Are Relationships?

"Relationships are for people who are waiting for something better to come along," Sera Melas from Hitch.

Ahh I think I can sit and listen to Eva Mendes speak her lines as the cynical and feisty Sera Melas anytime, but the line quoted above made me think about whether or not what relationships really are for people. Are we really that afraid of loneliness that we get into relationships to escape that feeling? Do we waste time, risk rejection, possibly face heartbreak; just to pass the time for something or someone better to come along? When she said this I was caught up in super romantic mode after watching The Holiday and this line got me to thinking about what relationships are. Let me just say that The Holiday is a really great movie and everyone should watch it...(Thanks Angel for telling me to watch it). Anyway that is the question what are relationships for?

Are relationships a way to prepare for the final ultimate relationship? It would seem from the way that Sera Melas commented on not wanting to be in a relationship, that she viewed relationships as a placeholder for the future ultimate relationship (whatever that is for you: marriage, c0habitation, lifelong dating partner, etc) and if you view relationships this way tell me how do you deal with all the emotional and mental baggage that comes along with dating someone and in the back of you mind you are just "using" them as the comma to finding your period. I think maybe the experience that you get from the different relationships are important but I think it is dangerous territory to date or be in a relationship just because you're waiting for something better to come along. That isn't fair to the person you're dating and it honestly isn't fair to the one you will be with.

Are relationships a way to escape loneliness? Well if they are tell me how you deal with the whole notion that you can be lonely even in a relationship. This one is really easy, getting into a relationship to escape loneliness may have you end up even more lonely, because the truth is loneliness is a feeling, feelings are often fickle like the people that experience them, and getting into a relationship with feelings of loneliness may not go away simply because you're with someone. No what needs to happen is for you to deal with the loneliness first, recover from whatever you've been dealing with, and then find you're way to a happy and meaningful relationship that will be full with its own drama; with no extra additives brought along by two people who were trying to escape loneliness.

Are relationships hard work? Yes and no. The relationship is only hard if the people in them make them hard. What's hard is realizing that it's actually better to be honest, upfront, caring, thoughtful, romantic, and wonderful; instead of the drama of lying about who you are and what you want, becoming comfortable to the point you no longer treat the person the way you did in the beginning, not being honest enough with yourself and saying that you love the drama that you bring to the relationship, or not being honest enough with yourself to say you love the drama that the other person brings to the relationship; yes this is what makes relationships hard: trying to control the person or being controlled, rather then enjoying one another and letting things flow. Trying to change someone into what you want them to be is what makes relationships hard. You can't change anyone, as a matter of fact you can't even change yourself, and please try it...see for yourself. Yes work can be challenging, but it doesn't have to be hard, and challenges can be enjoyable.

Whatever relationships are I hope everyone is out there making the most out of the relationships they are in. Try not to break any hearts and please don't break hearts on purpose. Be real and upfront, smile and laugh, and most of all let things flow.

Did I mention I think Eva Mendes is beautiful???