So... sometimes I feel like I'm not cared or truly loved. I know journal it sounds so stupid to say out loud; I mean all the loved ones I have, all the people that love me, that show me love, or who say they love me; why in the world do I feel like I'm unloved? I don't know, but I do. I just feel so empty sometimes. I know a huge part of that is my disconnect from God. I've disconnected myself from Him and not the other way around. I have no idea how to pull myself out of these feelings, they just go away, but I truly hate when they do come around.
So...Journal there are honestly times when I'm absolutely in love with being in love and then there are other times when I wish I had more control over these feelings. I mean honest I wish I could cut these feelings off and on. Especially days when I'm hurt or angry and I don't want to think of this person. But I do. "she" invades my thoughts and as angry as I am at her at times I still feel the pull to want to hold her, to kiss her, to make her smile, to hear her laugh, and to feel the connection that we have; despite our need to deny it or to hide it. I really am in love and I hate it sometimes journal because I feel so helpless and captivated by it all at the same time. What am I supposed to do?
So...today I watched a group of married people just talking and laughing...journal I don't think they realize how happy they looked. It is truly something too this "companionship thing" As much as people want to always say. "It ain't easy being married," "Or you don't know what we go through," besides all of that, why can't people just understand that there is something special about being with someone, loving someone, and they love you back; and one of the most important things about marriage: Guilt Free SEX!!!! There are benefits to that phrase that are both good for the physical, emotional, and mental being. Believe me I enjoyed watching them happy, but a very small part of me had a hint of envy...this is my journal so I can be honest. I wasn't just envious for myself, but I was envious for that married couple that isn't as happy and it isn't for there lack of trying.
So...I will be working on my walk with God journal and I will be trying to REPENT from my evil ways. Help me Lord to turn from my wicked ways and return to you and your laws. "I'm a stranger in this Earth hide not your commandments from me."
So...
Joseph is a Licensed Graduate Social Worker in the Washington, DC area. Joseph is the author of the forthcoming book “Love Me Right or Not at All”, A Quick Guide to Loving Yourself and Others the Healthy Way. This book seeks to assist everyone who reads it to love with balance and give love to the right people. Joseph is striving to become an expert in the practice of relationship empowerment. He strives to build healthy, powerful, and well-balanced relationships in the lives of everyone who seeks after the knowledge, values, and skills Joseph has honed over the last ten years. Joseph is an aspiring Marriage and Family Therapist, but to also travel around the nation and hopefully the world, to spread the message that relationships can be simple, yet amazing if you put in the work. Relationships are vital to the human experience and often shape our mindsets, our personalities, and our environments. Knowing this, Joseph works to encourage not only those who believe in his skills, but also works passionately to build his knowledge and skills in the area of relationships to present the best of who he is both personally and professionally.
2 comments:
It's not stupid; believe me, a lot of ppl feel that way about not feeling loved or cared about. But know that you are and that the woman God has for you is so on her way. I definitely believe it.
Saying your name before the Father....
Let me concur with Jenesis. I can say I definitely feel that way many times. But one thing you have to stop doing is making yourself feel bad for feeling the way you feel. That's just how we are.. we are human. Every time I have those feelings I act in the flesh *i.e. going out on a date and trying to find that love* only for God to put me back in my place and make me humble myself to wait on Him. Marriage is ordained by Christ, so just keep that in mind when you have those urges. It makes you appreciate that love even more...and want to wait for Him to bring it to you.
I understand.. your plight..
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