Stop being selfish with the loving husbands and wives.

Why in the world are you married and sex is the gift for you; stop withholding sex from one another.

It is not ok to not sex each other on a regular basis.

No chore sex please. Some people say that it is still sex and you should be happy, but no one just wants someone to lay there or to be like, "please just hurry up and finish so I can go back to shopping."

Please have a regular mutually agreed upon sex time with one another.

Don't let the sex get boring.

Come on guys and gals share the treasure. Sex one another as much as you can!

It is still ok to have quickies!

It is still ok to have booty calls with your spouse!

Enjoy

“Communication is at the heart of intimate human relationships, it is literally the foundation on which all else is built,” David H. Olson.


The quote above says it all. I am telling you the truth that without communication there is no foundation on which your relationship can stand. I do understand that we struggle in relationships and life doesn't always make it easy for two people to get along, but if there is a conversation going on I believe that you can make it through anything.

A lot of times the issues isn't that we don't want to communicate, but the issues is that we don't know how to communicate effectively.

The first thing you have to do is learn how to listen more than talking. Listening goes beyond just the ability to hear. With listening you have to take in the information your are receiving and process it. You can't process what someone is saying if you are thinking of how to defend your point or negate what they are saying. So take the time to learn how to listen and to process, that way when it is your turn to speak, you can give them a sense that you heard what they said and acknowledge that you hear what they are trying to convey from what they have said.

You listen to gain an understanding and not a rebuttal when you are trying to communicate. If you are debating than building your case is just fine.

Secondly you want to learn how to speak to one another and not talk at one another. I have to work on this point in communicating effectively with my significant other. This is especially important when you and your spouse are discussing something that has your emotions boiling. The biggest thing to remember is to speak to one another how you would want to be spoken to. Be mindful of the level/tone you both are speaking to one another. That can happen by referring to step one and that is to listen. You want to get someone to stop yelling, don't join in on the yelling match with them. Most times people will come down to the level you're at. If that doesn't work, ask for a moment, and restart the conversation to see if that will get your engines cooled.

Yelling doesn't get your point across it only shows you have reached your limit in effectively communicating.

Finally you have to practice effective communication. If you are not speaking to each other or you only come together to argue, you have to do better. Effective communication is not something you just have or you're born with. You have to practice and you have to be taught.

It is very important that you surround yourself around people that know how to communicate effectively, that know how to fight fair, and they want to help your relationship succeed.

Communication is so important so work on it.

Why does it seem that when you've been in a relationship for a longtime that we seem to forget how to be kind to one another. I mean in the beginning it was nothing but hugs and kisses, but now it seems that we just wake up to make sure the other is breathing.

How do we wake up with an attitude? How is it that the first thing you say to your significant other is said with an attitude? Some of us are so bad that we don't say anything to one another unless it is a goodbye or see you late when it is time to go to work.

There isn't much that I want to say in this post, but I do want to encourage all the couples out there to wake up and give each other a kiss and a smile in the morning. I believe strongly in how you start will be how you will finish. I know that with every thing that goes on with life and relationships that sometimes it is a struggle to be nice to one another, but try.

Life really is too short to not at least show some kindness to the one you say you love.

In the morning greet one another with a kiss and a smile in the morning.

Testimony from Nakeesha: I am so thankful to God for my husband Kevin. He is so patient and giving. Because of these traits( there are many more) the more we become one, the more I glean from this quality and make it my own. It has taught me how to communicate and not argue AND how so much conflict can be avoided if patience, wisdom, prayer, and time take over. Thank you boo for being my gift and making me better. Thanks for letting me share!

Visit Relationships Simply Made:

Relationships Simply Made
relationshipssimplymade@gmail.com

lovethebestway.blogspot.com 

follow me on twitter: @relationshipjw

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In our relationships let's stop looking to be happy, but let's work to be healthy! Happiness changes with the seasons, but healthiness is a lifestyle!

I am not telling you that you're not to be happy in your relationships. As a matter of fact I believe that happiness or joy should be what you receive from being in relationships. However, we make the mistake to build our relationships on the fickleness of happiness and not on a stronger foundation like healthiness.

It is not possible to make someone happy. We lose out when we try to do "things" to please and make a person happy. We as human beings struggle with making and keeping ourselves happy, so how in the world can you make someone happy all the time and maintain your own happiness?

Relationships Simply Made proposes that we no longer go after a temporary change, but we seek a more stable foundation: Healthiness!

Seek healthiness and not happiness. Chase after the principles and attitudes that make a healthy relationship.

Healthy, Engaging, and Encouraging Communication

Healthy and Positive Intimacy 

Healthy and Intentional Quality Time 

Healthy and Empowering Conflict Resolution 

For Married Couples: Healthy, Exhilarating, Consistent: Sex, Sexual Communication, and Sexual Intimacy

Healthy, Consistent, Active Spiritual Life

Healthy Living: Exercise and Healthy Eating 

If you seek these things in your relationship believe me you will be rewarded with happiness. If you seek to only to be "pleased" in a relationship whether friendships or intimate relationships, you will be disappointed. However, seeking to be healthy holds each person accountable to managing their own emotions, communicating those feelings with those they are in relationship with, and bringing to whole people to the relationship. 

Healthiness equals Happiness. A healthy relationship promotes happiness in everyone working towards being healthy. 

Visit Relationships Simply Made:

Relationships Simply Made

relationshipssimplymade@gmail.com

lovethebestway.blogspot.com

follow me on twitter: @relationshipjw

Like us RSM on Facebook: facebook.com/RelationshipsSimplyMade

One of the most destructive things in a relationship is a lie. I know that there are things that we deem as "white lies" so I guess I am not talking about those. If you want to have an amazing, awesome, and astounding relationship here is my advice: "STOP LYING!"

Relationships Simply Made

Visit Relationships Simply Made:

Relationships Simply Made

relationshipssimplymade@gmail.com

lovetherightway.blogspot.com

follow me on twitter: @relationshipjw

Like us RSM on Facebook: facebook.com/RelationshipsSimplyMade

 

Why are you chasing after someone who does not want you? Why do you make it hard for yourself to get into a meaningful relationship because you are stuck on someone that is not interested in a relationship?

This can't be what you want out of life? I know that it seems hard to let go and find someone that wants what you want, but it can't work. A relationship can't be imaginary or one-sided.

If they say the love you but can't or won't commit to you, YOU need to MOVE ON!

So it has been a while since I have sat down at my computer and actually blogged. It is possibly because I have not had much time to do so. I mean with getting through the first year of marriage, a baby on the way, adjusting to being a father to a very active and determined 4-year-old, and now moving? Yes I have a lot to blog about, but finding the time to do it has been the issue.

I also have been trying to find a way to grab the attention of  the readers. How can I pull you in with what I write and keep you right here. How can I get you to comment and check out what I am writing. I have followers and I am really appreciative of that, but I am trying to find out how to keep you all interested and give me feedback.

So I am thinking of buying a new car and I am super excited about doing so. However I'm not looking forward to having a car note again. I understand though that I have to do this so that my family and I will have room when we travel and do things. So a SUV with a third row is what I am feeling. I just want to make sure we get a good deal because some of these dealerships try to destroy your pockets.

My wife is so beautiful pregnant and we are praying for a healthy baby.

So...

Whether it is in a dating relationship, domestic partnership, union, or marriage, cheating or the thought of cheating is something that one must deal with or overcome. It is within the best interest of your relationship and marriage to be open and honest on what you both view as cheating, how you both feel about cheating, and how you will both feel if you are cheated on. I know it may be a difficult conversation to have, but to ignore it; to believe that it wouldn't happen to you, could ultimately lead to you facing this relationship challenge sooner than you think.

Cheating is a growth or a subtle disease that lies dormant waiting for an opportunity to be fed and given life. It is possibly not even the norm for the person or persons it has now infected. The relationship is going well and the couple has found a good footing in their relationship. Things are working out and they are content. With this foundation in place, the couple begin to become comfortable within the realm of their relationship and forget to pay attention to each other. They forget to talk to one another, hang out with one another, and date one another; they forget to have non-chore-like sex with one another, and they forget to build one another up.

The growth begins to pulsate as it is now being fed doubt and insecurity. One or both individuals within the relationship may begin to feel neglected or hurt in some way, but they do not want to disrupt the nexus of their seemingly impenetrable relationship; it is working for them, "if it ain't broke don't fix it," and they ignore the signs and symptoms that their is a void forming within them and pretty soon their significant other won't be able to fill it.

Let me pause here and clarify some things. The person or persons that is progressively growing this void doesn't automatically revert to cheating. There is a difference in my opinion between a cheater and someone who has cheated. I know I said the same thing when I typed that last sentence, "what?" A cheater lives for cheating; cheating for the cheater is a thrill and a conscious way for them to seemingly have a successful relationship. The cheater says, "I cheat to make my relationship work. I cheat to make things interesting." This is not the case for someone who has allowed the cheating growth to develop within them from a lack of communication and honest expression of their growing displeasure with their relationship.

The growth begins to invade your thoughts and your decision making skills. It infects your hurt and pain and causes your perspective to become skewed. Issues within the relationship become bigger than what they really are and you begin to live in this, "It is better to not say anything than to deal with what is going on. I don't want to argue." <<<<< That statement right there is a killer.

Well I am going to stop right here because I don't want to lose you in a very long post. If you are interested in reading more. Comment on this post and ask for PT 2 to Cheating Growth or hit me up on Twitter at @jspotwriter or @relationshipjw with the hashtag #pleasewritePT2

The jwriter