You never know who you will meet and how that meeting may some day change your life! I believe the Bible is so real and when it says be careful how you entertain strangers; I have to agree that this is a lesson we all must learn. Your first impression can be the start of something amazing or the ending of something that could have been a blessing. We have to start approaching people with kindness, extending a helping hand, and speaking words of peace & love and not words of hurt and destruction.

I will never understand how people expect to be blessed and they have nothing positive to say out of their mouth. I absolutely despise when people believe that they are entitled and believe that they can expect a blessing when nothing but foul and rude comments come out of their face. We need to have the right attitude and we also need to understand that NO ONE OWES US ANYTHING! I hope that you can read this and begin to change your mindset and your attitude.

Be careful how you entertain strangers because some have entertained ANGELS unawares!

I never thought that I would truly be at this place. I have been at the place of thinking "hey this is the woman I think I can married," but this time it is real. I know that within my heart, mind, and soul that I want to marry and take care of my future. I can't explain why I know that she is my future, but I just know. I know that and everything confirms it; from when I pray about it, the way my family, my friends treat her and us; her family, her friends treat me; and most of all she confirms it.

I know that last statement you might have asked what has she done to confirm it for you? My future doesn't do anything that confirms it for me; it is more than just doing, she supports, she builds, she encourages, she cooks, she loves me, etc; it is rather that her spirit; the woman that speaks with God, that is what confirms it for me.

Finding my future was not an easy thing and because of the struggle that I endured it has made me finding her, appreciate her all the more. The honest thing is this though, I did not search for her; I did not look for her, I literally was trying to just not get into a relationship anymore. The second I stopped worrying, I stopped complaining, I stopped fighting, I stopped crying; the second I just began to live my life that's when I found her.

Finding my future has really completed me and I'm not just saying cheesy movie line. It isn't like I wasn't a whole person, but I just feel like I am complete or that my completeness is enhanced because of my future.

Have you found her? Have you found your future?

Relationship Ups and Downs: How Your Relationship with God Can Help You with Your Relationships with Others.

By Joseph Snider


What are some issues you find in relationships or being in relationships with others?

What are some of the things that you wish people just knew about you or rather you wish they would just get?

What are some things that you need to work on?

Ten Common Problems in All Relationships

Written by Leslie Musoko

Whatever relationship we find ourselves in, be it friendship, marriage, mother in-law or father in-law, siblings, acquaintances we always find a away to have problems amongst ourselves that really need to be resolved.
10 Common Problems in Relationships

1. Communication - This is at the forefront of every relationship. Quite simply we rarely listen to anyone most of the time but ourselves. We nod and acknowledge each other but most of the time we are more focused on getting our point across. When this outweighs its benefits we hit an obstacle and before long we are facing a problem. Communication at its basic level means both people must have the chance to say something and be heard. If there is no balance it is unlikely that any relationship would last.
2. Pride - We all carry a certain level of pride within us that makes it impossible to accept advice or correction. Irrespective of our age or who we are talking to we must always believe that we can learn something from them. This is humility. Without this humility there can be no relationship. As long as one person believes that they are better than another and shows this in one way or the other there would be a problem. Once more there has to be balance. We are not robots so pride is acceptable as something that we can't avoid. Yet we should be willing to take the low ground and allow someone else to have the higher ground when it is necessary for balance to exist and for our relationship to prosper.
3. Work - Relationships like anything else require effort and work to prosper. Having a friend and not taking the time out to call them or extend that hand of friendship without regret or expectation damages the relationship. Today technology has made it possible that we can reach anyone at anytime in most places in the world. There are really very few excuses why we cannot do this. Friendships require work and we must put in the effort to reap the rewards.
4. Dishonesty - No relationship would last if there is dishonesty. This breeds a lack of trust and plunges the relationship into chaos. Regardless of how bad things may be we should endeavor to tell the truth. Once distrust becomes a part of a relationship it is doomed.
5. Respect - Respect is another key aspect of any relationship. This is not respect just of status but that of friendship and individuals. With respect people are willing to listen to others without reservation. This is enough to give the relationship the time it needs to develop into something better.
6. Patience - In any relationship there must be patience. It is the basis for understanding, better communication and allowing time for the relationship to run its course. It caters for unforeseeable circumstances and for tolerance. It shows that we have accepted each other for who we are.
7. Forgiveness - There must also be forgiveness and kindness for our mistakes. This should strengthen any relationship and should be shown in deed as well as words. Without forgiveness there would be no relationship because people are bound to make mistakes time and again.
8. Envy - Friendship cannot survive envy or jealousy. This must be avoided at all cost. It creates unhealthy competition that eventually leads to malice. We must find a means to get along without looking at the things that each other possess in envy.
9. Appreciation - As humans we always want to feel appreciated. It is a part of us that makes us feel wanted and needed. This strengthens any relationship tenfold. We are all like kids in one way or the other and desire praise to feel appreciated. This is something that cannot go amiss in any relationship.
10. Balance - Every relationship must have some form of balance whether it is in giving or receiving. Balance always works towards producing positive results. On one hand for those who are always giving they must know when to stop and allow the other person in the relationship to do their part. And for those who are always receiving they learn how to give if the giver stops. For the first time they realize what they are missing and begin giving in order to receive. This balance is heart felt and must be applied to all the other factors mentioned above which could cause problems in a relationship.
Leslie Musokohttp://lesliemusoko.ning.com
http://lesliemusoko.blogspot.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Leslie_Musoko


We often find ourselves unsure how to overcome the common problems in relationships. Even in singleness we either find ourselves becoming so involved in not worrying about being in relationships that we almost isolate ourselves, or we are on the other end of the spectrum and find ourselves so obsessed with getting married and not being single anymore; we find ourselves in bad, unhealthy, and ungodly relationships. More importantly we find ourselves neglecting the most important relationship of all and that is our relationship with God.
The crazy thing Singles is that we forget that all relationships not only involve some type of intimacy, some type of love and respect, but that every type of relationship involves spending time with each other. I don’t know if it is the fact that God is not a physical being that we neglect the spending time part, but I just find it funny how we put more effort in spending time with the physical/natural than we do with our loving, caring, and amazing God. I’m not being judgmental and I’m not trying to step on any toes, but I want to open our eyes to something amazing. I believe if we give God the best relationship He can have with us, he will turn around and bless us with the best relationship we can have with someone in the natural: be it work relationships, friendships, kinships, romantic/intimate relationships, or marriage.

I firmly believe in the scripture in Matthew 6:33, “But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.” I believe that if we give God our best singles and we give Him everything we have; He will not only bless us in relationships, but he will bless us in our jobs, finances, health; He will bless us physically, emotionally, mentally; He will bless our goals, endeavors, our hopes, our dreams; stated plainly if we give God our first, He will give us his FAVOR. So I have explored these four points: Communication, Spending Quality Time, Intimacy, and Romance; as the four ways to overcome relationship ups and downs. Apply these four points to your relationship with God and watch how it can affect/change the relationships you have here on earth.

• Communication: Got Questions.org states that, “God’s primary ways of communication with us are through the His Word (Romans 10:17) and by the Holy Spirit (John 14:26). Our primary mode of communication with God is prayer. We are to go to God in prayer for all our needs. When we lack something, God says that it is not from His inability to provide, but our lack of diligence to ask or asking with the wrong motives (James 4:2-3). Even Jesus prayed regularly because of the limitations He took upon Himself in human form (Luke 3:21; Mark 1:35; Matthew 26:36). No longer able to communicate with God face to face, as He did in heaven, Jesus prayed often and fervently to reestablish intimate communication with the Father. We are to follow His example and “pray continually” (1 Thessalonians 5:17).” We must understand that communication is more than just talking, but we must do more listening and interpreting; seeking understanding, and also learning to read non-verbal cues. Relationships have more downs when people are unwilling to communicate and then respond to what has been communicated. When God communicates to us, He wants a response to what He has shared. Again communication is filled with action, to listen, to share, to interpret, and to RESPOND.
• Spending Quality Time: (Luke 10:38-42): Now it happened as they went that He entered a certain village; and a certain woman named Martha welcomed Him into her house. 39 And she had a sister called Mary, who also sat at Jesus’ feet and heard His word. 40 But Martha was distracted with much serving, and she approached Him and said, “Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Therefore tell her to help me.”41 And Jesus answered and said to her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. 42 But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her.” Time is a precious resource; so abundant that it has no physical shape or can’t be stored; but so limited and unpredictable that we can’t save it or replenish it. That’s why spending time is so important in a relationship; especially one with God because it shows not only obedience, but sacrifice. Mary was not distracted by the cares of the world, but instead understood the importance of spending that close quality time with her savior. How many of us singles have been guilty of spending quality time with friends and family; spending quality time with our careers, school work, hopes and dreams; we forget to spend that time with God. Imagine how great our lives with be if we spent more time with our Savior? Don’t neglect quality time; it is in spending quality time that we learn new things about a God/person, we learn likes and dislikes, we learn what makes them happy, and we build intimacy.
• Intimacy: Colossians 3:1 says, “If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God.” I chose this verse for intimacy because of the key words (seek) and (above). Intimacy is synonymous with (relationship, familiarity, confidence, and understanding) and if you’re seeking the things of Christ and you want more Ups in your relationships then downs you have to seek the things that are above. Intimacy is not just sexual. Intimacy is those purposeful actions towards building relationship and understanding with someone mind, body, and soul. In relation to building a strong relationship with God, seeking Him in such away that makes God fill special. You know what makes God feel special? Our obedience, our willingness to love others and follow Christ like principles, serving others, humility, praise, and the most effective way to be intimate with God is through Prayer and Worship. We have to live an intimate lifestyle of prayer and worship to be in a loving, intimate, and powerful relationship with God. Anybody want to get intimate with God?
• Romance: Matthew 22:37, “Jesus said unto him, You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.” Romance is the willingness to be completely absorbed and enthusiastic about showing your love to another person. The dictionary defines it as two people in a love affair. This scripture describes us being in a love affair with God; not only with our soul, but with our entire being. You’ve ever been in love with someone with your entire being and those people not treasure it or honor it. But God, but God, but God, but God is able to romance you in such away that you’ll forget all about the hurt and pain that the person caused. God can romance you so well that you’ll find that wholeness you’ve been looking for. If God can do that for us. Why can’t we do that for Him? Let’s romance God with our worship, with our praise. Let’s romance Him with spending quality time with Him, communicating with Him, serving others, loving others, and giving God our very best. We can overcome relationship ups and downs by using our relationship with God as a model. If you have these four components active in your relationship with God, WATCH how he will bless your relationships with your fellow man.

Single in the City

Seven Points to Successfully Navigating Being Single and Searching

By Joseph Snider

Have you ever found yourself questioning what the meaning of life was, or rather you were meant to do something, but it never seems to work out for you? Have you found yourself asking the question,” Can I be a Christian and date?” May be you’ve just decided to give up on the whole relationship and dating thing; you’ve decided to live your life as a celibate, devoted, and purpose driven single. If you have chosen that lifestyle, go for it, but for those of us, who want to traverse the dangers and hazards of single dating life, strive for holiness, get married, and find the right “one”, these seven points may help point you in the right direction.
Please don’t get me wrong choosing to remain single is not a negative thing. But I honestly have not heard a lot of Christian Single Groups discussing how to successfully navigate the dating or searching scene in a healthy and (holy) way. Let me also be clear that these points are not just for the searching singles, but can even be of some help to individuals who have had a difficult time letting go of a hurtful past. I don’t stand before you as a man who has it all figured out. I don’t stand before you as a perfect man; absent of struggle, and a sin free single life; rather I stand before you as a man trying to hear from God, live for Him, and get it right; even in being a Single, Searching, Christian.

Ok so I think I’ve provided a pretty good introduction. Let us jump write into these seven points.

The Points Are:

• 1. Let Go of Your Past
• 2. Don’t Be Afraid to Start Over
• 3. Love Yourself
• 4. Have Faith/Step Out On Faith
• 5. Remain Faithful to God’s Word
• 6. Try Something Different/Change Venues
• 7. Give God Your All

1. Let Go of Your Past- Philippians 3:13: “Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead,” How many people have learned that nothing good has come from holding on to the past? The only thing your past is supposed to do is to teach you, not to hinder you or chain you down. In dating or searching for the one, it is a good idea to accept what Christ has given us and that is freedom from our past. Don’t let an ex, your family, the enemy, or anyone else allow you to not walk in the freedom that Grace and Mercy has afforded those who accept the free Gift of Christ. I know for a fact or well from my own experience that you can’t move on or find the one if you’re still holding on to what was. Let it Go! Let him go! Let her go! Let it go! Just let it go!
2. Don’t Be Afraid to Start Over- Romans 8: 28: “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” Now please don’t think that I’m just using scriptures to purport my own agenda, rather look at it this way, God has allowed things to happen, and even though it may be hard to accept; it will work out for our good. I know starting over can be difficult, but look at what could have been your life if you stayed in the dangerous or poisonous relationship you were in. If you want to be Single in the City, you can’t be afraid to start over. Even if you don’t want to date or you want to remain single, don’t be afraid to trust God to start over from scratch or from a new position.
3. Love Yourself- Psalms 139:14: “I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous art thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.” This is an amazing feat for us to accomplish. We must battle between loving ourselves enough not to accept anything and not loving ourselves too much to where we become too arrogant or our own God. I’m a firm believer that you can’t be in any kind of romantic relationship if you can’t love you and the you God made you to be.
4. Have Faith/Step Out On Faith- II Corinthians 4:18: “While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal.” You will not be able to successfully be a searching single if you do not have faith. Again maybe you’re not searching for you husband or your wife, but you are searching for your place as an effective Christian Single. Whatever you’re searching for you can’t do it if you won’t step out on faith. Trusting God can be a very scary thing, especially when you’ve been hurt or disappointed. For those of us who are looking to be married, you can’t allow fear to rule over you. We have to have faith that God wants us to obtain the desires of our hearts, that he wants us to be happy, and that he truly blesses and favors the sanctity and sacredness of marriage. I believe that God still believes in love, romance, and marriage. I’ve been hurt, but faith, hope, and love; covers the searing wounds past relationships have caused.
5. Remain Faithful To God’s Word- Matthew 4:4: “But he answered and said, It is written, Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God.” This has been a great challenge for me in successfully navigating being a searching Christian single. You can’t pick and choose what part of God’s word you will be faithful too. Holiness means holiness; there is no in between for those who follow God’s word and believes in his Son. We have to be holy, even in searching for a mate or even living single. We have to live a righteous life and not depend on sex, alcohol, drugs, the flesh, being afraid of being alone, etc. Despite how it might seem that God is taking to long or that promised desire is not being fulfilled we must remain faithful to His Word. We remain faithful to His Word; He will be faithful and fulfill his promises.
6. Try Something Different/Change Venues- 2 Corinthians 5:17: “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold all things are become new.” Try something new and be creative in Jesus name.
7. Give God Your All- Matthew 22:37: “Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.” This point is the one that sums up all the points. If you want to become a Successful Single in the City, it is time for you to Love GOD WITH EVERYTHING YOU HAVE. I find it funny that WE can love a man or a woman who uses/abuses us, we can love the cares of this world, BUT we can’t love the one who gave us everything; including His Son. Like I said I don’t have everything together and maybe you haven’t found the first six points helpful. But I promise you this if you Give God Your All, He will Bless you. He will Provide for You, and Above All; He will See YOU THROUGH. Not just successfully navigating being Single in the City, but every aspect of your life, NO EVERY DIMENSION.

It only takes a moment for you to break someone's trust, but it takes a lifetime to rebuild it!!!

It only takes a moment for you to break someone's trust, but it takes a lifetime to rebuild it!!!

To know that you are struggling with doing the right thing is a tough dilemma, but think about how much more you will struggle if you don't do what is right

Honestly like I just tweeted a few minutes ago (check out my twitter section of the blog); if I could change one thing about me besides my height, it would be to change the random mood swings I encounter every other day or so. I just can’t understand how one moment I can be this almost sickening happy maniac, who laughs at everything, to transform into this obese with depression woman man that is sulking around in a man robe and the equivalent of hair rollers. It is frustrating to have these constant fluctuating modes that I have trouble keeping up with.

Random moods are not like winning the lottery. In fact this occurrence is absolutely irritating. Just so everyone knows I am not bi-polar, however I kind of feel like
I’m teetering on some level of bi-polar (rism) and honestly I may need to look into taking some form of medication. How do I cope with such an incredulous, irritating, irate, phenomenon? How do I navigate this wave of pure, unadulterated, and over-the-top pessimism? Someone must help me or I will find myself buried in my own void of dark and spinning out of control emotions. I do not like the dark jspotwriter. (It used to be jwriter, but now I think I will formally become jspotwriter across the board.)

I know that it has to be someone who can relate, because I need some advice. How do you overcome being a moody bastard?

Thanks,

Jspotwriter

Me and My Luna AKA TitsMuhGee

I have this incredibly funny, sarcastic, nonchalant (at times), semi-cynical (at certain moments), genuine, out of the box, beautiful, sardonic (ironic side of this big word), amazing, sister/best-friend who goes by the pseudonym of Luna aka TitsMuhGee. Luna reminds me a lot of Ellen Paige as (Juno), mixed with Zoe DeChanel, a little bit of Samantha from Sex and the City (minus the explosion of men and semen painting her bedroom), with a hint of Kevin Spacey from the Usual Suspects; some sugar, spice, hot sauce, and top it off with the secret romantic, girl who has crushes side of Charlotte from Sex and the City; you pretty much have Tits all summed up.

Anyway she makes me smile and at times I secretly wish I could live vicariously through her. I think it would be cool, especially when she tells me about the randomness and often times awkward moments she finds herself in. I thoroughly enjoy her honesty and her ability to work very hard not to make someone feel bad, but still manages to rip a piece of their soul out with just a slight breeze of her sharp wit. And at the same time her genuinely kind nature can put a band-aid on the searing wound she has just caused.

I’m actually quite surprised at this rather meticulous description of Luna and I hope that she enjoys it (LOL). No she isn’t bad as my poor writing and descriptive skills are making her out to be; she’s a sweetheart, but she is not one to be played with either. She is wise beyond her years, but yet can find away to be quite child-like especially when it comes to love and romance. (Honestly I think the words/feelings gross her out, but at the same time she wants to embrace them and have them suffocate her LOL; sardonic right?)

Anyway, what I’m going to do now is stop talking and try to recreate non-fiction into fiction. I’m going to give you an example of the conversations my sister Luna and I have, but add a bit of my twisted imagination into it. TitsMuhGee, if no one else enjoys it I hope you do and let me know how to fix it for next time.

Luna on Broken hearts

Luna: “Joey I love you.”

Me: “I love you too Luna. I miss you very much.”

Luna: “Aww sweet and I miss you too. I so have to tell you all the extremely funny things that are happening in my life at the moment.”

Me: “As I must tell you about the craziness of mine.”

Luna: *goes silent for the moment* “I absolutely love my breast. I think they are amazing.”

Me: *laughing loud and shaking my head at the same time* “Yes we all know you love them things, put them away for a second and talk to your brother.”

Luna: “Well first of all let me say that I think you rock. I definitely don’t know how you can continue with this love thing *vomits in her mouth a little* but you continue to persevere and for that I am proud. I on the other hand would prefer to find myself living my life as a ninety year old woman with saggy breast, tuna fish breath, and hundreds of moldy cats; rather than waste time with love and relationships.”

Me: “Is it really that disgusting for you?”

Luna: “Well I just think that people spend too much time being phony and mushy; unable to fully express how they feel about someone and then try to dress it up as love. I rather have a pap smear for Christmas instead of someone faking like they love me just to use me or play with Lady Captain Kangaroo.”

Me: “I know deep down you don’t feel that way. In fact my dear lady, I believe that you’re waiting for true love to cross your path. Believe me Luna, I have my doubts about love, and honestly I’m down right cynical at times, but at the end of the day I want to find the one and get married. I know that you want that too.”

Luna: *She’s thoughtful I suppose and a silence falls before she speaks. I imagine that she is working on a new sexy face to make or taking a profile picture of her chest (laugh out loud).* “I honestly want something like that somewhere down the line, but I don’t want the pretense or the bull crap that comes with it. I don’t want some creepy random kid or some nasty married man with spoiled teeth breathing down my neck; instead I want real love and not the crap you see on TV.”

Me: “I know what you mean, minus the nasty married man with spoiled teeth…where do you come up with this stuff? *We both laugh.* “I think that I have to get over my broken heart so that the next person I end up with won’t pay for someone else’s mistakes.”

Luna: “Yeah don’t be bitter and unforgiving. I’ve seen enough of that in my life, however short it has been. I say if you have a broken heart let it bleed and put a (insert non PG 13 English word here) band-aid on it and let it heal. Joey if a woman can’t recognize how awesome you are that’s on them and not on you. Let it go and be happy. Find someone else to love you or climb on top of you. Whatever works.”

*We both laugh*

Luna and Joey: “We have to watch Shameless together.”

End

"Relationships are not tests so there is no need to cheat," anonymous

Forgive those who have you hurt you and ask for forgiveness to those you have hurt!

Utilize what you have learned from past relationships to help navigate the new one you're trying to maintain! Don't let someone pay for someone else's mistakes

In relationships and dating, you can't be afraid to start over! It can be tough to go back out there, but give it another try with a new outlook!

I just hope that you will see that you can't treat people any kind of way and not think you won't get it back!

Can the world effectively move if there was no critics, judges, or rejection?

You have to become a better person by just being a better person than you were yesterday

Lord Jesus please forgive me of my sins. I continue to go down the same road and play the fence between living for Christ and living for my own fleshly and selfish needs.

God I'm sorry that I keep turning back to the wicked ways of my youth and only seeking to satisfy my earthly lusts and pleasures. God I'm sorry.

Lord Jesus I don't want to be out of fellowship with you, but the fear and lack of faith I experience; wait they are no longer an excuse. I just wish I could convince myself f this and begin to live for You and You alone.

God please forgive me of all my sins.

Amen.

So...

So I never thought that I would be afraid to move forward and yet I find myself in a place journal where moving forward seems almost impossible. I know that I need to do this, but I can't overcome the mental blocks that tell me to stay PUT! I want to succeed, but because of a failure or two, I fear that I will fail completely if I decide to move forward.

So I think that I want to try and build a friendship with someone who has been a stranger all my life, but I'm some what apprehensive of doing so because I don't really feel like building a relationship with someone that will potentially be emotionally draining. At this present time journal I do not have the emotional fortitude to have an emotional leech clinging to me. I think I might not attempt this.

So I have bittersweet feelings and fears.

So I will be traveling again soon and I'm loving it.

So I really don't want to admit it, but I'm in love and it doesn't feel forced or weird, it feels RIGHT! And that to me is weird.

So...

You never miss a good thing until it is gone!

Men and Women you can't have your cake and eat it too! Don't you understand that you have to give and invest? You don't miss your well till the water runs dry!

I fully enjoyed my birthday today and I wish I could do the day over again minus the working lol! I love my friends and family who helped make it so special!

You can't ever be mad at someone who decides to love themselves more than you could love them!

What would life be if it wasn't unpredictable? Would we still enjoy life?

If life could just stop being so unpredictable all the time!

I absolutely despise you!

The very center of my core is on fire and burning with a dangerous and deadly hatred that erupts the desire to see you harmed.

Unable to bring myself to cause you such pain; hot boiling tears erupt and burn my face and destroy my pride. I'm full of embarrassment and anger because I'm crying. The more tears of anger I shed, the more the hurt resurfaces and I find myself wishing that you didn't exist or that you would be erased completely from the world that I find comfortable.

These tears burn like the salt of beautiful seas and I see no more the loveliness that once was enveloped in the creation of woman that God created. Instead all I see is the evil of hurt, wretched, torn, ugly soul; this burns me up and hides what was once loved and I cry the more because these tears embarrass me, they burn me, they harm me, they degrade me, they tear me asunder, they break me, and all I can think of is crying these same tears when your words and actions have harmed me.

I don't want to shed these painful, ugly tears anymore. I don't want to ever hate someone again. To call you vile, dirty, derogatory names and feel the pain of shame that makes the tears burn and boil all the more. I don't want to be who I am, instead I want to be what He wants me to be.

Relationships make us ugly because we stay in things that aren't good for us and We don't FOLLOW His plans. Now I battle being cynical and sarcastic and hateful. I cried like never before and it burned. I wanted to die at that very moment. I wanted to kill. I wanted to cause more than unintentional emotional pain. But instead I cried; less of a man I cried.

Never enjoyed being kicked while I'm already beat into the ground, but I'm convinced that you've enjoyed kicking me while I was down. I was a foot rug and door mat for you. And now as I try to rise above that I'm looked down upon once again. I'm angry and people only lose respect for me. The evil ones always get away Scott free.

I can't hate but must love. I can't be hurt because I'm not the dumpee I'm the dumper, but really I'm the one who was thrown in the dump. I write to ease the pain, I express to cool the fire, I write to fight against the boiling hot tears of hatred welling up on the inside of me and the darkness that slowly tries to overtake me.

The next time I cry for the hatred and hurt you've caused will be at the death of my self respect and the respect others will lose for me.

I'm so sick of exes!

Is there not a place that you can send the mean, evil, nasty, and backstabbing exes? I wish there was a world to put them in and only take them out when they are fully repented of their wrongs and the way they treat people. I would understand if an ex is upset with their old significant other if they did them wrong, but how do they manage to treat an ex wrong who hasn't wronged them? I'm so very confused by this.

I truly just wish that all of their negativity, hurtful words, hurtful actions, extra behaviors, and what not can become nonexistent. I don't want them gone forever because I guess people care about them, but just to send them to "How to be a Good Ex" boot camp or something.

The funny thing is I'm friends with all my exes, but this one ex is truly making it difficult for me not to be come a hateful, swear word spitting, ring your neck type of person. *he takes a deep breath and refrains from breaking the computer.* All I want is to no longer be punished for finally loving me and be able to heal from the fact that I lost a friend and that I lost "partially" some of our mutual friends on some levels.

It is never easy to love someone who hates or mistreats you, but always easy to simply hate them. I want to take the easy way out, but I must remain on the difficult path. I absolutely want to despise this person and wish evil and harm on them, but I realize that if I dig one ditch I better dig two and that second one will be my own.

Forgiveness is the key and realizing that you can't live in the world where exes don't exist; only if you continue to jump in and out of relationships.

I don't want to deal with emotional scars anymore. The scars from being hurt from past relationships. I just want to be free of such finite things. I know that scars come in life, pain comes, and heartache comes; what happens when the scars bleed through the healing?

I just want to know. Unfortunately I can't write more about this at the moment because I have a freshly opened scar.

The God of Time and Seasons

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

1 To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
2 a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
3 a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
4 a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
5 a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
6 a time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
7 a time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
8 a time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.


As I was driving home today God dropped in my spirit that there is a time and season for everything. I begin to wonder why a God who is not bound by time and who controls the seasons; has us, his children, His creations, to operate in time, space, and seasons? I contemplate this as I’m driving home and He slowly begins to reveal to me, that the problem isn’t his omnipotence, but our ignorance. It isn’t that our ignorance makes us sinful, but the sin is that we are given the keys to obtain knowledge; yet we choose to remain ignorant. He has us to operate in seasons, because we are unable to grasp the importance of following His will. He has us to operate in time, because we would never grow or learn, if we could remain unchangeable through time and space as He does. I was convinced at one point that God did not operate in seasons, but boy was I wrong.

It is imperative that you notice the very first statement in our text, To everything there is a SEASON, and a TIME to every purpose under heaven. This is an affirmation from God. He has declared that everything under heaven will be dictated by time, and governed by his season. There is no way around this; we either choose to follow God’s seasonal declaration for everything, and choose God’s purpose for time; or we choose our own way. So here I was shown that God governs our lives through time and season. Now for some of you I know you may be saying, “hey I already knew this about God, tell me something I don’t know,” well my friend, God revealed to me that the reason we’re not prospering, the reason we are not walking in His INTENTIONAL blessings, the reason we are not walking in His favor; simply because we do not want to operate in God’s time or His seasons for our lives; instead we want to make our own seasons and make Him move with our timing.

We are RMP (R-I-M-P) “Reaping- Minded- People,” we solely operate in a reaping mentality and not in a sowing capacity. The Bible says in Galatians 6:7, “Be not deceived God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap,” the Bible also says in 2 Corinthians 9:6, “But this I say, he which soweth sparingly shall reap sparingly; and he which soweth bountifully shall reap also bountifully.” What did you notice in these two scriptures? If you answered that there is not only a time/season for reaping, but also a time/season for sowing, then reader you are absolutely right. Neither scripture stated that you will just reap; why are we RMP, when there must be sowing to reap? Ok you’re still not convinced I will show you some other scriptures that speak to this principle of sowing and reaping.

Job 4: 8, “As I have seen, those who plow iniquity and sow trouble reap the same.”
1 Timothy 5:17-18, “Let the elders who rule well be considered worthy of double honor, especially those who labor in preaching and teaching. For the Scripture says, “You shall not muzzle an ox when it treads out the grain,” and, “The laborer deserves his wages.”

Luke 6:38, “Give and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you.”

You see in each of these scriptures there was work/action/initial season/timing, and then there was action/reward/new season/cyclical timing. Yes, that is the missing link; we sit back and wonder how God can be blessing everyone else, when we have been faithful and true; we’ve been singing in the choir, paying out tithes, etc; God is saying you think you’re entitled to a blessing, but all you do is prematurely eat your harvest. All you do (Joseph) is eat your fruit before it is ripe. You do not put your hand to the plow, but you expect a plentiful harvest; all you did was sit and watch others work. I know I’m not the only one guilty of this. You can’t expect a harvest without doing some work; even in the blessings department.

Don’t believe me look: Matthew 7:7-8, “Ask and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened. “ There was action with every reaction family. You have to act in God’s will, God’s timing, and God’s season. There is a time to ask and a time to be given. A season for seeking and a season for finding; if you can’t sit in PRAYER (ONE OF THE CONSTANT SEASONS) then you won’t be able to discover whether God has you in your SOWING season or your REAPING season.

Please don’t think that your reaping is simply a time for you to sit back and get your blessings; no when it was time for the season of harvest, the harvesters went out and picked up there reward. They GATHERED (VERB) their harvest. I’m not saying God won’t just have you sit still and have your harvest/blessings poured on you, but you have to be aware of what SEASON of harvest it is. Are you still not convinced of the time and season for your life? Alright let’s look at David’s example of not operating God’s season and timing:

2 Samuel 11:1- “And it came to pass, after the year was expired, at the time when kings go forth to battle, that David sent Jo’ab, and his servants with him, and all Israel; and they destroyed the Children of Ammon, and besieged Rabbah. But David tarried still at Jerusalem.” David was supposed to be in his season of battle, but he decided to move on his own timing and make his own season; we all know what happened as a result. David’s season was not to be at home resting, but to be out with his army fighting for the Lord. He instead chose to stay at home; ended up seducing another man’s wife, getting her pregnant, killing her husband, losing his child, and causing the sword to never leave his home. (Talk about reaping and sowing.)

I know I talked your head off, but what I hope you gained from this is that you begin to look at what season you are in. Ask God to help you to operate in His Will, His Time, and His Seasons. This includes our Relationships, Finances, Jobs, Unemployment, etc. If you truly begin to try and SEEK God’s will for your life, He will reveal what your season is and what you should be doing in your season. If God can change the seasons from Summer, Winter, Spring, and Fall; then He can definitely reveal to you whether you are in your season of REAPING or SOWING.

God Bless You,
jwriter

All I want is to sleep and play video games! I also just have an urge to blog!

Forgive me it has been a minute since I have sent a post from my phone! I've been so busy it just doesn't make any sense! I'm so glad that it is friday!

Why do people say that they want their friends to be real? Do you know what you’re asking for? Do you know that you are unable to recognize the real (ness) in others because of the absence of real (ness) in you?! It kills me when people who are unable to accept truth, see the truth, admit fault, can't apologize for their wrongs, can't be the bigger person, do others wrong, talk bad about people, dog people out, and hate themselves; believe for one millisecond that they are real and everyone else lacks authentic capabilities!



Well I say no more!!! Stop putting people on this infinite level pedestal to exude the real (ness) you can't fathom and let your friends be who they are! Stop placing yourself as the poster child for honesty, truth, and fundamental transparency; and realize you're wearing a mask too, that you lie to protect your fragile pride that you get jealous, that you get envious, and that you have problems too! Get connected to people who will call you out on your mess and still love you even when you don't listen!


I don't know if you have friends that don't like to hear, see, or speak the truth, but I know you know someone who does!

I can't begin to describe why so many relationships are lacking and falling apart! I truly believe that we have limited ourselves from positive and creative expressions of love, romance, and pure tokens of appreciation! That's why I bring you this post: Love Without Limits!

Jean Grey and Franklin Richards are two omega level mutants with powerful mental capabilities. One with the power to control physical and mental constructs down to the atomic level and the other can literally shift the dimensions of reality and the time/space continuum! But their abilities had LIMITS placed on them and they weren't fully able to tap into their true potential because of the limits placed on them and the limits they placed on themselves!

It is the same for us in our relationships and our marriages! We limit the positive love we can show to the one we are committed to. We place no limits on how negative, hurtful, or deceitful we can be to one another! We don't limit how low we can be, but we limit loving unconditionally, being spontaneous, being creative in our romantic gestures, and just being appreciative.

From now on I say love without limits! Especially in your marriage you should love, honor, and cherish your treasure; treasure your soul mate, and don't be afraid to romance them.

Do an assessment of your relationship and see if you can improve your capacity to love your significant other. Plan a date, send some flowers, go for a one day trip to eat a nice restaurant, go on a wine tour, bring out a gift they gave you a fews years back and tell them why you appreciated it! Love them with everything.

Love without Limits!

I read an article today about a woman who has chosen to remain single and celibacy. She has decided to sacrifice her life, body, and the gift of sex; in order to completely dedicate herself to the service of the Lord! She stated that she chooses to be singles and has scriptures to support her choice. She also goes on to say that she has gain clarity and strength because she has dedicated herself to reading her Word, praying, working for the Kingdom, and controlling her thoughts and her body. Further more she stated that she was content in not being married ever, but if God revealed that marriage was right for her she would do it!

All in All it was a very good read and a positive alternative to either being single, dating, or married! It was an awesome read and her viewpoints were clear and nonjudgmental on both sides of the coin! It got me thinking about choosing and what role our choices make when we are deciding on a mate or deciding to live holy in single hood!

Do we have a choice in whether we are to remain single or to be married? Why didn't we come with a meter or a chart letting us know what life choice we should make! She never stated that God chose this life for her, but it was the choice she made to stop commercially dating men and to focus on her work for God. She made some points about how the church doesn't have a place for single women and she definitely stated she was not a nun. So what do you think?

You are more than your past. It is gone and you are no longer bound by it. Yesterday is gone and we don't have to hold on to that anymore. I know that it is hard to let go of the hurt, the guilt, the shame, and people who won't let you forget those things; you are more than your past. Stop being afraid to move from it and stop being afraid to find power somewhere else. We hold on to our past because it allows us to feel and people hold on to the person we were yesterday because they want power over us. I'm here to tell you that you are more than your past and because of that you can let that thing go!



It is easy to hold on to our past than to let it go. We are by nature habitual or habit forming beings. I say that you make it a habit to walk in forgiveness, to walk in love, and to walk in freedom.



Paul said forgetting those things behind in Philippians 3:13, so let them go and reach for the things before you.



Let it all go and declare to yourself that you are more than your past!

I am more than my past and I am more than what you say I am.

1. A man wants a woman who won't put him down or ever make him feel less than a man.

2. A man wants a woman who can see his potential to be great and help him achieve those goals.

3. A man wants a woman who is proud to have him as her man and not afraid to present him to her family.

4. A man wants a woman who is sexy and confident.

5. A man wants a woman who is a lady in the streets and the a freak in the bed.

6. A man wants a woman that he can talk to and tell his most intimate secrets and not worry about it getting out.

7. A man wants a woman who can cook or at least put a hot meal in the oven every now and then.

8. A man wants a woman who isn't afraid of her body and doesn't mind being willing to please him.

9. A man wants a woman who is a ride or die chick; a woman who will stand by her man in times of adversity.

10. A man wants a woman who loves him and can forgive him when he is geniunely sorry for the mistakes he made.

What do you think a man wants from a woman?

joe4christ.blogspot.com

A woman loves a man who smells good. 1

A woman loves when a man is well groomed and clean. 2

A woman loves a confident man. 3

A woman loves a man who can be thoughtful and unselfish. 4

A woman loves a man who is romantic and wants to impress her heart. 5

A woman loves a man who can stimulate their mind. 6

A woman loves a man who loves God and worships Him. 7

A woman loves a man who can take charge. 8

A woman loves a man who takes care of his responsibilities. 9

A woman loves a man who takes care of himself. 10

A woman loves a man that can manage his money. 11

A woman loves a man who understands foreplay and takes his time when needed. 12

A woman loves a man who pays attention to detail. 13

A woman loves a man who gives her something to look forward too. 14A woman loves a man who is striving to better himself. 15

A woman loves a man who respects women. 16

A woman loves a man who can be spontaneous. 17

A woman loves a man who can think only of her. 18A woman loves a man that is faithful. 19

A woman loves a man that will stand up for her. 20

A woman loves a man that isn't dependent on the every word of their mother. 21

A woman loves a man that can make her feel safe and secure. 22

A woman loves a man with fresh breath. 23

Did I miss anything ladies?

I often sit back and wonder if I'm all talk or if this monogamy thing is what I truly believe in. (Disclaimer: If you're reading this let me be clear this is me thinking out loud. I believe in monogamy and I'm a ONE woman MAN!). But I'm sitting here thinking like wow where did I get this from? What has made me decide to be monogamous?

Was I born with this particular preference for relationships or was it environment that fostered the belief that monogamy is the way to go for me? I have no idea why this has come up at all; actually I do, there are A LOT of beautiful sexy women out there. While I don't think I can be in a relationship with them all; believe me I get the lust factor, I get the idea of them being eye candy, and I get that wow women are amazing. Anyway I don't know if I can pinpoint it to one particular experience or circumstance that can state why I'm prone to monogamy.

I know this much it is a combination of both instances and experience. Experience in life will make a great or poor student out of you! I think I was born this way because it feels so natural. I have a strong desire outside of experience to be faithful to one person and doing it comes natural for me. I think it was environment; seeing people hurt one another because of cheating and lust, has helped me choose monogamy, and embrace it. Experience was the best teacher for me. I've been cheated on several times and it hurt every time, even when the person was honest with me; it still hurt and I never wanted to hurt someone in that way.

Temptation is a very powerful thing, but I would leave the one I'm with or stay single before I made the decision to cheat. Cheating is a decision, even if you have a genetic predisposition to cheat or be non-monogamous.

I think monogamy chose me and I also choose monogamy...but that doesn't mean I don't window shop either.

Did Monogamy Choose Me? Am I really suited for this thing call monogamy or is it just a suit I wear.

I know this I believe fully in the 80/20 rule and that you never miss a good thing until it is gone.

So I'm just woke in my apartment after a long day of work, some good social work, and cleaning up my home. I'm sitting back and just can't get over the fact that I feel betrayed. I mean maybe I did bring this on myself and maybe I might even deserve it, but that doesn't console me or make me feel any better.

I don't know why I was given this blessing (curse) to care so much or to love so hard. Not just my family, but my friends too. I work hard to see the best in people; even when they can't see the best in themselves. See I figured journal, what my problem is; I talk too much and I share to much, and I'm just too open and honest. People get me wrong or take what I said back to people and just get it wrong. My problem is I can't seem to convey to my "friends" that I truly value them. Yeah I mess up, but I will own up to my mistakes. Yeah I can't make everything, but I'm only human!

No one knows what I have been through, but the people I have been truly vulnerable with and no one asked. They assumed things that were one way and never asked otherwise. I have been through some mentally torturing things and through God's help I have survived. My heart torn in a million pieces, but I have survived. But YOU never asked me a thing, you made your choice, and left me hanging.

I got to let this go, but I can't help but feel shut out, broken, and hurt.

So...

Very excited about the wine I have for tasting! Wine is an amazing drink and social gathering tool! I enjoy having company and being able to sip a nice wine!

I'm in awe of you and you're beauty

1. You are not a man just because you were born with male reproductive organs. You are just a male, that doesn't make you a man.

2. You are not a man if you can't keep your word. I understand every now and then you fall, but you never keep your word or you're not reliable. I'm sorry but you're not a man.

3. You are not a man if you DON'T CARE FOR YOUR CHILDREN! How can you let down your seed, your legacy, and still call yourself a man. You are a bottom feeder and worse than a criminal in my book. Take care of your children.

4. You are not a man if you think that you can abuse women and it is ok.

5. You are not a man if you don't take care of your responsibilities.

6. You are not a man if you have no one to hold you accountable and if you don't own up to your mistakes and try to correct them.

7. You are not a man if you can't admit you're wrong and apologize when you've wronged others.

8. You are not a man if you only think of your own needs and never concern yourself with the needs of others.

9. You are not a man if you think that manhood is only proven with what you do in the bedroom.

10. You are not a man if you are unable to submit to the will and way of God.

Life always keeps you guessing and wondering what it will bring you're way! It never stops and wonders if you just need a break or some peace of mind!

People will only do what you allow them to do to you!

Just have to do an assessment of my life and start making some changes! I'm excited about new things, new travels, new love, new chances!

“Trust is like a vase.. once it's broken, though you can fix it the vase will never be same again.”--Unknown

"To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved.”
George MacDonald quotes

“I'm not upset that you lied to me, I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you”
Friedrich Nietzsche quotes

“We're never so vulnerable than when we trust someone - but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find love or joy” Walter Anderson quotes


A big part in the Dating PTSD we experience is whether or not we can trust someone. I have been there many times and found myself hurt by the person or people I trust or have trusted. Trust is one of the most powerful human capabilities, that is thoroughly fixed to your emotions. Trust is up there with Love, Faith, Hope, and Sacrifice; trust in my opinion strengthens your capacity to do the aforementioned actions and what intensity you'll carry them out.

I truly believe that is why God said, "Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding." Proverbs 3:5; He said this because He understood the power of trust and what it meant to have to protect and cultivate some one's trust. God also knew that we would be foolish/human enough to put our trust in others too freely.

We do this in Dating/Relationships and we do it too freely. I'm a firm believer that a relationship without trust can't stand for very long, but if it does it is seeded with much doubt, anger, confusion, and confrontation. So it is very important to know who you're giving your trust to and what to do to not lose your mind when someone breaks it.

1. Trust with Faith and Understanding- You have to believe in the man or the woman you're dating. Believe that they will not break your trust. Give them the opportunity to be trusted by you and have the understanding that people will make mistakes. If you have someone who is honest with you and is remorseful for hurting you, take the time to heal, and give them the trust and understanding again. Remember that you may be in their shoes one day. You can't say you're trusting someone if you do not give it you're all. Partial trust is no trust at all.

2. Be careful who you give your trust too- that is simple and start with God. He is truly the only being that you can give your trust too and TRUST that he will keep it safe. Make better observations of the people you date before giving your trust to them. Remember trust is a hard thing to get back once lost, so you just don't want to give it to a person because they look good or smell good. And you don't want to give it to them because they have a big bank account.

3. Begin to Heal- Some of us have been truly hurt by someone who has broken our trust and we have not healed yet. Most times we put brokenness on top of brokenness; thinking we will find healing, but we are only infecting the wound we have. Trust takes time to build and some times we develop a wall that prevents us from trusting others. Take the moment or the time to heal, seek help if you need it, but give it another go.

We have to be more careful in who we place our trust in and who we give our trust too.

That way we can avoid dating PTSD.

Dating PTSD we can overcome it...

I was sitting in church today and was just in a peaceful state of mind. I thought about a lot while sitting there and blogging. I was so amazed that I just felt good sitting there and even stealing moments to watch my pastor clean up and not wanting any help lol. I'm curious what God is thinking of me right now and I was wondering what I think of myself. I haven't been a very faithful child lately and I've been struggling with getting right with God.

The earthquake shook me, made me want to consider getting "saved" again, but it didn't shake me out of this stupor I'm in. I struggle, I struggle with getting to a place in Him that is safe and secure; it isn't that God isn't providing or willing, but I'm just not sure of what direction to go in anymore. I know I want to serve God with my all, but I'm selfishly trying to hold on to something that isn't more important than my love and relationship with God.

Jesus Christ I am glad that you died for me, rose from the dead, and is constantly, consistently, and concisely interceding at the throne of God on my behalf. I know that your prayers and the prayers of the faithful saints, have reached you and you're keeping me alive and well. I honestly feel like I put your sacrifice to waste with my actions and behaviors, but I hope you can forgive me.

God I pray in Jesus name that you will Guide me and lead me in the right direction. I want to serve you with everything I have and doing your will and way. Please forgive me of my sins Father and lead me to be a real and true follower of Christ; Loving you with all my heart, mind, and soul; loving my neighbor as I love myself, and being a light in this dark world. Thank you for your love and forgiveness. In Jesus Name I pray AMEN.

I was having a conversation about relationships with my friend and we were discussing that marriage still works. When she stated that marriage still works, I followed up with, "as long as they are willing to work at it," followed by, "and as long as they can work at it with the no matter what in mind." My friend laughed in a knowing way and stated, "yeah that no matter what part is the kicker."

We talked about the "no matter what" and I stated that I wish the no matter what wasn't so hard or difficult to handle. Then it hit me, you can't choose the intensity of your no matter what moments, you just have to make the decision to work at the relationship and stay true to your no matter what. If you feel like what has come your way was too much to handle and that you can't work at the no matter what, then reevaluating your commitment to the relationship maybe the next move.

What is your no matter what level of functioning in a relationship? Are you willing to stay in a relationship no matter what comes your way? This is a powerful question when asked to couples who have remained married for many years and are still happy. What was the no matter what moments, the moments they decided to stay even when things got tough.

Sometimes I do wish the no matter what came easy, but then what would you have to work at it for?

Some times we can be so ridiculous and selfish! I don't know why though? It is so amazing that we can't take the time to do for others!

I truly believe why we don't have healthy, amazing, and functional relationships stands on this principle: We don't make healthy decisions. We spend so much time trying to meet our own selfish needs and desires; we forget that when we enter into a relationship with someone else that they are a living, breathing, human being with feelings and needs too.

I think that the ones who are victims to cheating share some of the blame. I believe if you stop choosing the cheaters, than you'll stop the cycle of cheating in your life and eventually everyone will catch on and cheaters will stop prospering. Cheaters tell or show you who they really are, but you're so attracted or so in love, that you stay and they keep cheating. Why not choose healthy and choose someone who will not cheat on you?

I honestly believe that we have the power to save relationships and we can set worldwide standards if we decide to choose right and not what is wrong. Don't be sad over being cheated on or hurt if you continue to choose, date, or remain with a cheater. Listen dig deeper than just physical needs and desires and look at how the person will treat you and how they will get their own needs met. If someone shows you who they are BELIEVE THEM (Medea).

Just make better choices.

Women are beautiful and amazing beings and I absolutely adore them and their beauty, but man I'm so confused many times by them. But I have a solution soon

You're mad, but not that mad. You're speaking but not really speaking! You're up and down at the same time and I just need a xanax ladies!

I get that communication is important and that honesty is top priority, but even with those keys I still find myself confused or left in the dark by women.

I honestly wished that women came with an instruction manual and clear directions on how to navigate them and being in a relationship with them.

You ever just had someone who just treats you well that you're just waiting to wake up from this obvious dream?

I think this time I can trust her with my heart!

Sometimes I think I'm so foolish and crazy for letting women have my heart, but I can't help it! Being in love is amazing!

A poem I wrote a few years back enjoy.

Taste of Tears By Jwriter

I wonder if we tasted our own tears if we would remember...

We would remember the first time we cried...

Or the first time someone we loved hurt us...

We would taste our tears and remember the pain that was caused...

The time we lost loved ones...

The times we laughed so hard that we cried...

Maybe if we could taste tears and remember, maybe there would be more crying and less killing...

Maybe if we could taste the tears of the ones whose hearts we have broken, then maybe we wouldn't hurt them again....

If you could taste the sadness of the one you betrayed as they cry over the pain you caused them, or they ask how could you do that to them, then maybe you wouldn't have betrayed them...

Maybe if you could taste the tears of the loved ones who's loved one you took from them when you pulled the trigger, maybe you wouldn't have thrown death at them....were their tears salty....

If you tasted your own tears and remembered the pain he or she caused you, you could let them go and wouldn't keep taking them back, maybe you could let them go and learn to love yourself...

Maybe tears are salty because of the pain soaked into them or maybe tears shouldn't be tasted...

Oh the taste of tears, drenching hurt, quaking sadness....

Tears cried and Tears Tasted....

The Taste of Tears....the price is paid....

Tasted, Tasteless, Timeless, Tears.....

tears.......................................................................................................

I know that I have a lot to answer for when I meet Jesus and the Heavenly Father in Heaven. I so hope that their GRACE and MERCY will extend in that moment, because the truth is I'm guilty. (Jesus intercedes on our behalf and although we are guilty, He has paid the price, penalty, and punishment for sin). Besides the most important reason for having a relationship with Christ, I often wonder what Jesus thinks when we do the things God created us for.

Like my earthly father loves when I'm having fun or when I'm helping someone through a crisis. My dad says it makes him proud or happy when I'm enjoying myself or knowing that the values he instilled in me I put into action; so I wonder what Jesus is thinking when we sing, or praise God, or feed the hungry, visit the sick, clothe the naked, visit the prisoners, etc.

I wonder if he laughs at our jokes or applauds us when we do a good job. Is he cheering us on when we are trying to overcome an obstacle or is he learning the latest dance step right along with us.

On this new journey I'm on I'm making it my purpose to not put Jesus in a box, but I'm also no longer going to try and make Him this untouchable mythological creature either. I want Jesus to be exactly who he is (God, once a man, Lord, Savior, God's Son) and who I want him to be in my life (friend, present help, counselor, and someone who understands). I want to believe that he does all those things I named and more. I want to believe that he is pleased with my trying to live this life the right way.

What I really imagine is what it is like to hear Jesus sing and what our response would be.

Lord what do you think about this???

"You never miss a good thing until it is gone," Unknown

Have you ever made the mistake of letting love pass you by? Do you ever ask yourself why? Why did you ignore the person that loved you and cared for you? Maybe you've been asking yourself this question many times over the course of your life or during the times you've genuinely had someone who truly loved you and you let them go.

I never understood this phenomenon or how someone could have everything they ever wanted sitting right in front of them and they neglect them. I'm not sitting in a position of judgment, because I do understand how you can get comfortable in a relationship and slip up on doing some of the important things, but rather I'm just curious on how you let the one that truly loves you and gives you everything slip from your fingers.

Even though we quote this saying time and time again "life is short", the truth is that life is so very short and although we can have many surface in love moments, casual sex moments, etc; there are few times in this short life where you find true love and are able to find what some call a soul mate. While I don't personally subscribe to the theory of "the one"; I will say don't let pride, fear, or selfishness hold you back from true love.

It will hurt you if the one you love messes up and does you wrong, but it will hurt worse if you allow the one you love to walk out on you or they leave you because of something you did or wouldn't do.

This life is full of trouble, pain, and adversity; the moment you find love please don't let it pass you by.

Finding love shouldn't be pulling teeth, instead with the right amount of logic, prayer, risk, and love; u can win!

If you can't love a person for who they are now you won't be able to love them when they grow to someone new!

You can't make a person into something you want them to be! They have to make the changes on their own!

Love never comes with a simple instruction manual, but we make it complicated! We ask too many of the wrong questions!

I never knew what could make the heart beat besides the function of pumping blood, but then I fell in love and my heart has two reasons for beating!

I woke up this morning in Kentucky surrounded by my friends and just feeling a peace that I haven't felt in such a long time. I also woke up to this television program that was talking about the peace that Jesus brings and the Love of God; for a moment I felt this wave of peace that just made me want to get close to God. This feeling made me want to call out to Him and ask Him to allow me to walk in His presence, to see His face, and allow His grace to take control of my life.

There was this song that the choir and praise team sang on the program:

Your Love Jesus Is Forever

Your grace never runs out, your mercy is never to far.

Well the song went something like that I can't remember it all because I was so caught up. I do know this, I was thankful, yes I was so very thankful at that moment in time that God just used that moment to speak to me and let me know that when I'm ready He is waiting with open arms. I love God so much and I've never stopped loving Him.

Fred Hammond has these lyrics that spoke to me:

Lord Your Love For Me Is Forever

Your Love For Me Is Forever

To Me There Is None Greater

To Me There is None Greater

Lord I thank you Lord for everything and I thank you for giving your Son to me and giving me Hope.

That Hope I've Found Again.

Working through anger when I get there is so hard for me to get past! It is like trying to swim through a rip tide especially if my buttons are pushed!

If your actions have wronged or offended anyone you should apologize and change your behavior!

Having standards in a relationship is very important! And sticking to your standards sets the tone for respect and love!

Often times we are plagued by the pain of our past and by the memories of the people, places, or things that have caused us pain. In trying to overcome the perils of person to person intimacy, we are often challenged with navigating through the nightmares or flashbacks of horrible and painful exes/relationships.

How do we let go of the past and do we ever fully let go of our past experiences? These are two questions that I often ask myself; seemingly there is no definitive answer that I have come up with. There are honestly moments where I feel nothing about my past and I believe that I have triumphed over the hurt that I have experienced. Then there are those moments when it has been revealed to me that my past hurt was just buried deep in my subconscious and was waiting for the right moment to come out, that moment being when I enter into a dating situation or a new relationship.

How do you let go of the past? I believe that you must first acknowledge that you have a past. Acceptance is an incredible healing agent, when applied properly, it will allow you to walk down the path towards healing. Accepting that you have had painful past relationships will not only help you sort out the emotions you have, but it may even help you talk to your new beau about the problems you once had and what you would like to avoid in this new relationship with them. I'm not telling you to divulge all your past problems, but definitely the important ones you should discuss.

We should apply the lessons we have learned from our past. This is probably the most important step in the process of letting go. Application is the key to letting go and if you are able to identify where things went wrong, identify the qualities you don't want in a person, or identify the qualities within yourself that led to some painful interactions; this can possibly save you from entering into another dating situation and facing the same problems from before. Applying what you have learned may help you towards a healthy and nearly painless new relationship.

Never hold your new interest responsible for the pain your ex caused you in the past. This step is self explanatory. Don't hold them responsible, don't make them pay for the mistakes of your past, and definitely don't move on to something new if you're unable to not view them under the same microscope you viewed your ex.

Seek help. Yes by reading this post you have taken the steps towards getting some good, solid, and healthy outside perspective. I encourage you though to possibly confide in a friend you can trust or going to a counselor to assist you with letting go of the past hurts. Seek spiritual guidance or encouragement from a spiritual leader. Whatever you do find someone you can trust and talk to them about your desire to move forward and the hurt that you can't seem to let go of. Seeking outside perspective might just be the kick you need to help move you in the right direction.

Finally just make the decision to let go. Your past is your past, your ex is your ex (or should be), and it is time now for you to move on with your life. Making the decision to let go gives you the power to say I'm stronger than my past hurts and I want a chance to be happy. Yeah maybe you will have a flashback here or there, or something will remind you of your past hurts, but if you're taking the steps to let go of your past you are going to let it go. Decide to let go and you will.

Dating PTSD we can overcome it...

Life is never what you expect, but you shouldn't let it stop you from reaching the top!

If you subscribe to the school of thought that marriage just takes work; yeah this post may not be for you.

I know for a FACT that no relationship is easy, but I also know that we don't have to treat our relationships like a nine to five that we loathe. I especially believe that those who are married don't have to treat there marriage as a tedious job that must be done.

The way to make it not some loathsome enslavement is to make the decision to not treat your marriage like a job. That you honestly make the decision not to look at the things you can do to help your marriage grow as work. It is truly all in the decisions that we make. We decide whether we give our all to something or to only give a little bit of what we have. Perception is an amazing power, a power that we all have, but haven't fully understood the consequences of such an awesome ability. It is in perception that we make the decisions on how we will approach, handle, and respond to a situation and/or the people in said situations.

Just make the decision to be the best person in your marriage. Make the decision to work through your problems effectively and not be counterproductive. Make the decision to love, honor, and cherish your spouse. It is something that I believe is very simple and it lies in the decisions that we make. A marriage takes two and it takes those two people to make the decision to make it work. The work doesn't have to be arduous, but instead make the decision to make the work fun or rather not even work at all.

It is all in your perception, just make the decision to perceive it from a positive standpoint and you'll be on your way from reading all the crap I have to say and onto making a happy, enjoyable, and fun filled marriage with half the work, but the whole perspective.

This next statement has to be a line in one or two of the books I will eventually write.

"Everything that you've read about dating has been a lie, or at least a distorted, opinionated, and drawn out delusion of what someone has deemed as truth. The truth is it is just a hyped up version of their own experiences and we take it all in just to be soothed from our own failures in dating and relationships. Yes I, the Great Joe, am about to tell you some truthful lies, the difference is I'm being upfront with you and telling you that this is just based on my perception; my version on how I think we should navigate the painful perils of person to person intimacy." --Joseph Snider

The truth about relationships stands on these eight words: we have no idea what we are doing! That is the absolute truth my friends and there is no way around it. Navigating through a relationship is like trying to find a needle in a haystack. No matter how much we say we want the best, we want this, or they must have that; we either end up being totally attracted to the opposite, or we end up sad and alone with our impossible standards.

The truth is we never really have much truth, because we can't even be honest with our own selves. We can't handle hearing the truth about who we are or we can hardly stand looking at ourselves in the mirror. But we hold those we enter into relationship with under a microscope and try to analyze them into what we want them to be.

If you want to know the truth about relationships; stop looking for a cure all or an easy fix. Look to where real truth lies. I find my real truth in my relationship with Christ and through his love for me. Maybe that is not where you find your truth, but I can tell you this much, you won't find the truth about relationships reading another person's truth or their experiences. You possibly won't find it in someone giving you a checklist of do's and dont's. You will never ever find it just sitting at home waiting for the truth about relationships to come smack you in the face. What you will find is loneliness and isolation.

Or maybe you will find out that the truth is you can't stand being in a relationship with yourself. Now that's some real truth.

Dating PTSD we can overcome it...

I see her and I'm in love all over again

I'm spinning in a circle of a dark void

I was so surprised that I was spoken too! It was the first time that I felt I existed!

Man just sitting down at this computer and actually blogging feels crazy...

So...

So I'm sitting in church this past Sunday thinking about how I still feel so distant and disconnected from everyone. I feel like I'm still on this far away island and though I can see everyone; the current in the ocean of emotions and spiritual praises is slowly pulling me away from the people that I've been around for years. At the same time I felt this peace and I felt like I was at home again. I can't explain these mixed feelings I've had, but it felt good to actually say I was home. It just felt so good to be in church again and hear the word of God preached. I'm ready to get back to God and I really truly need to be close to God again.

So I've haven't even felt like home with my friends either. My friends have been wonderful; the ones that have remain unchanged have been wonderful and I'm thankful for them, but I feel so far away from them. I feel like if I was suddenly missing that life would go on and the the truth of the matter is it would. So what can I do to improve this? I don't want to feel like I'm forcing them to interact me or like I need to be coddled. but instead I just want things to feel natural again? I'm slapping myself in the face right now because I feel like this normality is what I have fought against.

So once again it was uncomfortable. Things did not have to be this way. I just feel like I'm being punished, but there is nothing I can really do. Those are the times when I miss my good, goofy, and fun loving friend. Oh well that's life.

So...

I can't stop thinking about how much I need to blog, but can't find the time or the motivation.

I really don't think that love is just a feeling, but also I don't believe that love isn't a feeling at all. I think that love is so powerful it is hard to define it. Love is so powerful I think that we have to stop trying to ex love out of the equation! Love is so amazing and it shouldn't be ex out of your feelings, or your relationship, or your interactions with other people.

Love is so magical and we should experience.

Stop trying to ex love out of the equation.

Have you ever felt like throwing in the towel? When was the last time you felt motivated to live life to the fullest? Does it feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, you may have:

LOST YOUR WILL TO FIGHT!!!

BUT

There is hope! These last few months I have felt like I've wanted to give up. There have been times where I didn't want to get out of bed, I didn't want to clean my house, and there have even been times when I would cry myself to sleep. There was so much going on in my life, in my head, in my walk with God; I was unable to manage it all. Here I am someone with faith and I have gotten through so much with God's help, but even with all that experience I wanted to give up.

CHRIST LOVES YOU

LIFE IS WORTH LIVING

TROUBLE DOESN'T LAST

YOU'RE MORE THAN JUST YOUR HEART

THERE IS MORE TO YOU THAN JUST BEING IN LOVE AND HEARTACHE

YOU CAN MAKE IT

THERE IS HELP OUT THERE

All these things are true. I reached out for help! I prayed that God would help me. I talked to my close friends. I had conversations with my parents. I sought counsel from my pastor. I did those things because I couldn't give up, I couldn't let my problems win, and I refused to stop laughing.

There is hope, there is help, and there is healing. Ask Jesus for what you need. Look inside yourself for the faith that will help see you through.

I love you and Christ loves you more.

Jwriter

When you find someone that loves you and does for you without asking, they hold you up, they are there for you; hold on to them.

You're heart may be broken, but remember you're more than your heart!!! There is more to you than just being in love or heartache

I don't know who I'm speaking to, but you're a wonderful person and no matter what people say you will achieve and you will be happy! God loves you so much!

I'm learning that love is scary, but there is some love that is worth the risk! Worth the heartache and worth the fear: True love is sacrificial and powerful

But I have learned that fighting and believing is much better than quitting or giving up because it is hard! I will keep fighting and keep the faith. (Part 2)

There are times when running and hiding seems so much better than facing life and the burdens that come along! (Part 1)

Hey my faithful followers I hope everything is going well with you. I know you've probably noticed the small little post that are appearing in the JSpot lately and those come from my cell phone. The thing is I want to blog more and I wanted to blog on my phone, but I can't figure out how to get past the character limit lol. SO that's why you're getting the small tidbits or as my friend pointed out "blog tweets" LOL!

This is the thing: it is so amazing what cell phones can do now. I mean it is almost amazing how technology can almost prevent you from being apart of the social pariah or being socially isolated. I can check facebook, send so jazzy tweets, and now I can even send my blog post; although considerable smaller and without a title.

You can do almost anything with your phone and if you have an android phone you can really break the traditional barriers that were once the norm. Even play this game where you spell words with friends (and it isn't called Scrabble.

Technology is an amazing thing and now I have a chance to blog from my phone. I will figure out how to get past the character limit, but until then enjoy the "Tid Bits from the Blogging Cell Phone."

Part 2: accepting heartache or being in things that hurt us; doesn't make you strong it makes you delusional.

I think we are more delusional in the things we say we are capable of doing than we know! Some things like accepting heart...Part 1

Did you ever wonder if life was a mean old lady with chronic diarrhea and early onset dementia? Sometimes I feel that life is mean like that!

Society is now feeling no desire to be "trapped" by the "traditional social norm" called Marriage. But Marriage to me is the ultimate romance! Beautiful Love

Each and every time I dream that I fell in love with you the same way, my heart beats the same way, and each dimension we meet and love each other! WOW LOVE!

It's just amazing when you think that people care about you, but deep down they have a hidden agenda! They mask care and concern to hide their hidden agenda!

Yeah I wish I was an X-men, with the ability to manipulate time, telekensis, healing abilities, and super strength! I would be Tearstruck or Age

It never fails she (smiles) and it is beautiful. I (look) and I instantly begin to dream. I dream that I'm the one who is making her smile. That the (romance) I would bring her way would make her feel like a queen. I'm consumed and now I must make her (laugh).

She (laughs)

We are enjoying one another and spending quality time together. I've sent her flowers or I wrote a (poem) to her that represents the growing feelings I have. I try to capture the beauty that has captivated my heart in every word that flows from my pen. I'm aways (thinking) of her and how to make her happy.

She (loves)

And I'm (loving) her too. I'm in love and can't stop loving her with everything I have. My love is a gentle breeze that cools you on a hot summer's day; full of passion and gentle caresses that will make her head spin. I'm (faithful) and (committed) and enamored by the growing affection we have towards each other. This could be it, she could be the (one or the right now), and nothing will stop me.

BUT

then the laughter stops and the (arguments) begin. the communication is broken down and negativity never ends. we are not the same towards each other and only superficial, surface, yet sufficient (love making) holds the dying relationship together. it is (killing) me softly and draining the life from me. i try to run, but i'm afraid to deal with the (pain).

Rain (falls)

this is the pattern and it always begins with a (smile) and a (look).

no more smiles...

Don't let life rule over you and don't let life pass you buy! It is a true saying that life is short and wasting it will only cause you regret! Live Fully!

I keep promising myself that I will not love again. I convince myself that I'm not meant to be in a relationship and that I should stay by myself. I think about all the times I've been hurt, all the work I put in, romantic gestures, love offerings, and a portion of happiness that seems to only last a minute. I always say not to go back, especially if the break up was potentially painful, but no, I go back and I have lied to myself again; "I'm back in love again."

How can I never again love? How can I walk from the painful delusion of happiness? I'm not afraid to be alone, or to venture through life as a single man; truth is I've experienced less headache when it is just me and me alone. Never again shall I love, but here again I have lied.

Never Again To Love, I shout to the high heavens. Another woman will not hurt me or throw my love away. I won't waste time writing love letters, poems; I won't waste time sending text messages saying "I'm thinking of you" or "I love you", I won't send flowers randomly, or surprise you at your job for lunch; Never again will I sip from the cup of deceit that is romantic love, or taste the sweet nectar of a woman's lips. Never Again To Love right? No I fool myself, I have lied to myself, and I trot down the road for love.

Never again to love right?

Be careful who you talk to and what you talk to them about. Even if they appear to care or want to be helpful; they will probably distort the truth and throw you under the bus. They will more than likely cause more harm than good.

Don't let drama and foolishness get out of hand. Stamp it out before it turns into a forest fire. If it looks like drama, sounds like drama, and feels like drama; it will more than likely end up destroying things and those you care about.

Keep you enemies close and your friends even closer.

Don't be surprised when the ones that have caused issues with others will turn around and cause issues with you.

Remember when you point the finger, three are always pointing back at you.

Forgiveness is a powerful weapon and it breaks the chains of anger and bitterness.

Jesus Christ the Son of God will forgive you if you confess your sins and accept His gift of salvation.

Your words define you first and your actions define you for a lifetime.

Lies are poison that spread like wildfire and infects the hearts of those you wish to hold on to.

There are many things that I have been thinking about and I have been unable to put them down on paper. I've been unable to put them down online or whatever you call this writing utensil.

It is almost impossible for me to talk about what I have gone through these last few months; ups and definitely some downs. How I've been trying to get a grip on my spiritual walk and truly be committed to my relationship with God. Overcoming my fears and anxiety of taking my licensing exam, so that I can improve my career options and funds; this has been a huge challenge for me. Finally dealing with being temporarily unable to live comfortably in my own home. This and a multitude of other issues has brought me to this place of confusion and slight depressive feelings.

I'm not unhappy, but I'm confused and there are a lot of questions that I need to answer. I know the main cure to this mental and emotional quicksand I'm in is to give my life fully back to God and return to my relationship to Him, but I won't make the move. I sometimes feel so lost and feel so alone. The level of pain I feel when I lose friends has become thicker and heavier lately, but I'm trying to cope with that and to understand that sadly maybe I can't be friends with everyone. I don't really know.

I have many things to consider: relationships, career, possible move, relocation??, when to take the exam, additional job??, stepping down???, and so much more.

Help me...

I just can't ever understand journal this thing called life. Most times it is so difficult to try to grasp how to manuver through life effectively. How to hold on to beauty and not let it slip away. I'm confused about love and I'm confused about how to keep a woman.

So I'm looking at what I'm going to do next...


I got to go...

So...

I don't believe that people comprehend the power that is within their words. Whether your words are spoken or written, they hold tremendous power, and if not used wisely, they can cause great harm to the people or environment that hear/receive them. I know you may think I'm crazy for believing this, but I do, and being a man that believes my word is all I have this is true for me. Be careful of the words you speak.

I entitled this post "Broken Promises" because that is exactly what I feel like I have faced in my journey to find love. I have found that in intimate relationships we constantly feed each other broken promises; they come out of our mouths like flowing rivers, but they are as barren as the desert they come from. That desert is our heart, our hearts that have endured all the broken promises from ex-lovers, and that same heart that now produces broken promises.

Living by the biblical principle of letting your yes be yes and your no be no isn't always easy to do. It also however isn't difficult as we try to make it. I've learned to accomplish this principle by no longer being a people please(er). I have learned that it is better to say no, than to say yes, and then being unable to fulfill whatever you said yes to. Can you do the same?

During this time I have been sitting here replaying all the broken promises I have had to endure: "I love you", "I will always be there for you", "no matter what we will always be friends", "I want to be with you no matter what", "You mean so much to me," and the list goes on and on. I know you read some of these and said, wait where is the promise, but just these statements alone hold so much in them; I don't think the people didn't realize they were making powerful promises. I sit here waiting for the promises that will never come.

Don't make promises you can't keep. And remember life and death is in the power of the tongue.