What It Means to Be In Love Part I

First we must start with definitions. The dictionary defines love as, "a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person, a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend; sexual passion or desire, a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart, and used in direct address as a term of endearment, affection, or the like.

The dictionary defines being in love as an idiom (an expression whose meaning is not predictable from the usual meanings of its constituent elements); in love is to be infused with or feeling deep affection or passion or in love with, feeling deep affection or passion for (a person, idea, occupation, etc.); enamored of: in love with the girl next door; in love with one's work.

How do you define being in love? This is an age old statement that I have heard from people who are wildly into one another. The relationship is new and beautiful and everything seems to be going great for them. They have butterflies and they see, hear, smell no one but the person they are in love with. On the other side of this I have heard people say one of the worst statements in the world:

"I love you, but I am no longer in love with you." At first I did not believe that this was a possible occurrence. How is it possible to say you love someone, but you are no longer in love with them. Love is love right? That is what I thought.

Then I learned about Eros Love (Erotic Love), Philos Love (Brotherly Love), and the best LOVE of all Agape Love (Unconditional Love). I learned that people express love in different ways and that these three types of love were not marked just by a feeling, but by actions that expressed the level of love and feelings you have towards the person these types of love were directed too.

However I did not learn what the difference between being in love and just loving a person meant. I did learn that you can love a person on many different levels. I also kind of equate Eros Love with the body or physical love, Philos Love with the will and the mind (I CHOOSE to love you as a brother or sister or as a friend) and AGAPE love with the true HEART, the Will, the spirit (humanness),  and The Spirit (God's Will and Desire) (I love you with no strings attached and no conditions).

Still I did not know what it meant to be in love and not be in love with someone anymore. I know the phrase I love you but I'm not in love with you was meant to be a buffer to the pain I would feel from a break up, but it didn't stop the pain and only made me hurt worse. How could you love me and not be in love with me anymore.

It wasn't until After I loved, fell in love, and I decided to become committed to my fiancee, who is now my wife, that I fully understood the concept of being in love. And it has nothing to do with butterflies.

Up Next: What It Means to Be In Love Part II