I have to shake my head at your foolishness. Don’t be with me and you know you can’t be faithful. You know damn well that you lie next to me, but you’re thinking of someone else. I have to laugh to keep from crying. You hold me and yet you wish you were holding them. I might not smell them on you, but I feel it when you kissed me. You’re dreaming of them right now, but you’re with me. You cheat on me in your fantasies, you don’t even think about the way I feel.
Stop
You know you want someone else, but you continue to be with me. With my friend though? You thought I wouldn’t find out you’ve been seeing your ex the whole time. You come home not wanting to hold me or be intimate, because you’ve found your enjoyment with someone else. You flaunt your flirtations in my face. You dangle my feelings for you on a hook. You lead me on making me feel like you’re feeling me, but all the while you’ve just been feeling the attention I give you, because the person you want won’t give you any attention. That’s messed up that you would play me like that.
Stop
Don’t say you love me when you know you don’t. Don’t invest so much time into this relationship when you know it’s going to end. Why are we together if all you’re ever going to do is cheat on me? Why are we together if you know you don’t want to marry me or you can’t marry me? Oh I’m good enough to sleep with or have sex with, to live up in my house, but I’m not good enough for you to marry. I’m good enough to have children with, but you can’t be faithful to me. Oh you have crossed the line bringing me a sexually transmitted disease. Oh snap you bought another child home that isn’t mine?
Stop
With the I love you’s or the baby I’m sorry, because I don’t want to hear it anymore. I don’t want to hear you can change. We exchanged vows, you told me you would never hurt me, you said you cared for me. Oh now you feel bad because I’m hurt, now you feel remorseful because I found out. You were all in on it too. Everyone knew except me and you played me like a fool. I was your security, your source of income, your source of strength. I was also your slave and I can’t blame this all on you because I knew it. I knew what was going on, but I didn’t want to face the truth.
Stop
I thought I would feel better if I did the same thing to you, but I don’t. I gave you a chance to be honest, but you couldn’t be honest. What?? You had a whole other family on the side? You have children that I don’t know about? You loved them and gave them a family; the one thing you couldn’t give me?
Stop just please stop.
Stop
Joseph is a Licensed Graduate Social Worker in the Washington, DC area. Joseph is the author of the forthcoming book “Love Me Right or Not at All”, A Quick Guide to Loving Yourself and Others the Healthy Way. This book seeks to assist everyone who reads it to love with balance and give love to the right people. Joseph is striving to become an expert in the practice of relationship empowerment. He strives to build healthy, powerful, and well-balanced relationships in the lives of everyone who seeks after the knowledge, values, and skills Joseph has honed over the last ten years. Joseph is an aspiring Marriage and Family Therapist, but to also travel around the nation and hopefully the world, to spread the message that relationships can be simple, yet amazing if you put in the work. Relationships are vital to the human experience and often shape our mindsets, our personalities, and our environments. Knowing this, Joseph works to encourage not only those who believe in his skills, but also works passionately to build his knowledge and skills in the area of relationships to present the best of who he is both personally and professionally.
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