So I have to thank God for hot water. When I was younger and money was a little tight in the house we didn't have hot water for a minute. So we would warm water up on the store or microwave to have heated baths or we would just take cold showers. Here I thought that time had passed. Well I guess the cold showers I had to take this week...until today (YES) has made me appreciative of having working hot water!!! This shower was so refreshing and HOT!!! I'm glad they came and fixed the hot water heater.

So as of tomorrow I would have completed three weeks of post graduate employment. To think that I was at home doing nothing, and now I'm blessed to wake up every morning to a job that I really enjoy. I'm thankful for all my undeserved blessings. Although I do miss waking up everyday at 12 noon, I don't think I want to go back to those days.

So finally I want to say happy blogversary to me and my blog!!! It has been a year since I've started this blog. I'm grateful that I have twelve followers, but dang you would think after a year I would have more than twelve right? LOL! I guess I'm glad I enjoy blogging or else I would have stopped a long time ago. I hope those that do read this do enjoy the blog and hopefully I will start getting more comments and more followers.

So...

Seeing much beauty,
Hear much beauty,
Speak much beauty.

You are the beauty in
Which my senses desire.
To dance in the shadow
Your light casts and
To kiss the sun as it
Shines and Smiles
At my smile who's smile
Brightens my day.

Your laughter heals my wounds
And your kiss helps shed the pain.
Who else appreciates me and who
Would appreciate you like I who
Would snatch the moon out the
Sky for you if he could and
Make the stars dance at your feet.

I would make the seas return all its
Treasure for my treasure whom I
Treasure and hold you close to my heart.
My desire for you is unquenchable and my thirst
For you is never satisfied.

What the HECK is going on with married men and women today???

Have they completely forgot that they made vows or was it just for some false sense of security that they got married? Did you get married just so you'll have someone to go home to? For someone to have your children or have children with and erase you fear of being alone???

I mean it must truly be a new law that I have missed. I mean married people are doing some crazy mess.

If you're married here is what I think you shouldn't do (AND THIS IS JUST MY OPINION)

1. You should not be going to bars trying to pick up people!!! I mean then some of you don't even bother to take off your ring!

2. Calling someone of the opposite sex during the hours of 10:00PM-6:00 AM unless it is a sister or brother, Mom, or dad, or an emergency. I was raised that you don't call nobody pass 9:00 PM, but if you're married calling the opposite sex for any reason at that time of night is uncool.

3. Staying out all times of the night having your spouse worried about you. I mean if they know where you're at and who you with, and you both agreed on it then fine, but yeah check that though.

4. If you are separated from your wife or husband, that means you are still MARRIED! It is not cool for you to date other people. (I have had a few separated women step to me. Look I don't do MARRIED WOMEN!!!) Single/Dating life is hard enough...it is not cool to add that extra drama.

5. Cheating (well that's been said)

6. Talking to non-professional or really-not-that-spiritual-or-people-that-will-not-guide-you-back-to your-spouse-or-tell-you-to-pray-to-God- (sorry) talking to these people about your problems in your marriage. I mean yeah I understand that you may need to talk to someone, but get someone who can actually help you and your marriage. And don't get people that will help you do dirt in your marriage or disrespect your spouse. You're doing wrong if you haven't talked to your husband or wife about the problem first anyway. (Come on people)

7. Not honoring your vows or your promises to your spouse and to God.

You know right now I sound judgmental, which I try really hard not to be, but I mean why get married??? I mean it is getting out of CONTROL!!! And the thing that gets me is that the MARRIED WOMEN are getting BOLDER!!!

Again this is just my opinion, but I needed to know does Married equal ok to date other people???

Everyone needs space. I don't think there is no other way for me to start this conversation, EVERYONE NEEDS SPACE!!!

The first and logical reason everyone needs space, especially in dating and relationships, is that we were once SINGLE. Before you got into a relationship you were single! Simple right? I mean you had all the time when you were single to have space, to reflect, or hang out with friends; so it is only logical and I would dare say natural for you to want space from time to time.

I mean think about it when you were entering the crazy world of adolescence, having time for privacy was something you fought for. Then you discovered how to entertain and enjoy being with yourself. You learned how to mellow out in your own space. This is something that we tend to forget when we start looking for a relationship or dating, and then when we get in a relationship we crave space, but we are unable to ask for it or we are so caught up that we forget to take it.

Everyone needs that time to rebuild your sense of singleness. I've learned whether you're in a serious relationship or you are married, you both are still single individuals who are committed to one another. So if you are still single individuals, then you need that space to regain or replenish your sense of self. When you do that, I believe you become a better whole for your better half.

Getting space isn't ignoring your spouse, mistreating them, disrespecting them, or time for you to date/see other people. Getting space is simply telling yourself and your spouse that I just need some time to be me. I still care about you, I love you, or whatever, but I just need sometime to reflect. And believe me if the relationship is one of mutual understanding, love, romance, and that spark; you won't want to be away from them for too long and the same goes for them.

It is dangerous to make anyone your all or for us to use a relationship to validate who we are. It is good to get space for a number of reasons, I just hope we recognize that we all need space, and asking for space isn't always a indirect way to let you know that it is over!!!

Make time for yourself, even in relationships and dating...get rid of that Dating PTSD!

I think one of the biggest attacks of Dating PTSD happens when you begin to get past the cute stage of your relationship. The cute stage is the butterflies, the laughing, the joking, the long conversations on the phone, the dates, the romance, the inside jokes, the hot passionate kissing, the high school giddiness you get when they call, and just wanting to be around them. I honestly don't think that stage or rather those things have to change; I just think we get comfortable. Well that's another post for later, but for this post the cute stage ends and you realize there is a little more you have to do to keep the relationship going. You seem to aggravate one another more, the cute things that made you melt for them is no longer cute, and your once open schedule for dates and hot make-out sessions become few and far between. This is when you start to notice the budding relationships of others, you begin to notice how happy every other couple seems, and you question what happen to you and your significant other's spark for one another. This is when you start to believe or wonder why the grass is greener on the other side.

I have been guilty before of this subtle form of envy. I believe that it is a faulty form of evaluating your relationship. Evaluation is very important and should be done to make sure you keep the spark going and you explore new ways to make each other happy. Often though what we end up doing is wishing our relationship were like the couple we saw holding hands walking down the street skipping. You wish that you could have what they have, some of us wish so hard we step out on our relationship, and enter into something else, thinking that this is the green grass we've been looking for.

I'm here to tell you that the grass is never greener on the other side and if it is you don't know the work that couple has to do to keep their grass green.

If you want your relationship to be like it used to be: Do what you did in the beginning!!!! Work for the person. Make them feel like they are worth the work. Remember what made them smile, rather than focusing on what they did to make you mad.

Stop being envious of other people's happiness in their relationships and make the choice to be happy in your relationship. Most times everything you ever wanted is with the person you're with, but you are so focused on what they don't do, you forget what they have already done that made you happy, and you forget what they are capable of doing. Don't just blame them for your unhappiness, because you might be just as guilty as well.

Communicate, Communicate, Communicate, Communicate, Communicate!!!! If I could type this ten million times I would, unfortunately I don't have the strength to do so. Let me say it again COMMUNICATE. Open your mouth and express to your girlfriend or boyfriend how you feel, but also learn to shut up and listen. Effective communication involves lots of listening, lots of repeating back to the person what they have said to you, and then openly/honestly sharing how you FEEL!!!! Don't IGNORE and never BLAME!!!! (I'm so guilty of both).

Finally remember that the grass maybe greener on the other side, but you don't know what they went through to get it green.

Looks can be deceiving...get over that Dating PTSD.

God there is none like You! As much as I try to find something on this earth to generate the same love that You give, it is impossible! I can't believe that you still love me despite everything I put you through. God I declare that there is none like You!

There is none like You!

There is none like You!

There is none like You!

You are so wonderful God! God I"m grateful for having a relationship with you. I understand God that I have on many occasions step out on You and have cheated You. I have cheated you out time, love, honesty, obedience, and commitment, but God I thank You that you are a forgiving God.

There is none like You!

So right now at this minute I am unable to sleep. There are so many reasons for this irritating, depressing, and upsetting insomnia I have right now, but I can't really share it. All I can say is that I'm very frustrated, angry, a mix of confusion, the need for distance, a need for answers, questioning, mind spinning in circles, and there is nothing I can do about it!!! And that's just it!!! I hate feeling so powerless or feeling like I'm so censored or can't really speak my mind about the way I feel. I don't understand how this works and it is becoming a very destructive inner pain for me.

They say to look at the bright side, but when you spend all your time in your head like I do; it becomes difficult to find a bright side. I feel so lost sometimes and yet I find myself unable to comprehend what is going on.

So...

So guys tell me what you think about the new layout? I tried to load a new template, but I suck at it lol and things just weren't working out. But I like that I added some pics of me, showcasing how silly I am.

So I got my haircut!!!! You don't understand how good it feels and the second I get some pics of me and my new cut they will be going up on the blog people!!!! Man it feels so good to finally have my haircut!

I really wish though that I could just keep my hair fresh all the time. If I could just will my hair to stay freshly cut and never have to worry about growing a bush or as I get older; never to worry about balding. I wonder how I would look if I was bald???

So my Blogsversary is coming up and I've come up with some new Blog themes to go along with the new look:

1.) Think About It: Will be like mini-thoughts on some topics that may make you think or make you ponder.

2.) Funny Moments: I will share funny moments in my life or funny moments that happen today, yesterday, or even ones that may happen in the future.

3.) Jwriter and U: This is where I will bring guest to blog for me or blog along side me on different topics.

So I hope you guys and girls continue to read, hopefully comment, and maybe even follow me on my blog.

Of course Dating PTSD will still be here and my personal randomness journal So... and whatever else I come up with.

Enjoy

So...

So I'm feeling a whole lot better about life.

I was blessed by God with a job, cool new co-workers, and I feel like I will be doing some meaningful work.

I'm alive and well,

I'm blogging which helps me deal with things,

and friends and family are doing great.

I'm just so excited that my situation has changed and I'm no longer trapped in the house all day doing nothing.

One thing I can't figure out is women. I'm still having trouble with figuring out the opposite sex and wonder why they say men can be difficult???? Women can be just as difficult if not more in some cases LOL.

That's a whole other post I guess.

So...

Girl: "I imagine that it will take you some time to get over me," she says very calmly.

Me: "Actually I've been broken up with and rejected so many times I've become numb to the whole getting over someone part," I say with a smirk.

Girl: "So you're telling me that you feel nothing since we're over," she appeared annoyed.

Me: "I mean I was hurt when you did it, but honestly the pain I feel now has nothing to do with us no longer being together; I knew that train was pulling in long before you sent me the text," I laugh and then continue, "no the pain I feel is the realization that I have to play this game with another woman that will possibly be the one or will once again waste my time. Now that is painful, I understand that I was your placeholder and never the punctuation mark that signaled the end," I said and bowed gracefully to her.

Of course this story had a lot more dialogue and a few tears were shed, but for the most part the script is accurate. I believe that moving on after a relationship has ended can cost Dating PTSD and I want to share with others my opinion on moving on effectively.

The first step to Moving On is to allow Time and Patience to do their jobs. You can't expect to move on from someone in a day's time. If you're like me and have become a little expectant and cynical concerning the cycle of dating/break-ups/relationships; moving on may seem a little bit easier, but it still takes time for us to move on and to heal. We can also become impatient with our mind, heart, and body who seems to be having trouble moving on from the person we were so into, while our actions are often trying to move 17 steps ahead. We need to be patient so we don't jump from relationship to relationship, and we need time to heal and release any baggage that may have accumulated while we were in the relationship.

The second step is to gain Control of our Actions. Stop allowing the person to call you or you calling them everyday like nothing has occurred. Everyone needs their space and if you want to move on, getting space is very important. Please try not to Facebook stalk them or try and find ways to be near them or in their general area. I'm not saying that ex's can't be friends and hangout, but if this isn't one of those moments where you break-up and then immediately get back together, but one or both parties were serious about ending the relationship, I think it is very important to allow for space. (Also having ex sex is not a good idea either. That's just my opinion. It only makes things worse.)

Finally changing our Focus. It is very important to begin to regain your singleness. To begin to not focus on what you guys did right or what went wrong, which will often make the Moving On process slower. Change your focus and begin to think about you, family, friends, and rebuilding yourself. Changing your perspective on things can help you allow Time to move, Patience to be gained, and gaining Control of your Actions.

This isn't law, but I feel that these three steps can help us overcome some of the Dating PTSD that comes with Moving On.

Dating PTSD we can overcome it...