Sometimes you just need a timeout right? Is it possible in a relationship to need a break? I don't know the meaning of this and honestly never understood the notion. I do understand that people may need some space, but a break is something I don't get. Is taking a "break" a trail separation? Do you both say hey let's see what it would be like to break up and after a while if it is too hard to be apart we can get back together, but if the freedom is good we can still get back together; with the intention to one day breakup for real. I can't say that this is something that sounds interesting to me or something I do, but it is something that comes up in dating, it is something that can cause dating PTSD, full of painful flashbacks and re-experiencing the "break", and so I needed to blog about it.
I guess the most important step is to always be honest and upfront about what you're feeling. You have to be honest about your expectations, your desires, your goals, and your concerns. Even if you feel that it will hurt the person you're dating, you should really work on communicating what you're feeling. The person you are dating is not a mind reader and so you have to tell them when you're feeling overwhelmed or feeling like you need a break. The second thing I would say is to become a good listener if you're not one already. You have to listen and not just waiting to build your argument or state your case without ever listening.
Finally you have to understand that you can't play around with people's heart or emotions. If you know you're not serious about the relationship or you know that you are not intending to go far with the person you're dating, don't take breaks as an excuse to escape facing reality or being upfront with the person. Don't take breaks to try and punish the person you're dating to do what you want them to do, or to teach them a lesson. If you honestly need a break state why, come to an agreement with the person you're dating, especially if you want to get back together. Ask for space rather than saying taking a break and detail what taking a break means.
Dating PTSD we can overcome it...
Dating PTSD (11/17/09)-Taking a Break
By JoeDating PTSD (11/17/09)-Taking a Break
Joseph is a Licensed Graduate Social Worker in the Washington, DC area. Joseph is the author of the forthcoming book “Love Me Right or Not at All”, A Quick Guide to Loving Yourself and Others the Healthy Way. This book seeks to assist everyone who reads it to love with balance and give love to the right people. Joseph is striving to become an expert in the practice of relationship empowerment. He strives to build healthy, powerful, and well-balanced relationships in the lives of everyone who seeks after the knowledge, values, and skills Joseph has honed over the last ten years. Joseph is an aspiring Marriage and Family Therapist, but to also travel around the nation and hopefully the world, to spread the message that relationships can be simple, yet amazing if you put in the work. Relationships are vital to the human experience and often shape our mindsets, our personalities, and our environments. Knowing this, Joseph works to encourage not only those who believe in his skills, but also works passionately to build his knowledge and skills in the area of relationships to present the best of who he is both personally and professionally.
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