I'm so amazed that God loves me and there isn't anything attached to it. I need unconditional love and the only living being that can give that to me fully is God.

I just don't understand how He does it though, but I'm so glad that He loves me very much. And the thing about it I'm not perfect. I know that I'm imperfect, but He loves me and I can't describe how happy I am to know that I am loved by someone like Him.

You know what makes me happy even more than Him loving me? The fact that He loves you too. And that He doesn't force his love on you or me. He wants us to accept it, God gives His love away and wants us to respond to His love with love. He doesn't want us to feel judged or shameful, He wants to love us and to love Him in return.

Let go of all the hurt that people who love God may have thrown your way. I know sometimes we think because people who follow Christ don't always have the right attitude or do the right things; we say that they don't know God or Christ; the truth is that they have just forgotten about His love and need to be redirected. Also they forget that we just serve a perfect God, we who follow him are not perfect and will make mistakes. If we remember that it is about love and not perfection, we can lead more people to Christ.

He loves you John 3:16, Romans 8:1, Romans 10:9, John 6:47, ROMANS 5:8

I want to move on and be free, but my heart is in love with you. My heart beats for you and it slowly suffocates me when we are distant. I want to move forward, but the heart wants what it wants. Woman I know I need to move on, but my heart keeps wanting you.

My emotions burn in passion for you. My mouth speaks that I'm over you and that I'm moving forward, but my emotions affect my whole day if things are not right with you. I know that I want to be married and married soon, but my emotions says if it ain't her it ain't no one. I know I need to move on says my mouth, but my heart and my emotions are stuck on overdrive for you.

My penis; oh you think it just reacts to the physical exploration of your body, but your words, your touch, your sensual design, your beauty, your support, the way you affect my heart, and my emotions, the intimacy, the communication, the arguments, everything about you makes it work and work right. Woman my libido is charged for you and if we were married you would be able to fully understand how my heart and my emotions want to provide for you through the skill of my............... I need the guilt free.

I knew my heart would betray me, and I knew my emotions would betray me, my penis has always been an enemy to me, but when my mind betrayed me and joined the party I knew it was over. My mind has me thinking of you, breathing you, seeing you, hearing you, feeling you, tasting you, smelling you, dreaming of you, and all I can do is see you in my future sight! My mind is wrong for agreeing heart, body, and soul. I need to move on, but the body as a whole is in your beauty's control. My mind is a terrible thing to waste, so don't waste it baby...join me, love me, console me, marry me, love me, join me, console me, marry me....let me go.

My mind, body, penis, emotions, heart, soul won't let you go.

You are more than your past. It is gone and you are no longer bound by it. Yesterday is gone and we don't have to hold on to that anymore. I know that it is hard to let go of the hurt, the guilt, the shame, and people who won't let you forget those things; you are more than your past. Stop being afraid to move from it and stop being afraid to find power somewhere else. We hold on to our past because it allows us to feel and people hold on to the person we were yesterday because they want power over us. I'm here to tell you that you are more than your past and because of that you can let that thing go!

It is easy to hold on to our past than to let it go. We are by nature habitual or habit forming beings. I say that you make it a habit to walk in forgiveness, to walk in love, and to walk in freedom.

Paul said forgetting those things behind in Philippians 3:13, so let them go and reach for the things before you.

Let it all go and declare to yourself that you are more than your past!

I am more than my past and I am more than what you say I am.

Genesis 1:26- "Let US make man in Our image, after Our likeness." Genesis 2:7- And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul."

Singleness vs. Marriage is an ongoing discussion; in the world, in society, and especially in the church. Many Christians struggle with the definition of singleness and the identity of singleness, in a world that often views singleness as a low status, and also in a society that has begun to recreate the purpose of marriage and singleness; to cohabitation and loneliness. The problem I have with it isn't society's view or even the Church's view, but my brother is the Child of God's view of singleness and then their view of getting marriage and being married.
I'm presenting to you the TOP THREE REASONS I believe I'm Single and hopefully you will discover the reasons you are still single or the reason you need to discover your singleness.

The top reason I'm still single is this: I've cheated on my spiritual relationship with the Lord with physical relationships with women! I'm not trying to sound super spiritual, but the truth shall set us free. Having sex outside of marriage is not in God's will and it only stands to solidify your position outside of the will of God. I've come to realize that our relationship with God will spill over into our relationship with a woman or with a man. Our relationship with God spills over into our friendships as well. If you are cheating on God with your bodies and making love with someone who isn't your husband and wife; you are separated from God, and your relationships will be that of separation and confusion. You wonder why you can't make it to the ALTAR? You can't stand before God's presence with the presence of SIN on you. If I was wondering why I'm still single, maybe I need to stop cheating on God.

The second reason I believe I'm still single is a poor perception on how to move from singleness to marriage. The thought belief is that you are ingrained with the ability to just know how to select a mate, date her, and then marry her when the time is right and the money is right. On the baseline there is only this perception that you date and you try to give you're best and then you get your reward of marriage. No one can really give a clear, definitive explanation on what courtship is, how to move from dating to engagement, and then from engagement to marriage. I'm still single because I really don't have a clear picture or I didn't...

The third and final reason I believe I'm still single is that I haven't spoke it into my life. God has given me the gift, He has given me the promise that I can have whatever my heart desires, and God has design it for me to possess the land. I believe that if I trust God and I believe that He will give me what I'm praying for I can have it. The timing is now and if I trust God at His word, I can have it.

This will be a short post because I am tired.

I have a headache, I'm tired from the stress from work,

and

I'm tired of all the surprises!!! Stop making it so I have to clean up after you!

Give me clear answers and give me a clear review of the case.

I am tired and I want to sleep!

The End

I was sitting on the toilet and it hit me like a ton of bricks. A lot of times we stay or I have stayed in bad relationships because I'm afraid to miss out on love or on that feeling of having someone to love me. I mean I feel like sometimes that I will miss having that companionship or that being in complete love; only to find myself in a relationship that isn't going anywhere or to be in a relationship that has only repressed me emotionally and regressed me romantically.

I want to get to a point that I'm not worrying whether I will ever be in love or be married. I want to get to a point that I'm not feeling so led to stay in an unhealthy relationship just to feel like I don't miss out or die! That is the honest answer. Some of us are so truly afraid to die and miss out on living the dream and so we stay in something that is deadly.

Please move away from staying in destructive relationships.

This world is in need of love. There just any other way to describe what else the world is lacking so greatly is love. Why is love so much of a challenge for us? I mean true, unconditional, powerful, and peace-making love. Why are we so afraid of loving one another? We forget about the brotherly love and we half-step giving romantic love and Agape love.

All I know is that peace is within our grasp if we just fulfill the need for love. We can find the great key to happiness and joy when we make the decision to love.

Just think about where you can love more or show love too. if you're in a relationship; think about how you can be more romantic and how you can be a blessing to your significant other. Think about someone you may need to forgive or someone who needs a kind word. Love your enemy and show them kindness that you know they aren't expecting.

We need Love!

I can't begin to describe why so many relationships are lacking and falling apart! I truly believe that we have limited ourselves from positive and creative expressions of love, romance, and pure tokens of appreciation! That's why I bring you this post: Love Without Limits!

Jean Grey and Franklin Richards are two omega level mutants with powerful mental capabilities. One with the power to control physical and mental constructs down to the atomic level and the other can literally shift the dimensions of reality and the time/space continuum! But their abilities had LIMITS placed on them and they weren't fully able to tap into their true potential because of the limits placed on them and the limits they placed on themselves!

It is the same for us in our relationships and our marriages! We limit the positive love we can show to the one we are committed to. We place no limits on how negative, hurtful, or deceitful we can be to one another! We don't limit how low we can be, but we limit loving unconditionally, being spontaneous, being creative in our romantic gestures, and just being appreciative.

From now on I say love without limits! Especially in your marriage you should love, honor, and cherish your treasure; treasure your soul mate, and don't be afraid to romance them.

Do an assessment of your relationship and see if you can improve your capacity to love your significant other. Plan a date, send some flowers, go for a one day trip to eat a nice restaurant, go on a wine tour, bring out a gift they gave you a fews years back and tell them why you appreciated it! Love them with everything.

Love without Limits!

I just want to send a special thank you to all those you are following my blog, reading, commenting, and encouraging me. I love you all for following the blog and I hope that it reaches you in some way. That you life will be change from the words I share. I hope that you can see God's love for you through His love for me and that you will see the power that can touch us all.

Thank You so much for the support and spread the word!

I sit here in my car puzzled by the notion that people can say they love you and yet hurt you deeply! I mean beyond natural hurt that comes because we are imperfect, but I mean intentional, relentless, and uncaring hurt that people bring to you. They are so hateful and just seem to take pleasure in seeing you in pain!

Even worse are the more subtle people who smile in your face! They are very crafty and hurt you in small doses! They don't do well when confronted of their wrong or they flip the script and try to make you feel like you deserve what they have done to you! I feel that they are the true authors of cruelty and manipulation and they do their dirt all in the name of love!

At first I used to have such anger towards those who are like this, but now I pity them. I feel sorry that the only way they can feel better about their lives is to make someone else feel miserable.

The saddest part about it all is that there is one way to cure it and that's to love them and to forgive them!

In the meantime keep your kind of love away from me and the ones I love!

Why do people say that they want their friends to be real? Do you know what you’re asking for? Do you know that you are unable to recognize the real (ness) in others because of the absence of real (ness) in you?! It kills me when people who are unable to accept truth, see the truth, admit fault, can't apologize for their wrongs, can't be the bigger person, do others wrong, talk bad about people, dog people out, and hate themselves; believe for one millisecond that they are real and everyone else lacks authentic capabilities!

Well I say no more!!! Stop putting people on this infinite level pedestal to exude the real (ness) you can't fathom and let your friends be who they are! Stop placing yourself as the poster child for honesty, truth, and fundamental transparency; and realize you're wearing a mask too, that you lie to protect your fragile pride that you get jealous, that you get envious, and that you have problems too! Get connected to people who will call you out on your mess and still love you even when you don't listen!

I don't know if you have friends that don't like to hear, see, or speak the truth, but I know you know someone who does!

Wow I haven't written in awhile and man this feels weird! I mean you spend your whole life doing something you love and you want to perfect, but you get distracted, life beats you down, or you ignore your gift; boom you've forgotten about your craft or hobby or desire! That is how I feel about writing and speaking! I feel like I was made to inspire people with words and to inspire them with great speeches and poetry; with great works of fictions and my ability to be transparent.

I am taking a new direction in life as I begin this up hill journey into upper adulthood. I want to become more serious and more studious! I want to truly walk in my calling and to obtain goals I want to reach! I want to be healthier and spend more time with friends and family! I truly want to spend time writing and encouraging healthy relationships! I want to be more intentional in my Christianity and to be less of a distraction.

How many of us need to go in a new direction?

So... I can't even deny it any longer, I'm really hurting over this thing journal. The difference now is that I'm not letting the hurt consume my entire life. Not only I'm I not letting it consume my life, I'm not walking around like my life is all good and trying to keep a smile on my face.

Journal this time things were different for me. I just don't know what to do with these feelings anymore and to be honest I don't want them to go away. I honestly journal, I don't want this to be, I don't want closure and I don't want to move on, but I know I have too.


This is hard for me and I am so lost, but I am learning. I'm sorrowful and I'm learning.


My heart is opened and I can't close it!!!


So... I love you!

I was once in love with a woman that only loved me for what I can do for her. She loved me until she got the one she wanted. I couldn't be mad at her though because the truth is I was using her to escape the pain I was feeling. To numb my pain with what she could offer lustfully and through a strained and painful relationship. Her love and her body was my medication for extreme depression and hatred.

I was in love with a married women. Though we were never intimate or sexually intimate I was in love with the idea of being in love with her. I was lesd to believe the marriage never was real and that it dissolved, but I knew deep down something was amiss. I wanted to be loved by someone and why not the person I was crushing on for so long. But the guilt and shame I felt and the reminder that so many people have been hurt because of adulterous relationships; this relationship was killing me and I resolved to end it, but couldn't because I was in love with the idea of someone being in love with me and wanting to marry me. It ended of course when I found out the marriage was in fact real, but man did it hurt. I'm so ashamed of this and it kills me even to this day. I hate myself deeply for this for loving another man's wife. I know God has forgiven me, but the darkness still burns and it is forever etched within my heart. The hurt is still fresh.

I was in love and I loved a woman who couldn't truly be with me. I loved her so much I was willing to forsake all others and give my life, my mind, body, and soul to her. To devote my all. She was to be my second whole and I hers. To be my help mate and the lover I craved endlessly. I was in love with being in love, especially being in love with her. I wanted her to be my Eve and I wanted to create a Garden of Eden with her. The tears burn as they stain my face and bleed from my eyes. I still love her, but I had to let her go or she had to let me go. The lines are so blurry. I still love her, but...

I was in love with the lust of this world and it nearly destroyed who I am and what I have the potential of becoming.

Love hurts and Hurt Loved.

So...I've been afraid to blog or to even journal lately because I have been so depressed. Yeah I stand in the wake of another break up, but this time was different. This time I knew it was coming and I knew there was nothing I could do about it. I can finally say that I almost made it two years with someone, but once again it is with deepest regret that I say we didn't make it. Mostly journal because I don't know how to keep my mouth shut or how to back down. And when you have two people with the same personality or determination to be on top; maybe as a relationship pastor said two stubborn people can't make it. Two people who want to be in control or be the dominate personality can't make it; they clash. I don't think it was fully that reason, but rather my purpose to only know happiness in a relationship for a short while. Or maybe it was fate's way of giving me what I wished for and letting me know that's it. (Be careful what you ask for). I asked for a relationship that could last a year or more and that's what I got.

Journal I've said this before, but I think I have a new resolve. I don't know if I believe in any other type of relationship except for friendships and marriage. The in between for me just brings too many unknowns and too many heartbreaks. This was different than all the others because it wasn't for cheating or because we were unhappy with each other, but it was because...well I really don't know and honestly I don't care anymore. Dating relationships are for the birds and birds don't even date they choose lifelong partners. Someone said that maybe I was just meant to be single and to bring joy and happiness to the relationships of others. I sort of feel that maybe they were right. I'm just done with them for now, but I know every now and then I want to hold a woman in my arms.

Journal I can't describe how hard it is to watch the woman you love or the women you once loved move on to someone else. To see the laugh that you made them do some other man is doing that now. It is hard when it is right in your face and you see it. Bastards lied when they said things get better with time, but the truth is you just get better at ignoring the pain until it is repressed so far and deep in your mind you for get about it. Time is a cruel slave master that will hold you down and beat the life out of you.

Love and being In Love is just as cruel.

So...I'm approaching this game a new way.

So...I won't be the same or fall for the same traps.

So...relationships are for the birds. Birdies have fun.

So... sometimes I feel like I'm not cared or truly loved. I know journal it sounds so stupid to say out loud; I mean all the loved ones I have, all the people that love me, that show me love, or who say they love me; why in the world do I feel like I'm unloved? I don't know, but I do. I just feel so empty sometimes. I know a huge part of that is my disconnect from God. I've disconnected myself from Him and not the other way around. I have no idea how to pull myself out of these feelings, they just go away, but I truly hate when they do come around.

So...Journal there are honestly times when I'm absolutely in love with being in love and then there are other times when I wish I had more control over these feelings. I mean honest I wish I could cut these feelings off and on. Especially days when I'm hurt or angry and I don't want to think of this person. But I do. "she" invades my thoughts and as angry as I am at her at times I still feel the pull to want to hold her, to kiss her, to make her smile, to hear her laugh, and to feel the connection that we have; despite our need to deny it or to hide it. I really am in love and I hate it sometimes journal because I feel so helpless and captivated by it all at the same time. What am I supposed to do?

So...today I watched a group of married people just talking and laughing...journal I don't think they realize how happy they looked. It is truly something too this "companionship thing" As much as people want to always say. "It ain't easy being married," "Or you don't know what we go through," besides all of that, why can't people just understand that there is something special about being with someone, loving someone, and they love you back; and one of the most important things about marriage: Guilt Free SEX!!!! There are benefits to that phrase that are both good for the physical, emotional, and mental being. Believe me I enjoyed watching them happy, but a very small part of me had a hint of envy...this is my journal so I can be honest. I wasn't just envious for myself, but I was envious for that married couple that isn't as happy and it isn't for there lack of trying.

So...I will be working on my walk with God journal and I will be trying to REPENT from my evil ways. Help me Lord to turn from my wicked ways and return to you and your laws. "I'm a stranger in this Earth hide not your commandments from me."

Let me inform you now that there is nothing, NOTHING you can do to MAKE him ask you the question. Don't beat me up I'm just telling the truth. I'm trying to help all of us understand that MARRIAGE is a big step; a blessing, a joy, a commitment, but it is also work, an investment, and a covenant...so it shouldn't be entered into lightly. Again you can't make a man ask you or threaten; although the latter has worked for some, but PURE, amazing, and an extension of your man's love and devotion for you is when he asks you out of his heart.

What you can do is be who you are, be a FRIEND to them, if you're in love with them SHOW them, if you want a husband; prepare to be a wife (not cooking, cleaning, or sexing them; no you have to spend time learning the innate things to becoming a wife; nurturing, a concerned woman of prayer and devotion, sacrificial, loving, kind, soft, thoughtful, conversational, PROVERBS 31, how to let your man lead, how to be supportive without emasculating your man, Godly, etc....), you have to set standards BEFORE you begin to date someone. Let the man know before you begin a relationship with them that YOU'RE LOOKING TO BE MARRIED, OR that YOU'RE not trying to JUST DATE SOMEONE. So you have to learn how to set standards and get with someone who is going in the same direction. (You will realize that if you get with someone who is on that track towards marriage you'll see what you need to see in them and them in you; when you both don't see those things you will move on and it won't hurt so bad when you do end it.)

The thing most men are looking for is someone they can call their companion. That they can trust them with their most intimate and vulnerable secrets and person with. Can you be that woman?

I'm trying to tell you ladies that giving a man the freakiest, nastiest, downright no holds barred SEX will not have them ask you to be their wife. (Now it will make them keep you around for a while or put you on the list as their sideline hoe, but for most men THIS is not the deciding factor for them.) So let me save you some guilt and shame here; also some embarrassment later on. If I'm wrong ask yourself how many times you've been the woman in the streets and the FREAK in the bed and YOU STILL DON'T HAVE A RING ON YOUR FINGER???? If I'm wrong someone let me know.

Finally ladies just stop with the tricks, the flips, and the manipulation to get your husband. Just learn to wait and be patient. If you are in a relationship and have been in it for a long time; have the discussion with your man about your thoughts and feelings. Then make the decision if you're willing to wait; if you love them you will wait, but if not you'll find your one. Better yet let him find you; you're a treasure.

Remember to visit my blog, review it, comment, subscribe, and help me become famous!

joe4christ.blogspot.com

jwriter

I have had the pleasure of having an interesting conversation with more than one woman on this subject. It seems to be a growing concern for a lot of single women out there. The questions they ask are: Why won't he marry me? How will I know he is ready? What can I do to get him to ask? These are amazing questions and hopefully I can provide some insight to your questions.

Let me start off by saying that every man is different and so I can't just generalize this based on my experience, but I will try to give theories as to why men won't pop the question to you lady. So let's start with the obvious: "Maybe he doesn't want to marry you because he only looks at you as a girlfriend or sex buddy." This is the obvious reason he has not asked you because you're not the one he wants to take that step with, but he also isn't ready to move on from what you guys have. So now the question is whether you're willing to stay around to see the outcome or if you're content with just being the girlfriend or the sex buddy.

Another reason could be that he is simply not ready to take that next step. Whatever the reason maybe for this phenomenon; forcing him, making hints, ultimatums, etc will not make him change his mind. A lot of women say that we have been together for two to three years...(Time is not a factor for most men. When a man purposes in his heart or knows that you are the one he wants to marry; he will not hesitate, he will plan, he will ask, and you will know.) So again time is not the deciding factor; it may be that they just need to learn something, financial reasons, ego dysfunctions, fear, etc. So give them time and space, he will definitely let you know he is ready to marry you.

If you like what you've read so far... take a look at part two in a few moments.

Thanks and remember to visit, read, review, comment and subscribed to my blog @ joe4christ.blogspot.com

jwriter

God I wonder what the rain is for. Why do you cause the skies to shed it's heavenly tears on this Earth? Are the drops of rain your tears God? Are the drops of rain the anguish that You feel; for our sins and the grief we have caused You? It is so silly of me to try to put You and the Miracle of water falling from the sky into a simple finite box. The rain is one of the mysteries of your Omnipotent power. Who else can cause the rain to fall and the sun to shine at the same time? Who can make it rain on one side of the street and dry on the next? Who else can close up the skies for years on one side of the world and cause endless rain on the other side?

We often cry because the rain has ruined our day or drenched our best clothes. But what of the times when men knew nothing of rain? When men were awed by this awesome occurrence. They only knew the water that laid on the bounty of Mother Earth. They were amazed by the rain and even feared it at time, but unlike them we do not reverence Your awesome power; we try to beat it or we wish it away.

Today as I was able to think about You, I sat in the rain and let it touch me. It cooled my skin and made me feel that I could touch some Holy part of who You are. I know it sounds silly, but I am but a man. Unrighteous and an unholy man, who is unable to appreciate You for who You are; needing more than just Your Word to believe you are REAL at times. So I danced in Your rain and I hid my tears in the midst of them.

I am sad for my people and for the children of this time. We need You to cleanse this world with Your gentle rain and to cleanse the sins of our generation.

Let the Rain Fall.

"Baby I've been unhappy for a very long time and I have to say that we knew that our relationship was coming to an end. We can't work it out because I'm in love with someone else."

"I don't love you anymore. I'm in love with another man or woman"

"We can't be together because I love someone else. It's me not you."

Have you ever had to hear these words? Has you're heart ever been broken by your lover or significant other telling you these words or maybe you're the person who has said these words. To the person who has said these words I have one thing to say: END THE RELATIONSHIP BEFORE FALLING IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE ELSE. You may not be able to help who you love, but you can at least end the relationship you're in first before falling for someone else.

To the one who had to hear this and was somehow expected to just deal with this I want to help you at least ease the pain or walk towards recovery with this Relationships Talk post. So here we go...

The FIRST thing you have to do is to acknowledge that they are in love with someone else. Don't try to rationalize it or deny that they are just upset or confused; most times if they have told you this then they are in love with someone else. Acknowledgement is always the first step to recovery. (I'm not saying that you can't fight for them if that is what you want to do, but acknowledging the truth may help you see clearly.)

The NEXT thing to do is to refrain from blaming yourself. OK so the relationship had it's problem or things were on the rocks; but solving the problem is the key, or ending the relationship, or going to see a counselor; anything but getting into another relationship or FALLING IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE ELSE!!!! Sometimes when we don't understand something in our relationship or the one we love wants to leave; we blame ourselves, "it's all my fault" or "I didn't love you enough," but the truth is no matter what you did or didn't do; they decided to go to someone else, instead of facing you and ending it, rather then falling for another person. (To fall in love takes time and investment; so it didn't just happen over night.) I do believe that you can PUSH people away, but it is always their choice to get with someone else.
So don't blame yourself.

The THIRD thing that you should consider doing is letting go. Let them have their time away and you take your time to ask some important questions. The biggest question being if you can take them back if they ask to come back. Letting go is important for you so that you can see what you need to learn from this craziness; what you can do differently next time, whether you want them back, and whether it is time for you to enjoy your singleness. This isn't the time for you to BLAME yourself or to waste it being angry, but the first step to you healing. (Stay off their Facebook page, calling them or texting them all the time, or stalking them LOL).

Honestly you have to do whatever you need to do to get through this, but the most important thing to do is not to blame yourself and to try really hard to let go.

Being in love is very unpredictable, but I believe that if someone LOVES you truly they can't fall in love with someone else. Remember it takes time and investment to FALL IN LOVE with someone.

We just talking about relationships.

joe4christ.blogspot.com

So journal it has been awhile since I've spoken to you. It has been an amazing few weeks. The biggest part of it all is that I've gotten my own place. Having my own place is truly a blessing from God; nothing I've done or anything I deserve to have this opportunity. I have to first give thanks to God, to my parents who raised me and helped me get to this point, and to everyone who has been a constant encouragement to me.

So I love having my own place. It is a peacefulness I can't explain, but also it helps me to feel like I've taken the next step to walking into adulthood; feeling like a man. I'm not prideful because I know I didn't do it on my own, but I definitely feel good about being able to sign a lease and get the keys to an apartment. You know God willing it doesn't stop here and one day I will get the keys to a house...but for now I'm very excited about being able to come home, blog, watch TV, cook dinner if I want, eat leftovers, sip on some Moscato, or just sit back and relax.

The best part of having my own place is having a clean BATHROOM!!! Oh the best part of this is having a clean BATHROOM. Sweet peace is so awesome. I'm very exciting about being able to have a clean bathroom and keeping it clean. Anyway I'm hoping to take full advantage of having my own place, of taking time to study, to get better at cooking, to grow up a little more, and oh yeah pay bills. LOL

So...I'm looking forward to this next step in my life and I hope that you guys will take this journey with me. Tell everyone you know about this blog, follow, subscribe, read, and comment.

So...

"For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?"- Mark 8:36

"For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?"- Matthew 16:26

What can you give in exchange for your soul? Will you trade your soul for fame or fortune? For riches or money? What is the soul and the price for it? The Bible presents an interesting question to us.

I don't know the answer, but what I do know is that I decided to give my soul to someone who will honor it and cherish it. Who will protect it and I gave it too Him freely. It didn't cost me a thing and He didn't steal it from me. I gave it to Jesus Christ the Son of the True and Living God.

I don't know what would happen if you sell your soul or exchange it, but I do know what will happen if you give it to Christ. The Bible says that, "God so loved the world that He GAVE His only Son, that WHOEVER believes in Him WILL NOT PERISH, BUT WILL have EVERLASTING LIFE," John 3:16. That is a promise.

Does that mean life on Earth will be easy? No, but it will be a little easier to bare. It will still bring you heartache and pain, but you will have comfort and someone who you can confide in and cast your cares upon. Unconditional Love and Forgiveness. Nonjudgmental and Merciful. These are the things I can promise you and most of all a Choice. What will you choose?

"For the wages of SIN is DEATH, BUT the gift of God is Eternal Life through Jesus Christ our Lord." Romans 6:23

jwriter

And no I'm not talking about the cyclical process of the rotation of the Earth around the Sun; nor am I referring to the cycle that women come on every month for 3 to 7 days, and I'm not talking about the cycle of teenage pregnancy, cycle of poverty, and I'm not talking about the cycle of abuse that may manifest itself in those who have been abused; no I'm talking about the cycle of slight depression or frustration that I often experience.

Sometimes I feel so lost and I often beat myself up because I'm not as successful as I planned on being or hoped to be. I don't do it often, but sometimes I end up comparing myself to the success of others or the triumphs. I fight so hard not to do this though because I know it won't do me any good, but then something is said to me or I'm criticised and I end up right back in the same cycle. It seems that sometimes no matter how hard I've been working or how much I've tried to stay on my grind; people find some way to make me feel like I should be doing more; and I take it and truly beat myself up over it.

I can't blame people for my self-loathing attitude or blame them for thinking me a failure. I don't think I'm a failure, but I'm always saying to myself that I need to do more. But the truth is I'm tired. I'm not saying I want to be stuck in one place, but right now I just want to take a break. I've been grinding strong for years and trying so hard to not be the nothing nigga (excuse me) people have said I would be, or another statistic, a baby daddy, or just like my daddy, or whatever else people have tried to place on me.

I will go strong for days, months, years even; to prove to myself and to the world that I can make something of myself, but then someone says one thing and it sets me on my path of over criticising myself and living in self-fulfilling prophecies and I am tired. I will make something of myself and I won't be trapped in the box that people have tried to put me in. I will be successful and I won't keep walking in this cycle. I have the power already within me and I can do anything I set my mind to do. I just wish people had a little empathy and could look at things from my perspective. But why expect anything from people except to expect to be disappointed by them. It is what it is, but the cycle will one day end. For now I have to bleed and hope for menopause.

j/k

joe4christ.blogspot.com

So journal I've just been empty these last couple of weeks. Not really understanding why things have been going the way they have, but understanding perfectly why they have been going down hill. I feel so empty inside and yet I also feel so alive. Most days awake I'm sad and I feel alone, but when I sleep I'm able to relax and my mind is able to work out everything I couldn't face during the day. I hope to find peace soon journal. I hope to find what I've been searching for and I hope to some day soon obtain what I've been longing for.

For now journal I'm a void and I need escape.

So...

I wish I wasn't the type that thought of you each and everyday.
Or the type to send you flowers just because I'm thinking of you.

I wish I wasn't the type who would give you my all.
Or the type that is willing to give up everything for you.

I wish I wasn't the type who respected a woman's independence.
Or the type that doesn't demand or command respect from his woman.

I wish I wasn't the type who knew you inside and out.
Who didn't care what made you laugh or what makes you cry.

I wish I wasn't the type that loved holding a woman in his arm.
Or the type that wanted to make her secure.

I wish I wasn't the type that believed in chilvary.
Or would never allow you to take out the trash while I'm around.

I wish I wasn't the type that believed in truth and communication.
Or the type that would change himself to make her happy.

I wish I didn't believe in love and romance.
Or believed that man and woman were meant for each other.

I wish I wasn't they type who would stay until the very end.
Or know that things were bad from the start, but wanted to fight anyway.

I wish I wasn't the type that falls in love.
Or who can forgive a wrong doing simply because I love her.

I wish I wasn't the type who believed in dates.
Or the type that believed in making the best out of everything.

I wish I didn't believe trust or happiness or truth.
Or the type that would love you forever.

I wish I wasn't the type who cared if you were satisfied first.
Or that believed in physical, emotional, and mental satisfaction as well.

Although I wish I wasn't the type...unfortunately I am. So I'm looking for the type of woman who would love all this and wants to be with me no matter the cost.

"Wish I wasn't the type who wants a boo in their life, but sadly I am smdh!!!" - A Friend, who I sadly had to agree with :("

A Word for the Singles

6But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment. 7For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that. 8I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, it is good for them if they abide even as I. 9But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.

The truth of the matter is that people are afraid of the word SINGLE!!! Is it so bad to be single; most times no and sometimes yes. Is the desire to be married wrong; the short answer is no, but the problem comes when you’re obsessed with getting married and then you try to do whatever it takes to get to that point. It is probably better for you to stay single until you learn to put your trust in God.

Let’s talk about this scripture where some people have (in my opinion) used this to stamp the belief that some are meant to be married while others are meant to be single. In verse seven Paul was stating a “wish” or a “desire” that everyone would choose to be single. Does this mean that it was God’s will for him to be unmarried; I don’t know, but I do believe that God gave him the “gift” of singleness and gave him a purpose in his singleness. (Keywords: Gift, Purpose). Paul also made a decision to remain single and stated that he was able to focus on God’s work and what a great work it was. Paul was able to spread the Gospel and write a good portion of the Bible!!! (Don’t tell me Singles can’t do a mighty work for God). Paul also in the same breath stated in the same voice that “EVERY” man has his proper gift from God. The gift to remain single was in Paul and God gave him that gift, but Paul chose it! Paul knew God’s purpose for him was to serve and to be an apostle; only after he had and “ENCOUNTER” with Christ. How can we know God’s purpose for our lives if we don’t have an ENCOUNTER with his Son?

Paul wanted everyone to have an easier Christian walk and didn’t want people to be so divided in this Single VS Married war. He knew that there would be stigma associated with people of a certain age still being single. I believe Paul understood people would become obsessed with being married, that people would get married only to be free to have sex, that marriage would be dishonored and the people would lose focus; therefore he desired that ALL men would desire to live as he does (Celibate, Gifted, and Working in his Singleness). While this scripture clearly defines Paul’s desire for people to be “content in whatever state they are in,” it however does not support that it is God’s will or design for some to be married and some to be single.

Paul said in verse eight that if you can’t contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn. So does that mean that we must marry to get rid of this lust or passion; no, but it does mean that if you’re unable to get past you’re desire to be married, and you don’t have the gifting for celibacy, at God’s appointed time; you should marry.

Please believe me when I say that lust, desire, and sin doesn’t erase when you get married, it is even a greater time for you to begin to pray for God’s mercy and protection. We must learn to do what Paul said in Philippians 4:11-13 (New King James Version), 11 Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: 12 I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. 13 I can do all things through Christ[a] who strengthens me.

If you desire to be married seek God, and if it is your desire to remain single seek God. “Delight thyself also in the LORD: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart,” Psalm 37:4

P.S.- As for me I don’t have the gift of singleness; this is prayerfully just my season and not my appointment 

jwriter
joe4christ.blogspot.com

What makes a great relationship? What are the ingredients to an amazing, exciting, spicy, thrilling, laidback, and stimulating relationship?

Earlier today I saw a man and woman arguing about his woman cheating on him and the brother looked hurt. (I was all in their business) but fellas why do u take someone else's woman and ladies why do u take another woman's man??? Let's Talk for real!!!!

Hey Ladies are good men just an option for you when you get older? Is that fair? And what makes a man good?

Marriage Talks- The Number One Reason For Divorce

The number one cause of divorce is financial issues, followed by communication issues, lack of commitment to the marriage, sexual problems, and change in priorities. Why are finances so huge that they could destroy something so sacred and so powerful than marriage?

There are three things that I will try to pinpoint as the reason why financial issues can lead to a complete breakdown in the marriage:

1. A fear of being without and a lack of trust between the married couples.
2. A lack of communication that has already existed in the marriage.
3. A fear or loss of independence and inability to foster independence while still being married.

At the top of the issue of finances is that the world has made money the standard for living; you aren’t living unless you are rich. There is just a clouded perception that money buys you happiness. It is very true that you do need money to survive, but you can’t believe that money will be the cure all to your problems. As I said a fear of being without is what spurns a lot of the initial breakdown of the relationship. It is a very scary feeling that you won’t be able to pay your bills and you are unable to trust that your spouse will be able to get you through this or support you through the hard times.

The arguments are here now and at an increasing rate. The marriage is further broken down when communication is also already a problem in the marriage. If you were already unable to communicate in the marriage, then having these financial problems will just exacerbate the communication issues. It is difficult to communicate when you don’t know you will have a roof over your head or money in the bank. It further alienates you from your spouse and the arguments move from finding a solution to providing the blame.

Finally is the part that a lot of people forget to cultivate when they get into a relationship or a marriage and that is holding on to some form of their independence. I do understand that you can’t be selfish; especially in a marriage, but you can’t become so symbiotic with the other person; that you’re unable to know who you are.

The solution, well there is so much that I can say about that, but I definitely suggestion that the couple work at the most important principles of the marriage: trust and communication. You have to be able to communicate; not argue or blame, but to talk openly about your fears, frustrations, and faith/or lack thereof. I also believe that you have to have a plan, a plan of action, and a plan to still have love for one another in the midst of this struggle. (YOU HAVE TO HAVE GOD IN YOUR MARRIAGE). I’m a firm believer in a “joint account”, but I definitely agree with Steve Harvey when he said have your joint account, but your own personal account as well (THAT YOU BOTH KNOW ABOUT).

jwriter
joe4christ.blogspot.com

Is it true what they say, "what you won't do someone else will?" I believe that, once again this statement is another excuse for people to step out on the relationship when things get rocky. On the other side of the coin though, it is very true that there is someone who is willing to communicate better than you do with your spouse, who will spend that quality time with your man or your woman than you won't, hold them through the night, someone who will build them up if you won't, care for them when you won't, love them if you won't, compliment them when you won't, freakier than you, and do all the things you won't do!!!! So maybe you should really think about that before you lose them to the one that will.

jwriter
joe4christ.blogspot.com

Read and then comment on what the ladies had to say about Women vs Men and who loves Harder!!!

piecesbeauty:I feel its this. Men can love harder than a woman depending on what type of man he is. Sometimes men love harder than there woman but doesn't show it because of their own insecurities within themselves. Women love hard because that is in us, its the nurturing part of who we are. Some show it in different ways but when it comes down to it that's what we do. I feel men love harder through actions and women love harder through emotions.

blessedbythebest: i think individuals love differently, regardless of their sex. i agree with @chalisse23 that it depends on what type of person they are. Yes, women, in general, are nurturing and love hard but not all women are like that. Some of them have different perspectives because of what they've seen others do or because of their own experiences . The way they act, feel and think are shaped by those experiences. Some can be more guarded and may be unable to really let themselves fall in love or love hard. Same with men. I've met some men that fall deep in love so fast and some that could care less. Some love just as hard but don't know how to express it. So my answer to the question in not necessarily.

Sorry guys - chalisse23 didn't follow the rules and share her comments with everyone. LOL

how are you going to put me out there...well here was my comments ms. big mouth.

piscesqueen: feel its this. Men can love harder than a woman depending on what type of man he is. Sometimes men love harder than there woman but doesn't show it because of their own insecurities within themselves. Women love hard because that is in us, its the nurturing part of who we are. Some show it in different ways but when it comes down to it that's what we do. I feel men love harder through actions and women love harder through emotions.

jwriter:@everyone: Thank you blessedbythebest and piscesqueen for commenting so far. I'm really excited about the comments and posting it. As you know posting is on Monday, so feel free to comment until Sunday. I'm looking forward to reading the other comments and I promise I will only do this once every two to three months so you won't miss out on too much work blessedbythebest. Oh and Men love harder then women, we just love differently, but it is terrible when a man's heart gets broken, because we don't know what to do with the broken pieces, but to lash out, or to blog LOL.

blessedbythebest: that's my point @jwriter, it is terrible when a man's heart gets broken but it's terrible when a woman's heart get broken too. I'm liable to lash out at every unsuspecting person in my path. but I know some people who will go out and party like its 1999 after a heartbreak. it just depends on the individual :)

piscesqueen: Well I have done both....The hangover was not much appreciated for the partying part but it felt better to do that than deal with the pain. Now instead of lashing out a lot of females including myself go into a bubble and just deal with it. However, is there any positive way to deal with a heart break. I mean really?

Justme: I take it that when you say 'love hard' you are referring to total commitment and loving with your whole heart? I agree with blessedbythebest men and women love hard but they express it differently. The expression of that love will depend on what they observed as a love while growing up, their past experiences, who they are as a person (i.e. self esteem) and their comfort with expressing their emotions.

Loveyourselffirst: Ok I have to agree with a lot of the comments that was made and can definitely agree the both women and men love differently. However, I do think in most cases women do love the hardest. There some men that are more sensitive then others and make their love know to the women in what ever why is needed. Then you have those guys that they feel if they take out the trash that's there way of showing how they love you. You have to ensure that the women and the man understand each other and what symbolizes their love. And to heart breaks I believe that women have is the worst and take it the worst because women are usually more emotionally attached to their partner so when the break up happens we don't know what to do with those emotions. Men on the other hand move on rather quickly to the next women in line. Women have to wait and find the next good thing and the ration of good men isn't that great these days. I have so much to say but can't type fast enough, but last statement on men loving harder I always say the best way a man show a women how much the love and appreciate her is by cheating on here. Men are a totally different animal from women. There is no science to it at all...

jwriter:@Loveyourselffirst: I first want to thank you for commenting, but I definitely have to debate that men move on a lot faster; so untrue; I think for all men that when we truly fall in love with someone, we have dropped all pretense of pride, and in a sense have made ourselves vulnerable. You are absolutely right when you say that women and men have to understand each other; MEN AND HEARTBREAK do not go together!!! It is way worst, because now a man's pride/ego/emotions/feelings everything have been stepped on and they now have to either bottle it up or be stigmatized as sensitive or weak, or they turn their hurt into anger and go on a rampage of loose women, "moving on fast- (please believe he is still thinking of you while he's banging her," or become very bitter or even misogynistic towards women. This is the cycle that has ran the ration of "good men" dry. I do believe we have to learn how to communicate better, I do believe heartbreak is hard for both a man and woman, but I think it is a lot worst for a man. (Chalk it up to the double standards of the world: Women are to be emotional (not all women are emotional or able to express emotion) and Men are to be these walls of steel, can't "fall in love", emotionless, sex addicted love sticks. (So not true at all).

lifechangingchick: WOW!!! Great points and perspectives everyone! I have to agree with blessedbythebest and picesqueen. Individuals do love differently. I believe it first has to do with upbringing as justme pointed out. What a person sees in his or her surroundings as a child may really affect how they act in a relationship. I always saw my mother and father together, doing family things, dating etc., so in every relationship I put waaaayyyy too much into it waaayyy too early thinking that was how it was supposed to be and as a result always ended up hurt. I do think that the past really affects the way a man or woman loves in the present. That may or may not be a good thing. If they take the good and the bad, learn what works and move forward it's great but of course it doesn't always work like that. I've seen and heard of many situations where both men and women allow their past to ruin a perfectly good relationship. @jwriter and actually everyone else, check out this movie called "Diary of a Tired Black Man" it really speaks to what this discussion is about and much more.

Angelthoughts: I think this question really depends on the people in the relationship. I think women are "traditionally" labeled to love harder. We are emotional, sensitive, can be needy, and we want attention from the man we love. We are nurturers so it can be in us to take care of the man and cater to the man, almost like taking care of our children. So, sure, we can love harder in the relationship. But there are men that love harder as well. Being a woman, and receiving this kind of love from a man can actually be a little scary and shocking, especially if we have had bad experiences in relationships. I've seen men that love hard, and the women takes advantage of it. Our love for each other doesn't have to be a competition, we can both give 100%.

So I got the fellas to discuss if a man should be allowed to cheat. Check out this conversation.

kdiesel: That's a good question, my answer would have to be yes and no, The reason for the "yes" is because if they are not married then you are still single. I know there should be a sense of commitment and trust but until you're married, you're still single (free). Now I'm not saying go out there and sleep with the world or even be on a rampage hurting women. If you really want to be with her then just be with her but if you still want to play them go play and let her know. I also said "no" because if you're married then you have one wife and that's it. You made a covenant unto the Lord.

Prince2D: Before I answer this question,I would like to propose a rhetorical question for thought........
"If you were given permission to cheat (HAVE SEX WITH WHOMEVER YOU CHOOSE TOO HAVE IT WITH) what is or would be the first thing YOU would do?"
Whatever your answer is, take that and say half of the world would do what you said and half the world would do the total opposite. So I say all that to say "A man with permission to cheat is a receipt for a dying world". It's equivalent to sharing a drug needle, or randomly sleeping with people knowing you have HIV. I make sound that bad because in so many instances it is really just that bad. For a woman to give her man permission to cheat, open the doors for so many hazardous arenas....let alone its totally goes against Godly teaching!!!
Giving a man/woman permission to Cheat is a modern day Sodom and Gomorrah rules....and we know how that ends. It was one point where Cheating was look down upon and people were really trying to stop because the hurt that it cause so many people and families. Even back in the day when Woman knew there husbands were cheating, they didn't give them permission but they also couldn't stop it or leave either but Now everything is coming back to full circle worst and harder then before. Cheating with Permission its an excuse for men and women to "Go Along to get along", or to "compromise what they cannot prevent or stop" and at the end everyone has been blinded to believe that this is actually working.

Sideshow: Wow, what a question, indeed the flesh jumps for joy if your mate said that you can cheat, but then you begin to wonder, if I'm sleeping around then she must be sleeping around also, and I just can't handle the fact that my boo is being tossed up like I'm tossing another shawty up...so to speak. I don't think that I'll be able to handle it on my end if the tables were turned, so my answer would be thanks, but no thanks. Not to mention we both have a past and you know what they say, when you sleep with your mate, you are sleeping with everybody that they haave slept with also....ewwwwwwww, that's one to grow on!!!!!!


Sideshow: @kdiesel & @Prince2d: You both make sense, but I'm quite sure that when a man first hears that he can go soil his royal oats, don't think that GOD comes to mind, only after he has done his do, then he begins to have a revelation.

Prince2D: @ Kdiesel: I see your point and no it wasn't establish as to who the rules apply to and honestly this question can be answered very differently depending who's answering and from there point of veiw...but lets think about this - whether your married, single and dating or both.......no one should be out there just having the time of there life with any and every woman... yes if your single you can date, interview, meet. court whatever...but if your in a relationship and your mate says "Sure you can date other woman" or however she puts it..... (and I speaking solely on the physical piece) because in my mind if your woman give you permission to CHEAT, you or any other man is not going out there with the intentions start any "emotional" tides with another woman...your going to go out there and "handle your business" with another woman and the emotional tides with come soon after "It may come". Yes cheating is more then having Sex but in this case unless specified differently...I'm almost 99.9% sure that when they say "Cheat with permission" they mean "your free to have sex with whoever you want". And about that whole Sodom and Gomorrah piece ( I speak about that in regards to those that know whats right and wrong and continue to do what they please) - and is that case it really is similar because to go out and have your way with other women knowing you you have your one at home is a sign that you clearly don't care about the will of God and don't plan on obeying either.

jwriter: @everyone: Man thank you guys so very much for your comments so far. I'm absolutely amazed at the dialogue and the content of your responses. I'm very impressed at the level of discussion we are able to have. Now as far as my answer, I think that it is important that we understand cheating is never right in any circumstances. If you want to have more than one woman to tap, have sex with, smash, crush, break headboards with; you need not to get into a relationship with anyone. Hands down!!! No questions asked, whether single and especially married. We have to look at the world we live in though. We live in a world where it is OK for married couples to swing, and for singles to have the time of their lives...(I wish I was one of those singles LOL j/k), but really we are sowing into a world full of hurt, destruction, and false doctrines when it comes to relationships. That is why a woman would be stupid enough to give her man permission to cheat, because she is tired of being hurt, lied to, and cheated on. She wants to be in control of the cheating so to speak and still be able to have someone to hold her at night. Again thank you intelligent brothers for commenting and we have until Saturday, before the forum closes. Thanks!!!!

Kdiesel: @everyone: So is it consider cheating when a men have more then one wife? As we know that still exist. I guess that can be an example of a woman giving her man permission to cheat.

jwriter: @Kdiesel: man Kdiesel I was once on a quest to find one wife, how in the world would I be able to handle more than one. I'm not even talking about the physical aspect of the marriage, but the emotional, the arguments, the financial, the horror man the horror LOL! I think that plural marriage is a whole other discussion, but one that definitely needs to be discussed. I think it is just a beautiful way to cheat in a sense, "Let's get married to each other and I can have five wives, under the principles of marriage, and repoplulate the earth. it's not cheating or perverted; it's how the world should be." I'm sorry to say, but swinging, plural marriage, open marriages, and marriage to animals (WOW) are all forms of cheating; but it does make for a great conversation. Can you imagine how that conversation would go? LOL.

Kdiesel: @jwriter: LOL. That will be a discussion that will be very interesting. One that I always wonder about.

dboy87 @ kdiesel: Man I think its just crazy. How would a man be able to pull it off staying committed to not just one but five women. He prolly got alot of money too if he has to pay five mortgages lol I personally think it is cheating, and feel bad for the women if they don't know that is doing it.

So after reading what the Men had to say; what do you guys think?

Sex, Love, and Lust: Same or Different???

Are these three forces one and the same? Can you have love and sex without lust? Can you truly have great sex without love or lust in the equation? Which one of these emotions/actions/statements are the most powerful, the most needed, the most expected? Are they the same or entirely different?

The obvious answer would be no right? That Sex, Love, and Lust are three totally different words and come with their own unique characteristics, paradigms, ups, downs, and requirements. I think that in the hands of mortals they are quite dangerous and potentially destructive. In the hands of a vampire; well they may be mastered. (That was for all my fellow TruBlood/Twilight fans: June 13 and June 30). http://www.hbo.com/trueblood

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File%3ANewmoon_cullens.jpg?powerset

But with all seriousness, can we have an amazing romantic relationship with all or none of these emotions? Can a romantic relationship exist without love; without sex; without lust? Can you separate these three from one another or must we learn the appropriate measure to use each of these within our intimate relationships?

You be the judge…

jwriter
joe4christ.blogspot.com

Lust of the Eyes

I got to get in control of my eyes. I mean I see a beautiful woman and I get stare crazy! My mother taught me a long time ago that it is rude to stare, but she didn’t warn me that my eyes would become stuck like glue on the walk, the eyes, the shape, the dance and shake; of all women; regardless of size, color, or race. I’m not like a dog on the hunt; I just like window shopping, but sometimes I see a beauty and a jolt of electricity shoots through me like I was struck by lightning on the fourth of July. Please don’t let her smile and then it’s a beautiful smile; it’s like a knee-jerk reaction and I flash that amazing smile back at her, hoping that she can catch a glimpse of her beauty in the ray of my smile, but secretly hoping she is smiling because she finds me attractive too and not that nervous uncomfortable smile that says, “man what the heck are you staring at me for,” I laugh as I do believe that it is the latter.

I know I have the lust of the eyes most times, right now it is purposely on as a welcomed distraction, but most times, I don’t lust (or I try very hard not to); admire is more of the word I try to display. Today I saw an exotic beauty through the hustle of my hectic, treatment plan filled day; she was a welcomed distraction. Not only were my visual receptors on fire, but my olfactory sensors were busily at work. The smile flashes and I see a slight blush, but then my eyes are distracted by the electric green-eyed beauty that makes her way past. I close my eyes and visual hallucinations begin to take over, then I pray for forgiveness and I get back to the treatment plans.

Here is the woman that I really think is beautiful:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kerry_Washington

jwriter
joe4christ.blogspot.com

I can't stop reading our text to each other.

I can't stop going to your online page.

I can't stop loving you.

BUT I HAVE TO MOVE ON!

THE HEART IS A LYING, BACKSTABBING, MANIPULATOR!!!!

Gotta stop the torture.

All I can do is cry because you told me you love me.

I was for real when I said that I wanted you and no one else.

I was for real when I said I was in love with you.

I would have attempted to give you the world if you asked me.

If I couldn't give you the world I would have done my best to make you smile.

You have the last bit of my heart, my body, and my soul.

I have nothing else to give and nothing left to share.

I sit and cry because you told me you love me and I had to let you go.

Relationship Talks- How Can You Love Me and Do the Opposite???

This is one of the most frequently talked about topics in relationship talks: “Do they really love me?” It stands to reason that if a person says they love you their actions will show it right? Wrong. We have seen time and time again that a person can tell you one thing, but do the complete opposite of what they said. Aren’t we all guilty of this pervasive talk and act?

I have to ask people if we can truly ever love someone, when we do exactly opposite of what loving someone should be. I mean can you say you love someone and cheat on them? Can you say you love someone and you lie to them right in their face? Can you love someone and physically, emotionally, or verbally abuse them? Is this love? Does loving someone come with a price?

Here is what I propose; maybe it is time for us to truly learn what love is before we go out and declare our love for someone. I also think it may be important for us to discover ourselves first; to be aware if we are truly capable of loving someone else, putting them above ourselves. Ask yourself the question; are you willing to forsake all others to love this one person? Are you willing to sacrifice everything for this person? Is loving someone that drastic? I believe in some instances it is; love is sacrifice, risky, scary, beautiful, and sometimes ugly all at the same time.

I truly believe that we have to learn the difference between love and lust. Love is not that little shock that you get in your lower regions; that can be a byproduct of love, but believe me your flesh is quite capable of getting aroused without the emotional attachment to a person. I also believe that we have to start being honest with ourselves; maybe you are not ready to settle down or to be in a relationship, maybe you do need to be single and love you a little while longer.

While we are talking just for the sake of the single brothers or the single sisters out there that are truly looking for something real; if you don’t want to be in a relationship just say that, please don’t waste my time, but maybe some of us are just so stupid we get in things we know we shouldn’t be in anyway.

Just talking about relationships!!!

jwriter

joe4christ.blogspot.com

You keep telling me you love me...prove it!!!

All I hear is your lies and your painful words; cut me up with them like daggers meant to slaughter meat.

You keep telling me that you'll always be true, but here I find you with another.

All I see is the one I love beating me down into nothing. Your love never finds me only your hate.

You say you will cherish me, but all you do is despise me.

You keep on and you'll end up with nothing; all I am to you is another love to lose.

You keep on falling in and out, in and out, in and out of love; you'll find yourself broken too.

Marriage Talks- I Want That Adam and Eve Thang

I recently discovered that I don’t want to be married! Yeah I said it I don’t want to be married, or rather I don’t want just man-made, man executed, un-ordained by God type of marriage; what I want is an Adam and Eve type of union.

I mean the marriages of today; most of them are so dysfunctional, filled with no love, no romance, and no friendship; an emotional and soul-splitting void waiting to devour the two people in them. If it is my destiny to be in a marriage, well I don’t want just that. I want to fall in love with my best friend, someone who will love me for me and all my flaws, someone who was designed to trust me with more than being faithful. This woman will be made for me, from a piece of my soul, and I can trust her with my heart, my soul, and everything that is me.

Listen I don’t want just a marriage; I want to be joined together by God. Marriage will be the icing on the cake for what God has joined together. If I’m wrong about this let me know, but I want and Adam and Eve Thang.

So…

So…it has been a minute since I wrote to you journal and boy has some things happened in my life. I experienced a near meltdown at work; being overwhelmed with the emotion/mental struggles of others, the overwhelming paperwork, and the stress of having to keep my personal life separate from my professional life. To top it all off I just experienced yet again another break up, yeah you heard me another break up. I absolutely can’t believe that I’m here again. I did expect it though, because this is my life. I excel in family relationships, friendships, professional relationships, to some extent my relationship with God, but when it comes to my relationship with a woman; well let’s just say I’m 0 and 1000.

I don’t know what to say about it journal. I think I’m an all around good guy, but maybe that just isn’t enough. Being romantic isn’t enough, communicating with women isn’t enough, being a gentlemen, being their best friend, falling madly in love with her; being faithful, being true, loving her, confiding in her, wanting to be with her no matter what; all these things are never enough. Journal, I promised myself that I wouldn’t shed anymore tears over this, but after the fiasco in the movies; not to mention today during a session I had the emotional fortitude of a two-year-old who had his toys taken from him.

Seriously I had to laugh uncontrollably to keep from crying and luckily the person said something funny and we both looked silly. I’m going to move forward though. I feel like I’m giving up journal, but I know that this is best. I’m not going to spend time moping around wondering if I will ever find love; I honestly don’t care anymore. I’m going to keep it moving and see where life will take me. God-willing I will live to see 100 years-old or more and be a healthy young man, even at that age.

So…

The God of Time and Seasons

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

1 To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
2 a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
3 a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
4 a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
5 a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
6 a time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
7 a time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
8 a time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.


As I was driving home today God dropped in my spirit that there is a time and season for everything. I begin to wonder why a God who is not bound by time and who controls the seasons; has us, his children, His creations, to operate in time, space, and seasons? I contemplate this as I’m driving home and He slowly begins to reveal to me, that the problem isn’t his omnipotence, but our ignorance. It isn’t that our ignorance makes us sinful, but the sin is that we are given the keys to obtain knowledge; yet we choose to remain ignorant. He has us to operate in seasons, because we are unable to grasp the importance of following His will. He has us to operate in time, because we would never grow or learn, if we could remain unchangeable through time and space as He does. I was convinced at one point that God did not operate in seasons, but boy was I wrong.

It is imperative that you notice the very first statement in our text, To everything there is a SEASON, and a TIME to every purpose under heaven. This is an affirmation from God. He has declared that everything under heaven will be dictated by time, and governed by his season. There is no way around this; we either choose to follow God’s seasonal declaration for everything, and choose God’s purpose for time; or we choose our own way. So here I was shown that God governs our lives through time and season. Now for some of you I know you may be saying, “hey I already knew this about God, tell me something I don’t know,” well my friend, God revealed to me that the reason we’re not prospering, the reason we are not walking in His INTENTIONAL blessings, the reason we are not walking in His favor; simply because we do not want to operate in God’s time or His seasons for our lives; instead we want to make our own seasons and make Him move with our timing.

We are RMP (R-I-M-P) “Reaping- Minded- People,” we solely operate in a reaping mentality and not in a sowing capacity. The Bible says in Galatians 6:7, “Be not deceived God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap,” the Bible also says in 2 Corinthians 9:6, “But this I say, he which soweth sparingly shall reap sparingly; and he which soweth bountifully shall reap also bountifully.” What did you notice in these two scriptures? If you answered that there is not only a time/season for reaping, but also a time/season for sowing, then reader you are absolutely right. Neither scripture stated that you will just reap; why are we RMP, when there must be sowing to reap? Ok you’re still not convinced I will show you some other scriptures that speak to this principle of sowing and reaping.

Job 4: 8, “As I have seen, those who plow iniquity and sow trouble reap the same.”
1 Timothy 5:17-18, “Let the elders who rule well be considered worthy of double honor, especially those who labor in preaching and teaching. For the Scripture says, “You shall not muzzle an ox when it treads out the grain,” and, “The laborer deserves his wages.”

Luke 6:38, “Give and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you.”

You see in each of these scriptures there was work/action/initial season/timing, and then there was action/reward/new season/cyclical timing. Yes, that is the missing link; we sit back and wonder how God can be blessing everyone else, when we have been faithful and true; we’ve been singing in the choir, paying out tithes, etc; God is saying you think you’re entitled to a blessing, but all you do is prematurely eat your harvest. All you do (Joseph) is eat your fruit before it is ripe. You do not put your hand to the plow, but you expect a plentiful harvest; all you did was sit and watch others work. I know I’m not the only one guilty of this. You can’t expect a harvest without doing some work; even in the blessings department.

Don’t believe me look: Matthew 7:7-8, “Ask and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened. “ There was action with every reaction family. You have to act in God’s will, God’s timing, and God’s season. There is a time to ask and a time to be given. A season for seeking and a season for finding; if you can’t sit in PRAYER (ONE OF THE CONSTANT SEASONS) then you won’t be able to discover whether God has you in your SOWING season or your REAPING season.

Please don’t think that your reaping is simply a time for you to sit back and get your blessings; no when it was time for the season of harvest, the harvesters went out and picked up there reward. They GATHERED (VERB) their harvest. I’m not saying God won’t just have you sit still and have your harvest/blessings poured on you, but you have to be aware of what SEASON of harvest it is. Are you still not convinced of the time and season for your life? Alright let’s look at David’s example of not operating God’s season and timing:

2 Samuel 11:1- “And it came to pass, after the year was expired, at the time when kings go forth to battle, that David sent Jo’ab, and his servants with him, and all Israel; and they destroyed the Children of Ammon, and besieged Rabbah. But David tarried still at Jerusalem.” David was supposed to be in his season of battle, but he decided to move on his own timing and make his own season; we all know what happened as a result. David’s season was not to be at home resting, but to be out with his army fighting for the Lord. He instead chose to stay at home; ended up seducing another man’s wife, getting her pregnant, killing her husband, losing his child, and causing the sword to never leave his home. (Talk about reaping and sowing.)

I know I talked your head off, but what I hope you gained from this is that you begin to look at what season you are in. Ask God to help you to operate in His Will, His Time, and His Seasons. This includes our Relationships, Finances, Jobs, Unemployment, etc. If you truly begin to try and SEEK God’s will for your life, He will reveal what your season is and what you should be doing in your season. If God can change the seasons from Summer, Winter, Spring, and Fall; then He can definitely reveal to you whether you are in your season of REAPING or SOWING.

God Bless You,
jwriter

in the middle of a movie I broke out into tears. what grown man do you know just cries in the movies. the darkness was comfortable, the movie was good, but I was so overwhelmed with everything; tired from a stressful work week, light in the car blew out again, feeling miserable about my failed relationship once again; all this and I let loose in the middle of the movie. My friend who was sitting next to me was sleep, also exhausted from work, she didn't see the painful tears burning my face with each streak. I cried for my pain to stay within me, to comfort me in a sense. I didn't want to cry, but rather hold on to the pain to provide numbness that this wasn't real. i don't want this. i don't want to be sad all over again and yet here i am. how many times must you move on?

then after this emotional breakdown, someone has the nerve to ask me when will i ever get married. I didn't have an answer, except maybe never. relationships don't work for me; at least not the traditional ones i've tried to mimic.

i smiled as she told me i was attractive, but i've learned that maybe it might not be for me to be married.

i don't want any of this.

all i wanted was you.

I love you and God how I wish that was enough! I wish that my love could move you, could make you stay, could make you love me back no matter what. A fairytale huh? Love is just a word, but is it action? Does it require sacrifice? I will give you everything if you just stay and love me.

I love you and God how I wish that it was enough for you to stay.

Psalm 9: 1-2, “I will praise you, O LORD, with all my heart; I will tell of all your wonders. I will be glad and rejoice in you; I will sing praise to your name, O Most High.”

It has been a long time Lord that I’ve actually been lost in your Glory. God you are so very amazing and I don’t think I even grasp the magnitude of how amazing it is to actually be invited to worship in your presence. I don’t think my corrupted finite mind can even fathom how astounding it is to be able to speak your infinite Name to give you glory. It is almost unattainable to think that this corruptible body is meant to give you praise.

Lord I want to get lost in your Glory. I want to get so lost in praising you that I forget that everyone else even exists for the moment that I’m praising you. This existence can’t compare to the praise and worship that I owe you, so I know I have to praise you beyond the place of worship; I have to get lost in your Glory.

Lord cut out all the distraction; TV, work, life, love, being in love, broken heart, emotions; religious, mundane, worship services done out of requirement; Lord cut the distractions and help me get lost in your glory. Lord forgive me of my sins so that I may enter the Holy of Holies, Lord through the blood of Jesus Christ, hide my transgressions with His blood so I may worship You. I want to worship you.
Help me to know what it truly means to worship you in spirit and in truth.

Do you want to get lost in His Glory?

From Alfred Lord Tennyson's poem In Memoriam:27, 1850:

I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.

The poem above is really neat and kind of catchy, but I have to say that I strongly disagree with this statement. You’re not talking to someone who hasn’t experienced this perpetual quagmire; I’m the actual embodiment of this statement, but I don’t know if I think it is better to have loved and lost. I mean I guess having your heart ripped out into a thousand pieces, investing time, fights, arguments, date planning, stressing about looks, changing who you are, all in the name of love; yeah

I guess having these experiences are so much better than not loving at all. Well I’ve sorrowed most my dear Lord Tennyson; even now my heart is a moment away from exploding from the incredulous attitude love displays towards me. A woman who can fully love me and honestly love me is almost laughable. To be perfectly honest I sometimes struggle with the fact that my own mother and sister fully love me. I never knew it to be possible to be loved by a woman; not the way that I love them. I’m not saying that my mother or my sister don’t love me, but sometimes I feel that I love all by myself and when it comes to being romantically in love with a woman; laughable, yeah I’m in love, but clearly she’s in love with the moment rather than the man.

So why in the hell do I keep going back? Why do I keep yielding to love? Why do I fall in love over and over again to continue to be disappointed? It has happened all my life. And for the people that always come out their face and say well I’ve never seen you with a girlfriend; I’m here to tell you one, to mind your business and stay out my personal life, two; I would bring them around, but they don’t last that long, and three; I only introduce the women in my life to the people that truly matter. So one or two things will happen; either you don’t matter to me and won’t get the privilege of meeting the women I get into a relationship with, or I’ve just haven’t got to a point to introduce them to you, because I’m not sure it’s going to last.

I have no idea why I wrote that last paragraph. Anyway, I just want to say that I don’t have a problem with love, loving a woman, or being in love with a woman; I just have a problem with a woman who loves me back. That will give me their all as I give them my all. They don’t risk it all for me, love me with minimal expectations for themselves and only give me the minimal; burned out women who have put all that blind devotion into a negative man, they don’t have enough to love a good man the right way; they are in love with someone else, still dating an ex behind my back, I’m just a sexual fling, I’m there youthful dessert, personal savior, trial experiment, placeholder, comma, semi-colon, but never ever their ending to the sentence. I’m to be used and abused. I know no other role to play. Cursed I told you cursed to forever be alone and watch those around me find love. Is it such a miserable existence though?

But you were different…

jwriter

visit me at joe4christ.blogspot.com

No more relationships!!!

No more heartache!!!

No more emotions!

No more falling in love!

No more risks!!!

No more tears!

You were the first person who showed me they love me before they ever said it. It meant so much to me because I knew it was real.

As much as I want to hate you I love you. I love you more then I was ever able to say out loud. As much as I wish I could never have loved you the way that I do I can't. I love you so much that it hurts to say it, to feel it, to mean it, to write it, to type it, to know it, to have it beat in my heart, to bleed in my veins. Why, why, why did we have to be? As much as I want to hate you I can't because I love you.

I love you so much. I love you so much. I love you.

Why people? Why do we wait until we are hurting to want to talk to God and to listen to Him? I'm so guilty of this even right at this moment. If we just stop and do things God's way we can avoid a lot of pain. (Now I didn't say we wouldn't have pain, I just said we would avoid a lot of pain, or some of the extra pain we bring on ourselves.) We keep trying to rush God to find us happiness, make us rich, famous, beautiful; no we try to do it on our own, make our own love, create our own destiny, but we don't want to wait on God.

It isn't until we are at our point of anguish, despair, hurt, pain, confusion, sorrow, praying for death to find us that we truly realize that we should have given it to God from the beginning.

Now God you have my attention. It's a shame that I couldn't hear you until I was at the threshold of the pain I'm now feeling.

Great

joe4christ.blogspot.com

So here I am journal right back where I started. I knew that taking a risk would lead me back to this point, but I felt that it was worth it; that "WE" were worth it. They tell you not to give up on love or to not fall into the trap of cynicism, but the truth is you can't help it. You keep investing all this time into loving someone or being in love and you get nothing out of it, but heartache and lessons learned. I'm sick of learning lessons and I'm sick of being wrong.

So...

I Never

Sometimes I think I’m cursed. No really I do. I’ve never been too successful in the relationship department. I think I’m a pretty decent guy and I treat women with respect, but I just can’t catch a break and most times I end up having to start all over again. Please tell me I jwriter am the only person in the world that hates starting over again. I can tell you right now that it isn’t fun at all. Shoot and all the emotional investment you put into a person is starting to get taxing. I honestly have to ask myself when I will get a return on my investment. Or why did I make her just right for the next man? (Ok, so the last statement was probably a little grandiose, but readers I do feel like I just made it easy for the next one).

Sometimes I just feel like…should I say this out loud? Well I don’t really care I’m blogging and I can say what I want. Sometimes I just feel like I was meant to be single and please don’t think I am being self-absorbed or melancholic; I may feel this way, but God willing this isn’t the destiny for my life. I’ve seen a few of my close family members have failure, after failure, after failure when it comes to relationships; and honestly my track record has not been that good either. No I don’t cheat or beat on women or nothing like that. And no I’m not perfect either, I definitely have my faults, but I can’t pinpoint what it is.

Listen, I’m not hating on my friends who have been in relationships for years or are now happily married, but come on. And I certainly understand the sayings that everything that glitters isn’t gold, or the grass is always greener on the other side, but don’t tell me that everything about being married is a bad idea or you’re so unhappy, or you wish you were still single, or all the other make me feel better sayings you think will help. I know that marriage takes works, relationships aren’t always easy/fun, “you just don’t know what we go through or went through to get here,” yeah I know all that to be true, but at the base of it all you have someone to wake up next or to hold at night. Shoot I don’t do a lot of complaining on this subject, but it get lonely sometimes.

I really can’t stand you married people who take your marriage for granted. Yes I said it you self-indulgent, selfish, undeserving so and so’s. Always complaining, always saying how you wish you were still single, blah, blah, blah, and never satisfied. You make my stomach cringe and you just are never satisfied. If you can get past the superficial wall of narcissism and get over the pretentious attitude you have about your marriage, maybe you can enjoy it. Some of us are waiting in line to be happily married and you waste yours on adulterous living or complaining all the time. You ungrateful swine, you really disgust me. LOL I sound so bitter LOL…I’m really not, but I do hate seeing marriages end and divorce is so ugly.

I pray that my family and I aren’t cursed with the curse of continued fail relationships and one day I will find the one who will bring me one of my hearts desires. Like I said starting over sucks!

(From inside the head of jwriter aka Joe Snider. Visit my blog, join, subscribe, email, comment, and help me become famous at joe4christ.blogspot.com)