Relationship Simply Made: Communication

“Communication is at the heart of intimate human relationships, it is literally the foundation on which all else is built,” David H. Olson.


The quote above says it all. I am telling you the truth that without communication there is no foundation on which your relationship can stand. I do understand that we struggle in relationships and life doesn't always make it easy for two people to get along, but if there is a conversation going on I believe that you can make it through anything.

A lot of times the issues isn't that we don't want to communicate, but the issues is that we don't know how to communicate effectively.

The first thing you have to do is learn how to listen more than talking. Listening goes beyond just the ability to hear. With listening you have to take in the information your are receiving and process it. You can't process what someone is saying if you are thinking of how to defend your point or negate what they are saying. So take the time to learn how to listen and to process, that way when it is your turn to speak, you can give them a sense that you heard what they said and acknowledge that you hear what they are trying to convey from what they have said.

You listen to gain an understanding and not a rebuttal when you are trying to communicate. If you are debating than building your case is just fine.

Secondly you want to learn how to speak to one another and not talk at one another. I have to work on this point in communicating effectively with my significant other. This is especially important when you and your spouse are discussing something that has your emotions boiling. The biggest thing to remember is to speak to one another how you would want to be spoken to. Be mindful of the level/tone you both are speaking to one another. That can happen by referring to step one and that is to listen. You want to get someone to stop yelling, don't join in on the yelling match with them. Most times people will come down to the level you're at. If that doesn't work, ask for a moment, and restart the conversation to see if that will get your engines cooled.

Yelling doesn't get your point across it only shows you have reached your limit in effectively communicating.

Finally you have to practice effective communication. If you are not speaking to each other or you only come together to argue, you have to do better. Effective communication is not something you just have or you're born with. You have to practice and you have to be taught.

It is very important that you surround yourself around people that know how to communicate effectively, that know how to fight fair, and they want to help your relationship succeed.

Communication is so important so work on it.