The Perfect One or The One That's Right At This Moment

Let me just start off by saying that I do not by any means put down people who believe in the perfect one. At one point in my life I used to believe in it, deep down in the dark recesses of my mind, but I'm writing this to just put out there what I think. I'm not really sure if I've written about this subject before, but hey it never hurts to say something again.





I don't believe that there is a "perfect one" out there. I mean I can't believe that in a world filled with millions of people that there is one person made just for another person. To me it is a fairy tale, Cinderella "glass slipper", happens to one person every three-thousand years kind of thing, but for the rest of us, I believe in "the one that's right at this moment" kind of thing. Hey you can blame it on my failed relationships, the loss of that child like belief that the one for you is out there, and just the overall need for me to balance real life from fantasy; whatever we blame my view on the perfect one on; let me be clear and say once again, that if you believe in the perfect one "right on", but if you want to hear what I think on the subject continue reading.



I feel that if we have this belief in the perfect one for us, that we are wasting our time, treasures, and good qualities dating instead of waiting on our perfect one. I also believe that if we are dating, getting into relationships, and so forth, that we may have ruined our "ONE" chance with the perfect one, or that we have passed them by. Not to mention if we get into a relationship with this really great person and we're all in love with the person that is not our perfect one, then the perfect one comes along and we can't be with them without hurting the one we are with. Is there a perfect one? What would that person look like? What would they be like? How would they smell? What would their personality be like? And if we did find the perfect one, would we be perfect enough to love, cherish, and appreciate them?

See this is why I believe in "the one that's right at this moment" perspective. Its a balance between the fairytale fall in love perspective, but doesn't fall into the pessimistic, I'll never find the right one perspective either. This is the person that you took time to get to know. This one is someone you enjoy being with, going out on dates, talking on the phone to. The one at this moment is someone you can be friends with, but you both know you could be more. The one who you may argue with sometimes, but you both like each other so much you're willing to work on it. The one that you realize that there is a possibility you may make it to whatever the end goal is for the both of you (whether an eternal companionship/marriage) or (companionship/co-habitation adult relationship), whatever works for you guys, or that you realize that you are better off as just friends or nothing at all; the fact remains that you haven't given up on life, you've hopefully learned something from the relationship, and that you can find someone who will be the one that's right at the moment and possibly enter into where you both want to go.

Please don't get me confused as the guy who wants to be a serial dater or perpetual boyfriend. Also don't get me confused with the guy who wants casual sexual encounters, honestly I've never been to good at either of those situations. Instead honestly I'm a hopeless romantic, who is a lover of experiences, and wants to one day find my queen(ha), cherish my treasure, and find a "good thing", i.e. I want to be married and truly be a one woman man, but I'm not searching for the perfect one and I don't believe in the perfect one either. I've learned a few things in my life, one is that although we men think we are in control, the truth is that the woman is in control in the beginning. I know some of you laugh, but the truth is we have to come up with a "game plan", a player routine, a sexy quirk or catch-phrase, or whatever we do to try to gain the attention of a woman and hope that she will bite. I don't care how ugly the world may say you are, how nerdy, how built, handsome, clever, funny, attractive, amazing, your gentleman qualities, or how good you are in bed; the truth of the matter is that if a woman wants you nothing and I mean nothing in this world will stop her from possessing you. And if she doesn't want you nothing in this world would make her look your way. Now what happens after that point or if you're into the whole game of control, that's all up to you guys, but again in the initial phase the woman holds all the "spades".

I digress; the point of that was for us as men and women to understand that in order for us to even begin to obtain the perfect one for us; either God himself will have to create that person right next to us as we sleep, or we would have to have this innate tracking device to find our perfect one. If we don't have this then we have to either be patient and wait for the perfect one to find us, or we have to enjoy the moments that we have with the right one at this moment; hopefully we realize what we have with this person, we appreciate them and the way they make us feel, they treat us right, and we ask God for guidance; hopefully we see this and we take the chance to make the one that's right at this moment, the one that's right for many more moments to come.

My father didn't raise no fool...

Don't let a good thing pass you by because of someone else's foolishness and especially not for your own foolishness.

Be selfish all you want and let your right one pass you by, but don't be selfish enough to get in the way of their happiness when they find someone else, and that someone else recognizes them as a good thing or a great person.

Life throws things at you, but the perfect one is found not created...or are they?

I'm just hoping one day my moment stays with me (and he smiles)