It was not long ago that I made up in my mind that the ideal relationship was one without arguments. Now I do understand that there will be disagreements or debates, but I looked at arguments as negative and unhealthy; I didn't want to have any at all. We could disagree, but we don't have to argue. Well my bubble was popped and I've come to the conclusion now that even the healthiest of relationships will have arguments, but you can have arguments that will help build the relationship and not destroy it. How can this happen?

This can happen:

1. If both individuals have an understanding that they are individuals, individuals who have different thoughts, feelings, opinions, and perspectives on dealing with life situations.
2. If you have worked and are both continuing to work on building strong communication skills and practices. This includes listening to what the other person is saying, repeating back to the person what they have said, and trying to gain an understanding of why they are saying it. "Listening doesn't mean you are quiet and waiting for them to finish so you can have your turn just to dispute what they have said." Don't listen just to build your defense or your argument.
3. Say what you mean or state what you are really feeling. Be honest. Don't beat around the bush.
4. Don't just focus on what they did wrong, but try stating or understanding of where you may have fallen short.
5. Try your best not to belittle the person or put them down i.e. "you're stupid", "you're not a good person", "you make me sick," etc.
6. Stay away from saying things like you "never" or you "always". Try and pinpoint what has brought up the argument and come up with solutions together. Also try not to bring up the past or arguments that have already occurred.
7. Try your best to remain calm, refrain from yelling, screaming at one another, and learn to admit when you are wrong. Also learn to forgive and to move forward.

In dating do you find yourself with PTSD? LOL ;)

• A woman who wants me. There's no question in her mind that I'm the man for her.

• A woman who is whole and doesn't need me to make her whole, but wants me to compliment her wholeness. (I will also be a whole person and she will compliment me).

• A woman who has a relationship with Jesus Christ.

• A woman who can pray for me.

• A woman that will worship with me.

• A woman who respects me and who wants to be respected.

• A woman who will be honest with me no matter what.

• A woman who has my back and will be there for me, especially when I need her the most.

• And I have to become the man that will be able to love, honor, and cherish a woman with these qualities.

Oh Freedom!
Oh Freedom I call for you!
Not in chains this black man is no longer in.
Not in the oppression of another race’s self-proclaimed superiority.
My own people we enslave ourselves, kill ourselves, rape ourselves of our own freedom, our own culture, we forget our own history.

Whom the Son sets free is free indeed!
The Senate passed it on April 8th, 1864
The House of Representatives on January 31st, 1865
The 13th Amendment stated that, “Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, except as a punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted, shall exist within the United States, or any place subject to their jurisdiction,” and yet my African Americans, and yet my beautiful people, and yet the children of those who fought so bravely for this freedom, we continue to stay in these chains of our own self ignorance.
The chains of sin bind us because we will not hear God’s words, nor read it, nor cling
to the sense of family our ancestors once embraced. Survival of the fittest and every African Amer-ri-can black man for themselves.

Don’t you hear freedom crying?
Can’t you see her tears?
Why sit in the back of the bus, not teach our children morals, instill in them values?
Why not teach them the lessons that were taught to us of self-worth, of love, of great power?
Power of the words we read, the power within the pen,
the power to love one another, to honor God, and be proud of their skin?

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. said, “In a sense we have come to our nation's capital to cash a check. When the architects of our republic wrote the magnificent words of the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence, they were signing a promissory note to which every American was to fall heir. This note was a promise that all men, yes, black men as well as white men, would be guaranteed the unalienable rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness,” and yet we spit upon these rights every day.

Black mothers are unhappy for there are not strong Black men to raise their sons; who die on the street daily, in alleys, in gutters, all with the power of another Black man’s gun. Black daughters are in need of lessons to be virtuous woman proud and strong. Not to be mistreated, abused, and pregnant at an early age, or left to figure out the world on their own. Is this the unalienable rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness the slaves died for and the colored people of yesterday marched for?

Or maybe my perception is off. And I’m the one who’s blind. Or today will we make a change and continue the fight for freedom our ancestors once fought for.

Cry out like Maya Angelou and proclaim that you are free:
“Did you want to see me broken? Bowed head and lowered eyes?Shoulders falling down like teardrops. Weakened by my soulful cries. You may shoot me with your words, You may cut me with your eyes, You may kill me with your hatefulness, But still, like air, I'll rise. Out of the huts of history's shame I rise Up from a past that's rooted in pain I rise I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.Leaving behind nights of terror and fear I rise Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear I rise Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,I am the dream and the hope of the slave. I rise I rise I rise,”

Will we rise and make our dreams come true?
To break free from the chains of modern day.
To take the opportunities to better ourselves, our family, friends, and
no longer become negative statistics or keep our own people in bondage.
It starts with Jesus and the freedom that he brings.
It starts with forgiveness, with love, healing, and family.
Look at yourself and ask the question did I set one of my brother and sisters free to day
with my actions or words. Or did I further strengthen the iron in the chains the enemy has placed on them.

Oh Freedom I call for you.
No Lord Jesus I call for you.
Before I be a modern day slave
Lord I’ll be buried in my grave.
Jesus my freedom set my people free.

Key Scriptures:


Romans 5:7-8: 7For scarcely for a righteous man will one die: yet peradventure for a good man some would even dare to die. 8But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. (Unconditional Love)

John 3:16: For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. (Giving)


Subject: If You Liked It Then You Should Have Put A Ring On It.

So I know that some of you are wondering, “why in the world is the title of his topic, the chorus for that new Beyonce’ song.” Well let me bring a cure for your curiosity. Besides it being one of the greatest videos made for a man. Let me just be clear, Beyonce made this video for men and believe me I know I’m not the only man that thinks so. Now it has a message of empowerment to women and a warning to men, but to get the man’s undivided attention Beyonce is anything less than subtle. She shows us what we want to see, but she makes it very clear that if you liked it you should have put a ring on it. Signifying that; all of this could have been yours (whoever the idiot that let her go was) just by making a commitment.


So I took a queue from Beyonce and put it into a spiritual perspective; I feel that God is looking for us (whether you’re a sinner, or a Christian) to commit to being in a relationship with Him. And like Beyonce has done in her video, God is laying everything out on the table or in other words; through the scriptures I will share, God is saying if you like what you hear, if you want the blessings I will give to you, and if you want me to make you whole and for heaven to be your home, than you have to put a ring (commit to me, make a promise) on it.

So what should someone interested in being in a relationship with you bring to the table?

God brings (Unconditional Love to the Table) - Romans 5:7-8. Now isn’t that amazing that God; despite our past, loves us enough to not care about where we’ve been, how mean we are, how much money we make, how good our grades are, if our shoes are new, fresh hair cut or hair do, smelling all nice, no God accepts us for who we are and even while we were in sin Christ died for us.


God is a GIVER- (John 3:16) - How many people have encountered someone in a relationship who was selfish? They want it their way or no way at all. So why are we not able to commit to the One who was willing to give His only Son to die for us? Oh we can commit to Lisa or to Bobby; who puts us down and only takes from us, and we will try everything in our power to make the relationship work; hoping that they will change. If you like what God is bringing to the relationship you better put a ring on it.

God is a LISTENER- Psalm 6:9- 9The LORD hath heard my supplication; the LORD will receive my prayer. OK who in this room wants someone to listen to them? To ask you how your day is going and actually sit down and listen to you talk about your day? Well God will do just that and more. He is not only willing to listen to whatever you have to say, but he is willing to do something with the information. He takes action.
Are you still not convinced to make a promise to a fulfilling relationship with God? Ok I will give you some more reasons why you need to put a ring on it.


God is FAITHFUL And FORGIVING-I John 1:9- 9If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (Do I need to even go into wanting to be in a relationship where you know you both will be faithful?) If you still don’t like it and won’t put a ring on it. God is still willing to be faithful even when were unfaithful to Him.

Shoot if you won’t put a ring on this relationship let me talk to someone that will.


God is a PROVIDER- John 14:2- In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. He’s going to provide a personalized mansion for you. (Forget living in an apartment or a house, God’s got it so good and loves us so much He is building a mansion just for you) Still don’t want to commit ok how about this.
Philippians 4:19- 19But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.


Please if you like it then please put a ring on it. See some people don’t have any standards, so this kind of relationship won’t appeal to everybody, but for those of us that understand you’re not going to easily find a man or a woman to do all of this and still tolerate our imperfections, to deal with us when we’re not in the best of moods, to take care us when we are sick, to help pay our bills, oh somebody is feeling me up in here.

God is a PROTECTOR- Psalm 91:1-2 1He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. 2I will say of the LORD, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust. Psalm 3:3- But thou, O LORD, art a shield for me; my glory, and the lifter up of mine head.

If you like it then put a ring on it.


Finally God brings EMOTIONS- God has emotions that he expresses. He gets happy, he gets sad, but He also gets jealous. No for real God is so passionate about us, He is passionate about us spending time with Him; that when we put other people first, when we love our materials more, we love our money more, our TV shows, our jobs, or we put other gods before Him; He gets jealous. Exodus 20:5- Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the LORD thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me.

So maybe I still haven’t convinced you that being in a committed relationship with God is worth it; study these scriptures I’ve given you and see for yourself whether or not God is the perfect choice.


But please don’t wait until it is too late for you to make the decision to choose Christ. You really don’t want to be caught in heaven without making a commitment to follow Christ and God saying “If you liked it you should have put a ring on it,”

Entry 5-

I just spent the last few hours fighting not to give into temptation. It was difficult today. Why is this such a difficult course. I guess just doing something so great is meant to be met with great challenge.

But I'm happy with my decision, but deep down in the midst of the prayer, the resisting, and the overcoming; deep within I wanted to give in...I'm listening to Jill Scott's Celibacy Blues.Lord

Jesus give me strength!

So I just wanted to update everyone and let them know that my blog has changed. I've combined my two blogs into one and my blog's web address is joe4chirst.blogspot.com I hope you guys are still able to enjoy. Thanks and please read and comment.

GOD I just want to tell you that I love you!

Thank you for everything and all that you are!

Thank you for your SON JESUS the CHRIST!THANK YOU FOR DYING FOR ME LORD JESUS!!!

God I just want to tell you that I love you.

Entry 10-

OK so I need to be honest about some things. I've been more unhappy with being celibate than happy about being celibate.I've relapsed into some old habits of visual and physical self-gratification (email me if you need me to spell it out for you)I've been wanting to quit being celibate so that I can do what I want...seeing as though everybody else in the world seems to be able to do what they want.I'm tired of all the responsibility and I just want to cut loose.(THIS ALL HAS HAPPENED WITHIN A MONTH)So I'm back trying to fix my life and start back again. I'm back in church from my two week break... being away from church has played a major role in my lack of defenses against my flesh, mind, and the devil. I've also identified that I need to put GOD FIRST!!! I need to really get into my Bible and read it. I also really need to surround myself around people who will encourage me in my state of celibacy and I need to continue to build up my defense: No Zane books or TV shows. (That new Sex Chronicles TV show on Cinemax is dangerous...don't watch it it will have you messed up), of course stay away from pornography in all forms even down to the movies that can be sexually explicit. Stop looking at women with my lustful eyes (oh this is my greatest downfall), watch my mouth and conversations (even dirty talk over text messaging). Finally I need to stay prayed up and keep my eyes fixed towards living a life pleasing in the eyes of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.I'm happy I've made the decision to be celibate and to work on not pleasing my flesh or compromising at all to fulfill my need for sexual gratification in other ways. If you know Christ and you know how to pray please keep me lifted up.

"I rather live my life believing there is a God and find out it isn't one, then to live my life not believing in God and find out He was real," Anonymous

I can't understand why God loves me the way He does? I mean He loves me... me people...And what's really sad about it is that He means it. God's love isn't artificial like the love we crave from another person... Now I'm not saying all human to human love is artificial, but it seems to me that we fight for that kind of love more than the love that God offers freely to us. No strings attached kind of love.I just discovered that I'm a cheater. I should really be on one of those shows where they catch you cheating. I know people who know me will say no not Joe, well to a woman I'm dating no I wouldn't step out on her with another woman, but one person I'm not committed to is My Lord and Savior.

I don't spend anytime with Him for real and most things come first before my personal time I'm supposed to spend with Him. Now some of you are saying.. Joe you go to church every Sunday, your facebook and myspace reflect how much in love you are with God, Joe you're 24 years old and you're sold out for Christ. And all this maybe true, but it's the stuff you don't see that matters more.I need to change and the first step for me is revealing that I don't have it all together and there is some work that needs to be done. I do have so much love for God, but I have to put that love and commitment before everything and everyone else in order to be fully dedicated to Him.

I just felt like writing...

Entry 9

You know all I've written in this journal is how sad or how hard it's been being celibate. The purpose of this journal was to encourage others not to discourage them. So here it is this entry will tell you about the stuff I haven't said. The good stuff.

I'm not guilty!!! When I go to church or when I'm praying I don't have to worry about repenting for the same sin (fornication). It feels good that I've finally made a decision to be stronger than my flesh, my sexual urges, and my lustful thoughts. I'm stronger.Other people are encouraged by my commitment to abstain from sex until I'm married. I've even met other young people who are determined to wait until they are married to have sex.

It is very encouraging to know that I'm stronger because of this decision. It is good to know that I don't have to worry about STD's, AIDS, HIV, or anything like that because I'm not doing anything. I feel empowered because I'm not driven to have sex to fit in or to feel like a man, but I'm willing to wait until the Lord sends me my wife that I can have all the blessed guilt free sex I want with. (A HUGE SMILE ON MY FACE).

I'm happy because I made the decision to wait and it wasn't forced on me.

Entry 8-

Joe you must not give up. (I'm writing this to myself) Although you've fallen in the past, God has given you another chance. You've made the decision to not have sex again until you are married. It is no longer a burden, but a blessing. A blessing because you're still alive to make the decision to live for God. Although people don't believe you can do it, press on despite everything. In the end when you stand before God in the judgment room, it will just be you and the Almighty. You won't be able to say I went back on my promise cause nobody believed I can do it. Put your trust in Him and not into the people around you, not into your flesh, not into sex, not into loneliness you may face, not into what the world says you should do, and not what people think a twenty something young man should be doing; no Joe put your trust in Jesus. You've made an awesome decision to wait for your wife. So give up everything that pertains to the flesh and live for Christ and His will.

Sincerely,

Joe

Romans 5:8- "But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us,"

Now there are a lot of powerful scriptures in the Bible, but this one is one of my many favorite scriptures. I will probably have more blogs on it soon. I still can't believe that someone died for me. Like you see and you hear about it in movies, and occassionally you'll have someone heroic enough to do it in our time, but to have the Supreme Being come down from heaven, look at the past, present, and future of mankind, know all of our sins; to know that some of us will doubt him, that some of us will deny him, that some of us won't even believe in God; He's still said, "while they are yet sinners I will die to save them," I can't convince you to believe in Jesus Christ or that He really is the Way, The Truth, and THE LIFE, but I can tell you that I'm so glad that while I was a sinner, CHRIST DIED FOR ME! Guess what whether you believe it or not He died for you too.

Now tell me who is willing to die for you?

Entry 7-

Remain faithful! That's what I've been telling myself. I have to remain faithful to Christ, to my well-being, and to my word. I told myself that I wasn't going to have sex again until I'm married! I no longer need to be convinced of that, I'm determined to reach my goal, but my, the unconscious part of my mind is not convinced or doesn't want to give up without a fight.My dreams are getting hot and heavy if you know what I mean. Maybe you don't so I will spell it out for you. My dreams are getting more sexually explicit and dangerous. My automatic thoughts are more lustful and suggestive than ever before. Sometimes, my faithful readers, my conversations are even finding a way to become more sexually driven than ever before.So what do I do? I fight and I fight smart! I have to increase my prayer life and dive deep into the Word of God. Although I'm very lazy and consumed with school, the activities I participate at church, and trying to enjoy my life; I can't forget to spend time with God and preparing for battle each day.I've learned just because I declared that I wasn't going to participate in the physical action of sex anymore doesn't mean I can ignore the spiritual battle that is happening not just in the spirit realm, but also in my mind.

Joyful Suffering

Scripture: Romans 8:17- Now if we are children, then we are heirs-heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may share in his glory.

The title says joyful suffering, but how often do we rejoice when we suffer? How in the world can anyone tell you to be joyful or find pleasure in suffering; when most times suffering hurts? What kind of suffering is ever pleasurable? When do we as Christians ever say man I can’t wait to my storm comes, or I can’t wait till I become broke and penniless or even Lord send me some trials right now! Does this sound like something you would say? If it does after reading this send me an email, write me a letter, or schedule a dinner so we can meet and you can tell me how you do it! Suffering isn’t pleasant, suffering isn’t something that we want, and suffering isn’t something that God wants for us. So the question is why do we SUFFER?I can give you many answers to this question, I don’t know, because the world is evil, because we did something wrong, and whatever else the human mind can possibly try to come up with to logically explain why the Christian suffers. What I want to do is give you some biblical reasons why we suffer and what we have to do when we suffer.

The first reason that we suffer I believe is that we are to be Christ-like! People think that this means that we only have to go to church like Jesus did, know the scriptures like Jesus did, be baptized like Jesus was, and turn the other cheek if someone slaps you. Well the truth is we are, but often times we don’t do this, but suffering, temptations, and trails we don’t ask for; yet they still come. Well Jesus didn’t ask for his sufferings either! Jesus did not ask to be tempted by the devil, or to be nailed on the cross, but He did suffer those things, and what did they do? Jesus’ suffering made God proud to call him His son. God was pleased with Jesus, for accepting the suffering that was to come, and pushing through it. Also Jesus’ suffering gave him all power, and that same power we can have, but we can’t expect to share in His power and his glory, if we are not willing to suffer as well.I also believe we suffer so that we can become stronger. Let me say that we can’t keep complaining when suffering or trails come, because we miss what we were supposed to learn when we do. We spend all of our time during our storms complaining about them; we miss what we were supposed to learn. We miss what we were supposed to gain from this storm or this trail. We miss the power God was trying to give us from this storm, because we did not focus on him, but we focused on the storm. And if the truth be told that’s why most of us are still in our storms, because we are not willing to change our focus from our suffering, and put our focus on God who can bring you through it.

Stop letting your storms go to waste! If you know God can bring you out then trust in that! If you read the rest of Romans chapter 8 you’ll see that all though you suffer you become more than a conqueror.The last reason I think we suffer is so that we can learn to praise God no matter what, and that we prepare to reap the glory or the fruits of our sufferings. I often here preachers say it is easy to praise God when things are going good, but can you do it in the midst of your storms. Paul says in Romans chapter 5 verses 3-4, “Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance, and perseverance character, and character hope,” Paul says this not out of inexperience, but he knew great suffering and he ended up writing almost half of what we call the New Testament of God’s word.The biggest thing that I got out of the scripture above is that we should never isolate ourselves in our sufferings. Notice that in both scriptures that it says we share in his sufferings, and we also rejoice in our sufferings.

So stop suffering on your own, don’t give the devil the power to conquer you, because you want to be depressed and handle things by yourself. Get you some friends to pray with you, to fast with you, and to praise with you; not because you are suffering, but that you’re going to come out stronger because of it. Sorry this was so long, but this is speaking into my life as well.Be blessed and through Christ’s sufferings, “God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us,” Romans 5:8.

Entry 6

It has been awhile since I've updated my journal. A part of it stems from the fact that I've kind of lost my excitement for posting about my celibacy. The initial shock is gone and I'm afraid that people will lose interest. Then I thought about my reason for doing it. It isn't about my feelings, but it is about sharing my story with the world so they can come to know Christ. Its also about showing people that Christians are not perfect and that we make mistakes. The difference should be that we shouldn't keep sinning, but that we should repent and turn away from the sin and back to God.So for the past couple of nights I've found myself wanting to turn back. My dreams have become more vivid and my thoughts more lustful. I've had to pray not to give into the temptation of having sex, staying away from situations that would lead me down such roads, and pray that I don't find other ways to please my flesh sexually (i.e. masturbation, pornography, lusting with my eyes and mind, etc.) I've been accomplishing this through the strength I get from God, prayer, self-control, and reading my word. Also school and my internship keeps me busy.I pray that someone will grow from this. I pray that I will not give in.

Prayer must work!!!

Sexual Healing

I'm reading this book called "Every Man's Battle" by Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoeker. Now this book is talking about the battle that I can boldly say either all or most men have fought or they are still fighting. (THE BATTLE WITH SEXUAL INTEGRITY) I mean they don't hold anything back and nothing is taboo! It discusses lust, lust of the eyes, breast, butts, playboy, playboy channel, masturbation, sex before marriage, homosexuality, sexual addictions, adultery, adultery in the mind, etc. I'm serious everything that men face and how you can over come them.The title of this note or blog session shouldn't be sexual healing, but sexual destruction! Seriously something that was created to be special, powerful, mind-blowing, and yes even blessed; has been the destruction of so many people, so many ministries, and callings, because it has been perverted and people choose to ignore the truth. Sex is not meant for everyone…it was meant for those who are married and committed to one another.

The reason I entitled this sexual healing was so we can truly take a look at our own lives as Christians and if we are not walking in sexual purity, to start fresh. It is a struggle, it is a battle, but Christ is stronger!!! We must not allow our flesh to have control over us! We must crucify our flesh daily, capture those impure thoughts and cast them down, and seek God's instruction. We have to be careful what we put into our minds, the places we go, and the people we see!I don't have all the answers but I can share some scriptures that are helping me in my journey to strive and remain sexually pure.

Matthew 5:28, Acts 15:29, 1 Corinthians 6:13, 1 Corinthians 6:18, 1 Peter 4:3, and Hebrews 12:16. So after reading these scriptures and this note/blog tell me what you think. If you want to share scriptures or anything that will help feel free. Most of all I'm not passing judgment on anyone, but I want to put everything out on the table and hopefully save someone's life. And always if you don't know Christ or you are not sure where you're going to spend eternity when you die, please send me a message or hit me up so I can tell you about Jesus Christ. He's the only way to the Father. And Salvation doesn't cost you a thing.

Jesus is Real

Jesus is so real and so good. He made a way out no way. He provided when all other doors were closed. He has truly provided for me and I'm so grateful to know Him. He loves me and I'm so in love with Jesus Christ.

Entry 4-

I want to retract everything I just said... that's what I dreamt last night. My thoughts and dreams were filled with visions of me failing this test. Woman after woman throwing themselves at me and each time I gave in. These dreams were very sexually explicit.!!! I woke up in a sweat and prayed to God that he would keep me strong and protect my mind as I slept. I'm at peace with my decision in my spirit, but my flesh whom I've been friends with for a long time is not happy about it. My flesh is determined and always has been eager to watch me fail. Even some of the people I know have waited for me to fail and have said I will fail.Those who are reading this blog I need your prayers. This journey I will complete; I'm determined.

Joe's Celibacy Journal

Entry 3:

So as I've made this declaration of independence from the slavery that pleasing my flesh has brought. The attack and the struggle has gotten even more difficult!!! I've already lost some support and some people saying I won't make it.I've been to the altar so many times about sex and the guilt from all the wrong I've committed; it is time to try something different. If it wasn't a challenge it wouldn't be worth anything.Even a girl that I was interested in has changed her mind about me based on my decision to be celibate. I knew it wouldn't go anywhere between her and I and so I didn't take it hard at all.I just want to be a light in this world, but a genuine light. A true Christian that hasn't forgotten that I was once lost in sin. A man that realizes the struggle of trying to live right and can have compassion for those who haven't made that decision yet.In my mind and in my body I want to turn back, but my heart and my soul knows that this decision is for the best. I chose celibacy for me! Religion didn't force me it was a response to God's great love and even greater mercy.I will walk in this promise I've made to God and to myself.Let it be difficult or easy...

Joe's Celibacy Journal

Entry 2:

So here I am declaring to the world that I'm celibate. To be perfectly honest; this is the real celibacy and not the one I've been living. Look hands down I'm a Christian, I'm saved, and I love God, but I have messed up. I know God has forgiven me and I'm no longer ashamed, but the first reason why I've been celibate for the past two years hasn't been by choice. I haven't been a relationship and so therefore no sex.But as I've been growing in Christ and truly trying to make the decision to live for Him and not pretend. Joseph has made the true decision to flee fornication (sex before marriage). This is now a choice and not a matter of inconvenience. I want to find my good thing (wife), but I have to choose to live for Christ or live for the pleasures of this world.I'll talk a little bit more about this in later entries, but I just wanted to share some truth with you all.I Corinthians 10:8- Neither let us commit fornication, as some of them comitted, and fell in one day three and twenty thousand.

I Corinthians 6:18- Flee Fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body, but he that comitteth fornication sinneth against his own body.I John 1:9- If we confess our sins; he is faith and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

Entry: 1

OK so as I've already stated I'm a Christian, but if I can be 100% honest I've not always made the right choices in life. But I've made the decision not to have sex again until I get married. Whoa... I know you guys are like why did he make this public. Well I need to journal about it, because it is a challenge, but also something I need to do for me. It is something I need to do to show the world that despite your past; God can and will forgive you! And that you have free will and can make decisions.

Day 1- (well technically this is the first day I've shared it online lol, but I've been celibate for about two years). It is a difficult journey, especially staying away from books, videos, magazines, and everything else that brings your mind to sex.I love to read, but I know to win this battle against my flesh... I have to stay away from certain books by certain authors. I also love television, but there are some TV shows that I must avoid.I know those reading this are like are you that weak???

The answer is YES!!!!I pray daily... God keep me strong and help me to make the right decisions.Oh I was looking in the dictionary and saw that celibacy has more than one definition. I'm not practicing the definition that says to remain unmarried... no I'm just abstaining from having sexual intercourse until I'm married.

Christ


John 3:16 says: For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son. That whosoever believes in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.If you don't have a relationship with Christ... get one. It has been a challenging road for me, but it has been a little easier to travel, because I have a relationship with Him.I was on my way to hell, but when I accepted Christ into my life peace entered and I know I have a home in heaven. You can have this as well and it won't cost you a thing.jwriter aka Joe

LOL

you fell for it again you stupid idiot. you just don't get enough of making yourself look stupid. it is always the same. you see a beautiful, sexy, and nice woman; you fall head over hills for her, then you get all mushy and weird. they get repulsed by you and they don't even want to look your way. you fall for it every time. you get all poetic too lol. confused are you...well if you just stay in where you're supposed to be...by yourself, then you won't have to deal with it. then you beat yourself up; just like your doing now. it isn't just her smile, but it's your own insecurities. your fear of enjoying being single. your fear that if you continue to enjoy being single you will be perpetually alone on the relationship front. you fall for their charms. their words that spill from their sexy lips they make you believe them. you're not enough. you have the personality they may want in a man, but you don't have the looks. you don't have the body. you can't protect them. your weak minded. look at you, shoot look at the words that you yourself are typing I'm typing them because I'm tired of beating myself up with these same words. Every time a relationship doesn't work or I don't get the person that I want; I start to destroy myself because somebody didn't want to be with me. So they didn't want to be with me SO WHAT!!! Its not the first nor the last time. The woman for me will come. And if she doesn't OK! So LOL to you.

LOL

Is it so wrong for me to want happiness?

Is it so wrong for me to love my friends and want them to love me back?

Is it so wrong for me to be myself, even if I'm loud, goofy, a little over the top, and I don't care what people think?

Is it so wrong for me to still like watching cartoons?

Is it wrong for me to want to hold on to people that I know maybe poison in my life?

Is it so wrong for me to be in touch with my emotions, but not wanting to be so emotional?

Is it wrong for me to just want to be a man full of pride and not wanting to care so much about how others view me? (This one is not me at all)

Is it wrong for me to not want to be a sensitive person?

Is it wrong for me to just want to run away from all responsibility?

Is it wrong for me to just want to punch all the people that hate on me in face?

Is it wrong for me for caring about people so much? (Yes YES It IS)

Is it wrong for me to want to be in love with a woman although it might not be in my future? (Sad isn't it)

Is it wrong for me to want to be a real life superhero (but to use my powers sometimes to get revenge)?

Is it wrong for me to want to eat all the food I want and not have to exercise? (YES)

Is it wrong to just want people to treat you the way they want to be treated?

Is it wrong for me to want to run away from all my problems?

I don't know what is wrong, but I do know that today I've learned a lot. I can't say enough that you have to be careful who you call your friends. Don't be so quick to call everyone your friend or to move an associate to the friend category. Just like an ex maybe an ex, an associate may only be meant to be an associate.

Live life, but live it smart.

How do you recover from dating your friend? Is it possible to go back to the friendship you once had; after a relationship with that person?

I don't have the absolute answer, but I can offer some from my perspective.

I think that it is possible, but here are some conditions:

1. You both must want to be friends after deciding to break up!
2. The relationship must have ended on good terms, or at least all bad blood should have been resolved.
3. You both have to work on the friendship. (It can't be a one way street. Both people must work on maintaining the friendship, especially if the friendship was strong before).
4. Hopefully you were still friends during the relationship. (Not as hard as people make it out to be).

Again this is not set in stone, nor does one intervention work for everybody, but it is important to note that friendships are still relationships that take (what's the word) WORK. Also friendships need to include:

• HONESTY
• COMMUNICATION
• UNDERSTANDING
• A DEGREE OF ACCEPTING THE PERSON FOR WHO THEY ARE AND NOT WHO YOU WANT THEM TO BE.
• KINDNESS
• PATIENCE
• LOVE
• WILLINGNESS TO FORGIVE (The cure all! I promise you LETTING GO is such a hard thing to do, but the results are PRICELESS)
• FIGHT FOR YOUR FRIENDSHIPS

Is it possible for two people who were friends to date? I don't know you tell me.

I can't believe how she makes me smile, how she makes me feel, and how I just feel like it is so real. It feels so right and it doesn't feel artificial. It feels so good to feel the way I do, that it seems like I can be friends and more; still be more and yet be great friends all at the same time. I can wait and yet waiting numbs me to the fact that I must wait. I dream. I hope. I wish. I continue to smile and breathe even through the fact that we may never be. I pray that the last sentence isn't true. I'm caught and dazed. I'm sucker punched, but yet I'm healed. I'm happy and I smile. I daydream and I hope. Love Rain...

Hope

Wish

Dream

REALITY

So I hope that the one I truly love will truly love me back...

So I hope that everyone will get to know Christ and embrace His love...

So I hope that gas prices continue to go down and people won't have to budget for gas anymore...

So I hope I can find my good thing...

So I hope I can finish school with a high GPA...

So I hope I can get a promising and rewarding career...

So I hope that I'm living a life pleasing to God...

So I hope all my friends are blessed and are blessed to be called my friends...

So I hope my parents prosper beyond anything I could ever hope...

So I hope that everyone can find a moment of complete happiness...

So I hope that people will not revert back to the primitive ways of racism and hatred...

So I hope that I can get the car I want and pay cash for it...

So I hope that I will meet new people and learn new things...

So I hope I can one day become a great writer...

So I hope I can achieve BLOG OF NOTE LOL...

So I hope that you've been given hope by one of my blog post...

So I hope to be a great man one day just by being who I am...

So I hope that I make it into heaven...

So I hope that homelessness would end in America...

So I hope to be loved...

So I hope to be wanted...

So I hope to be needed and need someone...

So I hope to be appreciated...

So I hope...

It happens almost everyday.

I get on the train, either listening to my ipod, or reading my Bible. I get on the train and I make eye contact; electrifying, mind-blowing, you-know-you-both-want-to-say-something-to-each-other eye contact, but one of us end up breaking off the transaction. We return to our regularly scheduled programs.

She's not the same every time. Today she was this pretty brown skin young lady, who happened to have a beautiful smile. Yesterday she was this pretty Spanish young woman with long flowing black hair. Last week she was this pretty blonde with bright blue eyes who was reading a book.
Different, but the same thing happens. I get on the train, we make eye contact, I smile, she smiles, but then that's it.

I'm not a shy person, nor am I a guy who lacks confidence in myself, but I never been one to approach a stranger in the way-guys-in-movies-or-in-real-life-are-able-to-just-walk-up-to-a-woman-with-the-purpose-of-asking-them-out-or-for-their-number. I've done it before, but only twice in my life. The rest of the time has been me getting to know them first, them asking me for my number, or over the email or written note. (Those tend to be my favorite).

But today I was upset and really wished I would have spoken up and said hi like I normally do. Today though I let her get off at her stop and watched her go by.

I can't explain it, but I know I needed to blog about it.

Does anyone else ever get dating ptsd when it comes to the approach?

As I sat with my family watching the decision to be made; a decision that could shake the very foundation of hatred, racism, and evilness this country has tried to hide for so long. A decision that has shown that America, even for a moment in time was able to look over color, to look over stereotypes, and to look over the general foolishness that American politics sometimes spit out; America was able to choose a man who was qualified.

Words are not powerful enough to describe how I feel about this historic moment. All the pain that we as a country has endured. Words can't fathom the emotional high that we as an African American, Colored, Black, Afro American people are expressing; as we invoke the joy from our ancestors who have bled, died, hung, endured hatred, endured slavery, endured hardships; fought wars, had homes destroyed; endured watching our leader being killed, as we invoke their songs of joy to see a Qualified Man Become President.

We must show that we are a United People!!! We must stand firm; although some of the people are disappointed that their candidate did not win, WE MUST STAND FIRM THAT UNITED WE STAND AND DIVIDED WE FALL. We must show that we are the United States of America and that We Stand Behind The Qualified Man Who Has Become President.

Stop Hatred... He's Qualified

Become Color Blind... He's Qualified

Remove the Party Separation... He's Qualified

Save the Drama... He's Qualified

We have work to do as a nation and we don't have time to argue about fears because Obama is President. We gave Bush a chance... Give Obama A Chance.

If you can't do anything else Pray for Obama's Protection.

I hear freedom ringing, but we must not allow silence to become darkness. Darkness breeds hatred...hatred breeds destruction. Let freedom ring. LET IT RING LOUD AND CLEAR.

Fight with him not against him.

Use your voice.

He Looks Like A President, He Talks Like A President, He Walks Like A President, And Barack Obama is The President of these United States.

I'm Proud as a Black Man

I voted knowing that my ancestors were once unable to.

I've found hope.

I've dreamed the dream.

I lived history.

I've seen history.

I've pressed history on a computer and I've voted history.

I'm standing on the mountain top.

My voice was apart of the harmony that sounds like freedom.

I can say it... A QUALIFIED BLACK MAN HAS BECOME PRESIDENT!!!

YES WE CAN!!!

Today I voted!!! My 4th time voting and my third time voting for a PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES. History in the making people. A Black man won the Democratic Candidate position, and now maybe on his way to becoming the first Black President. I walked up a steep hill to the church, waited in the line, and voted for Obama and Biden. I should get my own chapter in the history book. (History books might look amazing now with all the new stuff that's going on) I always liked history so if they took my pic at the voting polls I hope they took my good side lol.

Today was also monumental because today was my sister's first time voting!!! She was so excited she sent me a text message and said Joey I voted. I told her I was proud of her and then I asked her did she cry. She said she teared up a bit. I asked why in the world was she crying. She said, because today I made history. I'm so proud of her.

I also want to give a shout out to one of my best friends. His birthday is on today so hopefully he will celebrate like no tomorrow. Seeing as though his birthday is on this exciting day.

Well Barack Obama I hope that you win. I hope you bring the change that this country needs. I pray that you will be protected and that you will go to God on behalf of your family, yourself, and your country. I'm rooting for you and today is the day.

If you're reading this and you haven't voted yet: GET OUT AND VOTE!!!!