Entry 12
In the last two weeks I'm beginning to lose my grip on remaining celibate from everything. No I haven't sinned and had sex, I'm still determined to not have sex again until I'm married, but I'm not working to build my defenses against the temptations my mind, body, and the devil are building against me. A huge part of it is my past and how I allowed sex and sexual gratification to rule over me. Another part is my laziness, or my overall need not to do any work, but to just watch tv, play video games, and hang out with my friends. I read my Bible, but I don't study it. I pray but only in the morning and before bed. (fasting is a whole other story)! I know that I can't win this fight against my flesh if I don't build these defenses.
I've also discovered that I had to check my motives behind this decision. It was a cry for attention (not just from God who can see through my bull) but attention from people, acceptance, a need to escape the fact that I really don't have a high self-concept that I put off. To announce that I'm celibate to the online world (was one way to expose myself and put the sin of committing fornication and watching pornography), but honestly it was for me to have people focus their attention on something -Great- I was doing and for me not to look at the hurt I was feeling. For me to escape my loneliness and frustration of not having successful relationships or dating interactions (Dating PTSD LOL).
In light of my recent mistakes and falling I know that I have to get the right motives for my decision to become celibate, get right with God, repent, and work on re-building my self-concept.
Celibacy is not a burden, but the right decision.
Joe's Celibacy Journal- Temptation
Joseph is a Licensed Graduate Social Worker in the Washington, DC area. Joseph is the author of the forthcoming book “Love Me Right or Not at All”, A Quick Guide to Loving Yourself and Others the Healthy Way. This book seeks to assist everyone who reads it to love with balance and give love to the right people. Joseph is striving to become an expert in the practice of relationship empowerment. He strives to build healthy, powerful, and well-balanced relationships in the lives of everyone who seeks after the knowledge, values, and skills Joseph has honed over the last ten years. Joseph is an aspiring Marriage and Family Therapist, but to also travel around the nation and hopefully the world, to spread the message that relationships can be simple, yet amazing if you put in the work. Relationships are vital to the human experience and often shape our mindsets, our personalities, and our environments. Knowing this, Joseph works to encourage not only those who believe in his skills, but also works passionately to build his knowledge and skills in the area of relationships to present the best of who he is both personally and professionally.
3 comments:
Dude that was Deep...and to be honest with you. Celibacy is only the right thing but its the right choice...it tell God as well as everyone else that I am making this decision not for anyone that knows but for GOD, MYSELF and MY WIFE (when God sends her) often time we and society veiw being celibate as a disease...when its really a privledge. Why wouldn't people want to hold out for the man or woman of GOD he has for them. Keep fighting, Keep Praying, Keep Trusting....and GOD will take care of you in the mist of all that!!!!!
I agree with both your post, J, and yours as well, Prince (Can I call you that?) J, you brought up some very relevant points (as you always do). I like the term "defenses" because that is just what we need. Defense against the temptations and attack on the spirit that are brought on by life in the World. We all must take a moment and examine ourselves (honestly and without justifying every little thing). So, I admire you for doing this and sharing with your readers. I'll be praying for your success!!
~Nicole "2Sense"
I was reading this JUST this morning and I didn’t know why God had lead me to read this until now:
Romans 8:24-25 (New American Standard Bible)
24)For in hope we have been saved, but hope that is seen is not hope; for who hopes for what he already sees? 25)But if we hope for what we do not see, with perseverance we wait eagerly for it.
KEEP WAITING..FOR YOUR WAITING IS NOT IN VAIN!!!!!!!!
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