I woke up this morning in Kentucky surrounded by my friends and just feeling a peace that I haven't felt in such a long time. I also woke up to this television program that was talking about the peace that Jesus brings and the Love of God; for a moment I felt this wave of peace that just made me want to get close to God. This feeling made me want to call out to Him and ask Him to allow me to walk in His presence, to see His face, and allow His grace to take control of my life.

There was this song that the choir and praise team sang on the program:

Your Love Jesus Is Forever

Your grace never runs out, your mercy is never to far.

Well the song went something like that I can't remember it all because I was so caught up. I do know this, I was thankful, yes I was so very thankful at that moment in time that God just used that moment to speak to me and let me know that when I'm ready He is waiting with open arms. I love God so much and I've never stopped loving Him.

Fred Hammond has these lyrics that spoke to me:

Lord Your Love For Me Is Forever

Your Love For Me Is Forever

To Me There Is None Greater

To Me There is None Greater

Lord I thank you Lord for everything and I thank you for giving your Son to me and giving me Hope.

That Hope I've Found Again.

Working through anger when I get there is so hard for me to get past! It is like trying to swim through a rip tide especially if my buttons are pushed!

If your actions have wronged or offended anyone you should apologize and change your behavior!

Having standards in a relationship is very important! And sticking to your standards sets the tone for respect and love!

Often times we are plagued by the pain of our past and by the memories of the people, places, or things that have caused us pain. In trying to overcome the perils of person to person intimacy, we are often challenged with navigating through the nightmares or flashbacks of horrible and painful exes/relationships.

How do we let go of the past and do we ever fully let go of our past experiences? These are two questions that I often ask myself; seemingly there is no definitive answer that I have come up with. There are honestly moments where I feel nothing about my past and I believe that I have triumphed over the hurt that I have experienced. Then there are those moments when it has been revealed to me that my past hurt was just buried deep in my subconscious and was waiting for the right moment to come out, that moment being when I enter into a dating situation or a new relationship.

How do you let go of the past? I believe that you must first acknowledge that you have a past. Acceptance is an incredible healing agent, when applied properly, it will allow you to walk down the path towards healing. Accepting that you have had painful past relationships will not only help you sort out the emotions you have, but it may even help you talk to your new beau about the problems you once had and what you would like to avoid in this new relationship with them. I'm not telling you to divulge all your past problems, but definitely the important ones you should discuss.

We should apply the lessons we have learned from our past. This is probably the most important step in the process of letting go. Application is the key to letting go and if you are able to identify where things went wrong, identify the qualities you don't want in a person, or identify the qualities within yourself that led to some painful interactions; this can possibly save you from entering into another dating situation and facing the same problems from before. Applying what you have learned may help you towards a healthy and nearly painless new relationship.

Never hold your new interest responsible for the pain your ex caused you in the past. This step is self explanatory. Don't hold them responsible, don't make them pay for the mistakes of your past, and definitely don't move on to something new if you're unable to not view them under the same microscope you viewed your ex.

Seek help. Yes by reading this post you have taken the steps towards getting some good, solid, and healthy outside perspective. I encourage you though to possibly confide in a friend you can trust or going to a counselor to assist you with letting go of the past hurts. Seek spiritual guidance or encouragement from a spiritual leader. Whatever you do find someone you can trust and talk to them about your desire to move forward and the hurt that you can't seem to let go of. Seeking outside perspective might just be the kick you need to help move you in the right direction.

Finally just make the decision to let go. Your past is your past, your ex is your ex (or should be), and it is time now for you to move on with your life. Making the decision to let go gives you the power to say I'm stronger than my past hurts and I want a chance to be happy. Yeah maybe you will have a flashback here or there, or something will remind you of your past hurts, but if you're taking the steps to let go of your past you are going to let it go. Decide to let go and you will.

Dating PTSD we can overcome it...

Life is never what you expect, but you shouldn't let it stop you from reaching the top!

If you subscribe to the school of thought that marriage just takes work; yeah this post may not be for you.

I know for a FACT that no relationship is easy, but I also know that we don't have to treat our relationships like a nine to five that we loathe. I especially believe that those who are married don't have to treat there marriage as a tedious job that must be done.

The way to make it not some loathsome enslavement is to make the decision to not treat your marriage like a job. That you honestly make the decision not to look at the things you can do to help your marriage grow as work. It is truly all in the decisions that we make. We decide whether we give our all to something or to only give a little bit of what we have. Perception is an amazing power, a power that we all have, but haven't fully understood the consequences of such an awesome ability. It is in perception that we make the decisions on how we will approach, handle, and respond to a situation and/or the people in said situations.

Just make the decision to be the best person in your marriage. Make the decision to work through your problems effectively and not be counterproductive. Make the decision to love, honor, and cherish your spouse. It is something that I believe is very simple and it lies in the decisions that we make. A marriage takes two and it takes those two people to make the decision to make it work. The work doesn't have to be arduous, but instead make the decision to make the work fun or rather not even work at all.

It is all in your perception, just make the decision to perceive it from a positive standpoint and you'll be on your way from reading all the crap I have to say and onto making a happy, enjoyable, and fun filled marriage with half the work, but the whole perspective.

This next statement has to be a line in one or two of the books I will eventually write.

"Everything that you've read about dating has been a lie, or at least a distorted, opinionated, and drawn out delusion of what someone has deemed as truth. The truth is it is just a hyped up version of their own experiences and we take it all in just to be soothed from our own failures in dating and relationships. Yes I, the Great Joe, am about to tell you some truthful lies, the difference is I'm being upfront with you and telling you that this is just based on my perception; my version on how I think we should navigate the painful perils of person to person intimacy." --Joseph Snider

The truth about relationships stands on these eight words: we have no idea what we are doing! That is the absolute truth my friends and there is no way around it. Navigating through a relationship is like trying to find a needle in a haystack. No matter how much we say we want the best, we want this, or they must have that; we either end up being totally attracted to the opposite, or we end up sad and alone with our impossible standards.

The truth is we never really have much truth, because we can't even be honest with our own selves. We can't handle hearing the truth about who we are or we can hardly stand looking at ourselves in the mirror. But we hold those we enter into relationship with under a microscope and try to analyze them into what we want them to be.

If you want to know the truth about relationships; stop looking for a cure all or an easy fix. Look to where real truth lies. I find my real truth in my relationship with Christ and through his love for me. Maybe that is not where you find your truth, but I can tell you this much, you won't find the truth about relationships reading another person's truth or their experiences. You possibly won't find it in someone giving you a checklist of do's and dont's. You will never ever find it just sitting at home waiting for the truth about relationships to come smack you in the face. What you will find is loneliness and isolation.

Or maybe you will find out that the truth is you can't stand being in a relationship with yourself. Now that's some real truth.

Dating PTSD we can overcome it...

I see her and I'm in love all over again

I'm spinning in a circle of a dark void

I was so surprised that I was spoken too! It was the first time that I felt I existed!

Man just sitting down at this computer and actually blogging feels crazy...

So...

So I'm sitting in church this past Sunday thinking about how I still feel so distant and disconnected from everyone. I feel like I'm still on this far away island and though I can see everyone; the current in the ocean of emotions and spiritual praises is slowly pulling me away from the people that I've been around for years. At the same time I felt this peace and I felt like I was at home again. I can't explain these mixed feelings I've had, but it felt good to actually say I was home. It just felt so good to be in church again and hear the word of God preached. I'm ready to get back to God and I really truly need to be close to God again.

So I've haven't even felt like home with my friends either. My friends have been wonderful; the ones that have remain unchanged have been wonderful and I'm thankful for them, but I feel so far away from them. I feel like if I was suddenly missing that life would go on and the the truth of the matter is it would. So what can I do to improve this? I don't want to feel like I'm forcing them to interact me or like I need to be coddled. but instead I just want things to feel natural again? I'm slapping myself in the face right now because I feel like this normality is what I have fought against.

So once again it was uncomfortable. Things did not have to be this way. I just feel like I'm being punished, but there is nothing I can really do. Those are the times when I miss my good, goofy, and fun loving friend. Oh well that's life.

So...

I can't stop thinking about how much I need to blog, but can't find the time or the motivation.