Someone please tell me what the butterflies are when you first start falling for a person. Where do they come from? Why do they form in the pit of your stomach when you see the person you like or are in love with? Are they really butterflies or is it gas? Whatever they are, they let you know that you are really feeling a person, you get excited, nervous, sweaty, anxious, hear-the-love-songs-playing-in-your-head whenever they are around, send you a text, an email, a Facebook post, or whatever.
You also get these butterflies the first time you kiss your significant other, the one your talking too, seeing, hanging with, or however you label the relationship. The fact is not the name, but its the butterflies that you get. It's like it makes the first kiss all the more exciting when those little bastards are swimming in your stomach and drinking the nectar in your heart, while you two in the real world are tasting the honey of each other's warm and gentle kiss. (Might be different for some people, but I want to think of the first kiss as honey and gentle LOL). These butterflies last for awhile and then all of the sudden...they're no longer there.
What does it mean when they leave? Does it mean your comfortable with the person? Does it mean that the excitement of the relationship no longer exist? Or does it mean that it was really just a bad case of gas? What happened to the butterflies.
First I want to say that we sometimes don't have control on how our body responds to physical, emotional, and verbal stimuli. Also I want to point out that each person is different and that some people get the butterflies and some never do. The most important thing I want you to get out of this Dating PTSD post is that YOU HAVE TO WORK HARD TO KEEP THE EXCITEMENT AND ENTHUSIASM IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP AFTER THE GROUNDWORK HAS BEEN LAID!!! If you don't you'll be spending your whole life getting in and out of relationships just trying to grab a hold of your butterfly moments/feelings.
OK so you're asking me how right??? Well first I want to start off with an old saying: "Do what you did to get the person to keep them." I know it sounds so easy, but this can be difficult and that's why the next saying is: "Don't ever get TOO comfortable." Of course I'm not saying to be insecure, bothersome, smothering, etc., but I am saying to never get too comfortable in your relationship that you are no longer ROMANTIC, FLIRTY, SEXY, CREATIVE, LOVING, KIND, COMPASSIONATE, PASSIONATE, and THOUGHTFUL. Also you have to remember that "Relationships TAKE WORK." We must learn how to make the work fun, exciting, and create the butterfly moments for ourselves. Empower yourself to create the butterfly moments.
So if you're feeling like you want the butterflies to come back into your thoughts and feelings for your boo; then create them, remember what made you fall for them, be romantic, be daring, and be honest within yourself-IF YOU'RE NOT WILLING TO DO THE WORK, DON'T WASTE THE OTHER PERSON'S TIME OR ENERGY.
Also listen to some love songs to jump start the little buggers to get the feeling again LOL.
Dating PTSD...You can overcome it!!!
2 comments:
wow, great post. you hit it right on the spot. Falling in love is easy but keeping the love is hard. I do agree with everything you said. I've discovered this first hand. You really mustn't get too comfortable with your special someone. I know the feeling.Sometimes my boyfriend gets so comfortable around me that he starts talking too much about sports and I have to remind him sometimes "Hello, I'm not one of the guys, I'm a girl, I'm your girlfriend!" I should probably let him read your blog post. =)
This was great. And you are absolutely right. I doubt it is gas..LOL..but as far as the butterfly feeling, it's normal, especially when something is new. Yes, more people need to hang on to those butterfly feelings more. We should get to the point that even after you've been married for years, you still get weak in the knees when they walk in a room. And it's important to keep the fire burning.
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