Relationship Talks- How Can You Love Me and Do the Opposite???
This is one of the most frequently talked about topics in relationship talks: “Do they really love me?” It stands to reason that if a person says they love you their actions will show it right? Wrong. We have seen time and time again that a person can tell you one thing, but do the complete opposite of what they said. Aren’t we all guilty of this pervasive talk and act?
I have to ask people if we can truly ever love someone, when we do exactly opposite of what loving someone should be. I mean can you say you love someone and cheat on them? Can you say you love someone and you lie to them right in their face? Can you love someone and physically, emotionally, or verbally abuse them? Is this love? Does loving someone come with a price?
Here is what I propose; maybe it is time for us to truly learn what love is before we go out and declare our love for someone. I also think it may be important for us to discover ourselves first; to be aware if we are truly capable of loving someone else, putting them above ourselves. Ask yourself the question; are you willing to forsake all others to love this one person? Are you willing to sacrifice everything for this person? Is loving someone that drastic? I believe in some instances it is; love is sacrifice, risky, scary, beautiful, and sometimes ugly all at the same time.
I truly believe that we have to learn the difference between love and lust. Love is not that little shock that you get in your lower regions; that can be a byproduct of love, but believe me your flesh is quite capable of getting aroused without the emotional attachment to a person. I also believe that we have to start being honest with ourselves; maybe you are not ready to settle down or to be in a relationship, maybe you do need to be single and love you a little while longer.
While we are talking just for the sake of the single brothers or the single sisters out there that are truly looking for something real; if you don’t want to be in a relationship just say that, please don’t waste my time, but maybe some of us are just so stupid we get in things we know we shouldn’t be in anyway.
Just talking about relationships!!!
jwriter
joe4christ.blogspot.com
Relationship Talks- How Can You Love Me and Do the Opposite???
By JoeRelationship Talks- How Can You Love Me and Do the Opposite???
Joseph is a Licensed Graduate Social Worker in the Washington, DC area. Joseph is the author of the forthcoming book “Love Me Right or Not at All”, A Quick Guide to Loving Yourself and Others the Healthy Way. This book seeks to assist everyone who reads it to love with balance and give love to the right people. Joseph is striving to become an expert in the practice of relationship empowerment. He strives to build healthy, powerful, and well-balanced relationships in the lives of everyone who seeks after the knowledge, values, and skills Joseph has honed over the last ten years. Joseph is an aspiring Marriage and Family Therapist, but to also travel around the nation and hopefully the world, to spread the message that relationships can be simple, yet amazing if you put in the work. Relationships are vital to the human experience and often shape our mindsets, our personalities, and our environments. Knowing this, Joseph works to encourage not only those who believe in his skills, but also works passionately to build his knowledge and skills in the area of relationships to present the best of who he is both personally and professionally.
9 comments:
I feel you lil bro...And yes you can cheat and be in llove someone...You can get cheated on and still love the person who cheated on you! You can curse someone out or be curse out (verbal abused ) and still be in love. Unconditional love sometmes takes over in our lives and makes us so blind to what is really going on! Here is my solution, until ... See Morethe person truly looks deep inside themselves and say "Im done" it will continue to go down, unfortunately it takes forever to realize this revelation. As a person on the outside looking in, you can see the destruction and desolation. but for the person thats in it, they think they are in paradise! Just speaking from experience, I've played both sides of this fence...Good Luck!
(Now I don't want to argue, but I must say that I don't think that is love. I think that is some crossed wired, lust type stuff right there. My dumb butt has been in love many many times and never once could I love a person and cheat on them or abuse them in anyway. Now I have my "insert... See More bad word" with me, but I can't love you and hurt you that way. It isn't love. Now can I say you weren't in love, NO, that is for you to say and have felt, but may be I'm looking at love the wrong way; I just don't see love as cheating. Thank you bro for your honest and your comment. Keep the party going.
As far as cheating, There are plenty of folks in this world that have cheated on someone and still loved them. They just had their weak moments and times of selfishness. HOWEVER, if they really loved them, they will tell them the truth and let them go while they get themselves together so they are no longer lying and causing their mate more pain. Just my thought.
that was jls so many years ago..i look at men like Steve Harvey tells me to...Is this someone I can bring around my son, JDS who since 1995 said to me at a bus stop Its something about him I do not like..discern and move along.do not stay with someone cause you like them look at the situation you about to be in and say Do I really want this for the remainder of my life...
I agree with some of what Deon is saying. You can be so in love with someone that you put up with foolishness. I think you're right Joey in that all of us should really learn to love ourselves first and find out what's important to us BEFORE we enter into a relationship. Knowing that can help you & the other person. Now I've heard from people that ... See Morehave cheated on someone they've claimed to love. Sometimes they really are in love, but I guess they have taken the other person for granted. It's not until they lose the person or see them hurt that they realize they have to treat them better if they want to keep them. I think it's a process. You learn from every experience. If I knew back then what I know, my past would be very different. But then again so would I. As you get older you learn that actions speak louder. You learn to see things as they really are but watching how a person treats you. When you're hearing someone say I love you meant the world. By now, at 30, I need to see it.
Didn't read all of this, I mean can't devote soooo much time to FB, lol! But so far at least Deon has somewhat of a liberal view of "love". what the heck????????
. You are correct. We don't do things that hurt the people that we claim to love. Naw, that ain't love
okay, okay, one more thing. LOL! Maybe it's lust, yeah that's it, maybe. Just can't be love; kinda stuck on that, can't be LOVE!
Again thank you all for your comments. I posted them to my blog...@JLS that you for your comment and I think that we have to get to a point where we are not playing around with people's hearts and emotions. I think if we know we are incapable of being faith and true we need to back off or just date. Don't get into a relationship and say you're in love and then cheat. Waste of time. @Tina- I can understand the part of taking someone for granted or even being in love with someone, but not knowing how to show them, I can even understand being in love and dealing with foolishness, but cheating and saying you love someone??? there is something missing. And I'm not being judemental, please I have no room for that, but it's just not how I love.
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