So journal this has been a crazy beginning to the New Year, but I'm realizing that a lot of it has been the consequences of my actions. I want to be hurt and I want to be sad, but I can't bring myself to do so. I deserve every hardship that comes my way, because I continually turn my back on God. I ignore Him, I mistreat Him, and I turn my back on Him. He warns me of danger, but I'm one of those people who wants things to go his way, no matter what the consequences are. I wanted so much to be different this year, but I also prayed that God would reveal and remove the things in my life that wasn't good for me. I also needed to really do the hard thing in life and begin to change. I have spent my whole life trying to mask a hidden life of complete sadness, hurt, and anger in the form of goofiness, loud laughter, and aggressive speech/thoughts. Honestly though journal it has done nothing but put the sadness in a small corner and made people not really take me seriously. I don't know if people have ever experienced not being taken seriously, but it is a very difficult thing, especially when the people you care about don't take you serious. I feel like such a failure and that I have given up so much of my life for people who don't care, but I gradually give God my life with restrictions.
I just want the thoughts to quiet and I want peace. I truly want to begin to trust God and to serve Him with all I have. I am so tired of being sad, disappointed, and let down. But journal I wish I could explain how much I needed to feel loved and appreciated. How much I want to have a family of my own. I wish I could explain how much I want to be in love and to have someone be just as equally in love with me. Journal I just need you to understand I have been willing to be mistreated and broken in order to have what I see other people have. I have realized that I have lost my mind though. I have realized that I have to move away from all of that and I have to begin to rebuild my life and my relationship with God.
So I am determined to change and I am determined to be a better man. I am determined to be a Godly man who lives holy.
So...
So...
Joseph is a Licensed Graduate Social Worker in the Washington, DC area. Joseph is the author of the forthcoming book “Love Me Right or Not at All”, A Quick Guide to Loving Yourself and Others the Healthy Way. This book seeks to assist everyone who reads it to love with balance and give love to the right people. Joseph is striving to become an expert in the practice of relationship empowerment. He strives to build healthy, powerful, and well-balanced relationships in the lives of everyone who seeks after the knowledge, values, and skills Joseph has honed over the last ten years. Joseph is an aspiring Marriage and Family Therapist, but to also travel around the nation and hopefully the world, to spread the message that relationships can be simple, yet amazing if you put in the work. Relationships are vital to the human experience and often shape our mindsets, our personalities, and our environments. Knowing this, Joseph works to encourage not only those who believe in his skills, but also works passionately to build his knowledge and skills in the area of relationships to present the best of who he is both personally and professionally.
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