked her. Of course I'm not telling the whole truth, but for the sake of anonymity I can't reveal the deeper reasons why I didn't pursue this; although I will say that her lack of confidence really was a turn off.
Friendzoner: This is the one I think I could have had a great relationship, but unfortunately she entered the realm of permanent friend. I was into her and she was into me, but we decided to be friends first. Good choice, but we turned the chemistry button off and nothing was flowing. She became a true friend and I couldn't turn the chemistry back on. I can't talk about this one for two long because I kind of regret my decision. I could be happy right now, but I didn't take a risk, I punked out, and I let a good one become a friendzoner. I turned into the very person I dislike, "You're a great woman and all, but I think we are better off as friends," Stupid stupid jwriter.
The Great Teaser: There are a few of these that I've dated, but one in particular I feel gets a kick of dangling the prospect of a relationship over my head. Again there are a few of these I've dated, but this one has some kind of hold over me and deep down I'm loving it. On the surface it pisses me off, but deep down I get a sick thrill out of it. I want to be with her so bad, but I know she is no good for me; especially since she knows how I feel. Dang I want to use a lot of profane language on this one. LOL
I'm actually getting depressed reading this so I will stop here. I'm not dating anyone right now, but I'm going to get back out there soon. I will write more about my experiences, but tell me what you think so far.
Read, Comment, Discuss.
The Daters
Joseph is a Licensed Graduate Social Worker in the Washington, DC area. Joseph is the author of the forthcoming book “Love Me Right or Not at All”, A Quick Guide to Loving Yourself and Others the Healthy Way. This book seeks to assist everyone who reads it to love with balance and give love to the right people. Joseph is striving to become an expert in the practice of relationship empowerment. He strives to build healthy, powerful, and well-balanced relationships in the lives of everyone who seeks after the knowledge, values, and skills Joseph has honed over the last ten years. Joseph is an aspiring Marriage and Family Therapist, but to also travel around the nation and hopefully the world, to spread the message that relationships can be simple, yet amazing if you put in the work. Relationships are vital to the human experience and often shape our mindsets, our personalities, and our environments. Knowing this, Joseph works to encourage not only those who believe in his skills, but also works passionately to build his knowledge and skills in the area of relationships to present the best of who he is both personally and professionally.
2 comments:
Hey J! It's me again! It's always very interesting to see things from a male perspective. We (men and women), although different in many ways, share some of the same views on issues regarding relationships. I have been in (or have known someone to be in) some of these very same predicaments. Reading this post compelled me to think about my past relationships and dating experiences. In doing so, I realized that the failed relationships and unexplicable dating mishaps are only learning experiences. One should value the lessons learned and apply them to future endeavors. Promise to not make the same mistakes repeatedly. (I think I might write a post about this later.) 'Til then, be encouraged and write on, my brother!
Ok, so since we are close, you KNOW I'm trying to figure out who these ladies are.....LOL. I was even playing a guessing game!LOL- I think I figured out a couple :-)But for real,just kidding, I know it's none of my business but this was a great read and interesting perspectives.
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